


Watching Doctor Who: Series 1 (2005)

by WatchingDoctorWho



Series: The Doctor Who Characters Watch Doctor Who [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-06
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-11-13 16:28:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 59,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/505479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatchingDoctorWho/pseuds/WatchingDoctorWho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Eleven, Ten, Rose, Amy, Rory, River, Ianto, Gwen and Jack are all put into a room, they get a note telling them to watch the doctor who episodes, so of course, they oblige.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Doctor Who or the scripts, the BBC does.

The Doctor was laughing with Rose, they had just been to 19th century England and met Queen Victoria, battled a Werewolf and figured out that the royal family are werewolf’s. Just another normal day in the TARDIS. They were laughing so hard they didn’t even notice the bright light consuming them. The last time the Doctor felt this it was the day he went to satellite five with Jack and Rose, but this couldn’t be that again. His last thought was Rose, and Rose’s was Doctor.  
**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
Captain Jack, Ianto Jones and Gwen cooper were sitting at Torchwood hub, laughing over a joke jack had told them. It had been sad ever since Toshiko and Owen, but they had pulled through, together. Ianto just went to put a piece of Pizza in his mouth when the same white light took him too, away from his beautiful piece of Pizza. His last thought? Jack, Jacks Last thought? Ianto, Gwen’s last thought? Shit.  
**********************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
There was one thing Amy Pond was at that moment, and it was happy. She had just found out, from her daughter, that her best friend, well son in law, urgh, was alive. I was a sort of party thing, when the bright light also consumed them. Amy was thinking of Rory, Rory was thinking of Amy, however River, like Rose, was thinking of The Doctor, but she unlike Rose, was scolding him.  
***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
“Doctor Who?” “Doctor Who?” these questions followed The Doctor right the TARDIS. He couldn’t help but laugh, the one question, following him his whole life nearly led to his death, quite ironic really. He stepped into the TARDIS, about to take a trip to what was known as the universes best party. However before he could even get to the switches, the light got him and everything went blank. I guess you could say he thought of River & Rose, however like so many other situations, he thought of everybody, but what came through his mouth? “GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”  
***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************  
The Doctor woke up to find his surroundings, although unfamiliar, sort of safe. But he wasn’t going to let that reassure him, after 900 years of travelling; he picked up a few things. He sat up and saw that next to him was Rose, she was stirring and opened her eyes as soon as she felt The Doctors on her. She looked around and asked, “Where are we?”

The Doctor got up and looked closer, “We seem to be in a room, with no windows and a TV”

“So you have no idea then?” She asked, grin on her face.

 

“None at all” he answered with is usual wink “But what’s life without a little adventure?” Just as he was about to take out his sonic screwdriver, three people appeared, out of nowhere. It was like they fell through the ceiling. The first was a welsh woman judging by her accent, she kept swearing, but as soon as she got herself together, she pulled a gun out of her pocket, and pointed it at The Doctor. One of the other men was in his late twenties dressed quite smart, and also sounded Welsh. He too pulled a gun out, but pointed it at Rose instead. 

“Who are you? What did you do?” He asked the Doctor and Rose who were standing there hands up, but ignoring them. They were staring at a man, in a blue trench coat, he had short brown hair, and like The Doctor, was sexy as hell. As he got up, also raising his gun, he saw The Doctor, and noticed how happy he seemed, compared to last time. He then stared at the woman standing next to him. It was complete shock when Jack saw her, however him being him, jump up ran to her and picked her up. Giving her a bear hug and spinning her around. Once he put her down he turned to The Doctor and gave the old fashioned salute, then ran and hugged him too. 

He then nodded at the two and said “Doctor, Rose” who both looked shocked at his sudden outburst, “How you been?”

“Oh you know travelling” Rose answered.

“So I don’t suppose you want to tell me why you left me behind?” He had of course asked future doctor this, however he wanted to see whether he reacted differently.

“Yeah, well” The Doctor said shaking his head

“I was left in the year 200,100 with a bunch of Daleks and dead bodies, the only thing I had was this” He pointed to his Vortex Manipulator “which was broken! It sent me all the way back to the nineteenth century!”

“Woah, wait a minute, these two don’t like they’re from the eighteen hundreds” Rose said a little shocked as she looked at Gwen more, she could’ve sworn she’d seen her before.

“Yeah, I’ve been waiting in Cardiff near the rift waiting to find the doctor for the past 100 years; I finally found a job in Torchwood, with these two, Gwen cooper and Ianto Jones” The two mentioned realised they were still holding guns and lowered them. He then turned to Gwen and Ianto and said “Guys, this is The Doctor” realisation could be shown in both their faces.

“Nice to meet you Ianto Jones and Gwen Cooper” The Doctor said and then added “Gwen are you from an old Cardiff family?”

“Yes, right back to the 18 hundreds I think”

“Oh makes sense” The Doctor said confusing the two and making Jack laugh. 

“So Doctor I’m guessing this reunion wasn’t your idea since I can’t see the TARDIS anywhere?”

“Nope just appeared like you” Rose said answering first.

“Well there has got to be a way out” However before the Doctor could begin searching again, he was interrupted by another set of people falling from the ceiling, the first to come through was a girl around twenty with Ginger hair and a Scottish accent, well her scream sounded Scottish. Next to fall was a rather tall man, with brown hair, around the same age as the other girl. Next to come was a woman, with curly hair and flirtatious personality. She like Gwen and Ianto got up and pulled a gun-like object from her back pocket and pointed it around, Ianto and Gwen also pulled their guns out. The Doctor and Rose mimicked their previous actions and put their arms, along with Rory and Amy.

Jack however didn’t see the threat (probably because his immortality) and said “Hello I am captain Jack Harkness and who are you?” he turned to Amy when he said this and held out a hand, she took and was about to answer when Rory talked instead. 

“Married, to me, Rory Williams, and this is Amy Pond”

“Ah well, worth a try” he said winking at Amy, he turned to Rory “Unless you like threesomes” he asked, cheeky grin on his face, Rory just stared no idea what to when he was saved by the tall man sounding exasperated 

“Jack please don’t” The Doctor complained causing Jack to answer

“You never let me have any fun” Jack turned to River then, she looked like the leader “And who are you, curls?”

“Well, I have a lot of names, but I guess you could call me River”

“Well River, these are my friends, Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Rose Tyler-” A sign of recognition crossed Rivers face as she heard the last name, and she was sure she knew who the scrawny man standing next to her was, “And a close friend of mine, The Doctor” Amy and Rory gasped at this and they both turned to River. Amy spoke up for the first time

“River is he telling the truth?” She asked wondering how The Doctor could look like this.

“Yes, he is The Doctor, just not our Doctor.”

At her words The Doctor realised what was happening and said “Wait so, you know me in the future, oh please tell me I’m ginger, no wait don’t tell me anything, could change the future and not for the good” As he said this he started pacing the room, “Wait what time do we all come from, because Jack knew me in this form even though he hasn’t seen me, and you three clearly know me as someone else”

“Well me, Rory and River come from 2011” Amy spoke up again.

“Really, what’s it like? Oh sorry your probably not meant to tell me, okay me, Jack and Ianto come from 2009”

“And Rose came from 2006, but why are we all here? I need answers” Again he was pacing the room and he noticed Amy was looking at him in a funny way. “What?” He asked completely confused.

“Oh well it’s just, in the future, you do that a lot, pace I mean. But your attitude and dress sense is completely different”

“Of course new man, I’ll always be different, except for the pacing thing, can I ask, am I ginger?”

“No, sorry” Amy said.

“AWWWW Why can’t I be Ginger, I’ve never been Ginger, and I really want to, anyway enough of that we need to find a way out of here, I can’t find the TARDIS anywhere.” He then took out his sonic screwdriver and moved it about the room. “Nope can’t find it anywhere”

“Well Doctor I think we are here to watch TV” Rose said standing near the coffee table.

“And where did you get that from?” The doctor asked as he walked over to Rose.

“From this note” She said grinning.

“A note, there’s always a note, wait why is there a note, pass it here” The doctor cleared his throat and read it out loud.

Dear whoever see’s this first, I have sent you all into one room to watch the Doctor’s life, as it has been recorded by the universe, once you have watched the series you will go back to your own time, however only four of you (Jack, Amy, Rory and River) get to remember, oh and Doctor, move to the right a bit.  
From, Sexy.

At the words of the note Amy began giggling uncontrollably getting weird looks from the others, apart from Rory. As the Doctor moved to the right, a young Man, in a bow tie, and a tweed jacket fell next to him. Amy and Rory both said “Doctor” causing the other doctor to look at his future self, curiosity taking over; as the man got up he gasped as he saw his past self.

“Okay, so not Ginger, quite good-looking if I say so myself, not sure about the bow tie though.”

“Hey, Bow ties are cool, and what are you doing here anyway, you do realise this is illegal?”

“It wasn’t me, read the note” Ten said. As eleven read the note, ten walked over to Rose, realising something was bothering her. “Hey, what wrong?” he asked nudging her.

“I was just thinking, if this is you from the future, where am I?” 

“Oh I don’t know, you probably settled down with Mickey or you could be back on earth, and I visit you sometimes, you never know”

“Yeah” She said a little sad.

“Rose Tyler, you’re not slipping away from me that easily, we’ll be forever roaming this universe looking for new aliens to come by”

“Yeah, forever” as she said this eleven turned around to look at her and she saw the saddened expression on his face, along with shock.

“Anyway, so what regeneration are you?” she asked eleven.

He looked reluctant to answer but eventually did, not looking at her in the eye “I’m eleven and of course he’s ten why?”

“Well it’s going to get hard calling you both doctor, so you eleven and he’s ten, got it?” She asked the room and jack smiled.

“There’s the Rose Tyler I know and love, so are we going to watch this thing or not? We were just tracking some weevils in Cardiff and I’d like to get back to it if you don’t mind”

“Oh jack, where’s the fun in that?” River asked, trying to avoid Rose too, she knew the story, and every time she thought of it, it made her saddened, especially to see the doctor, a doctor this happy, a doctor who had done many things, but had been healed by Rose, who hadn't lost another three companions, who hadn't been forced to let so many people die in his name.

“Well I know how to have a lot of fun if you care to join?”

“Oh stop it” Both ten and eleven said at the same time, it made the others laugh and jack look at them in a funny way, as though considering something. “And no jack, I’ve seen that look before, don’t go there” Eleven said, remembering the last time Jack was faced with three doctors. 

“Anyway” Gwen said, trying to diffuse the tension "should we start?"

“Sure” two thirds of the room said.

They all took seats, Eleven with River, Rory and Amy, Ten with Rose, and the Torchwood team together. As they sat down the TV turned on automatically.


	2. Rose

**OPENING CREDITS (without namees)**

“Is that what the time vortex looks like?” Rose asked Ten  
 ****  
“I’m not sure, I’ve never travelled through it other than on the inside of the TARDIS” he answered with a frown on his face  
  
“Jack would know” Eleven said, looking at Jack, who was smiling at the memory.

“Yeah” Was all he said, none of them seemed to noticed that the TV stopped as soon as they started talking. 

**_Camera pans over the planet Earth and zooms right into London. Continue zooming into Rose's alarm clock, which reads 7:30. Rose smacks it to stop it beeping and jumps out of bed._ **

“This must be when we met” Ten said grinning at Rose, who smiled back. No-one noticed the saddened look Eleven had for about a second, until he too smiled. 

**_Rose picks up her bag, gives her mother a peck on the cheek and grabs her keys.  
_ **

**ROSE:** **Bye!  
**

**JACKIE: See you later!**

**_Jackie sips her tea and picks up the phone. Rose runs down the stairs of the block of flats where she lives. Rose jumps off a bus. Rose carries a pile of clothes, looking rather bored._ _Presumably in her lunch hour, Rose and Mickey sit next to a fountain, having a laugh, eating, teasing each other and kissing. They get up to leave.  
_**

**ROSE: Bye!**

**_She is shown back in Henricks._ **

**LOUD SPEAKER:** **This is a customer announcement: the store will be closing in five minutes. Thank you.**

**_Rose is about to leave._ **

**SECURITY GUARD:** **_(hands her a package)_ ** **Oi!**

**_Rose takes the package looking non- too- happy and enters a lift._ **

Eleven, Rory and Amy all shiver, neither of them too happy about lifts at that moment.

**_When the lift pings, she alights in the basement.  
_ **

**ROSE:** **Wilson? _(goes further down the corridor)_ Wilson, I've got the lottery money. Wilson? ( _knocks on a door that says 'HP Wilson CEO')_ You there? Look, I can't hang about 'cause they're closing the shop. Wilson! _(to herself)_ Uhh, come on!  
**

“You really are impatient aren’t you” Jack asked Rose

“So would you, if you had to work all day in a shop” She said back.

**_There is a sudden sound further along the corridor. Rose immediately snaps her head in the direction it has come from.  
_ **

“And this where the danger starts” Amy said, knowing all too well

**ROSE:** **Hello? Hello, Wilson, it's Rose. Hello? Wil- Wilson?**

**_She stops outside a fire door for a moment, and then opens it, and find herself in a room that looks as though it is used for storing shop dummies. She turns the light on and walks further into the room._ **

“You really should get out of there” Ianto said

**ROSE:** **Wilson? Wilson?  
**

**_She tries another door at the side. The fire door through which she entered closes abruptly. Shocked, she runs back and shakes the handles, but they will not open. There is small sound from behind her.  
_ **

**ROSE: Is that someone mucking about? _(goes back into the room)_ Who is it? **

**_Behind her, a dummy slowly turns its head of its own accord._ **

“hah see Amy there is a reason to hate dummies” Rory said turning to Amy.

“Yeah but your excuse was that you felt like they were watching you” She answered

“They are” Rory said, not giving up.

**_Rose turns around just in time to see it step out of its alcove and towards her. She backs away slowly._ **

**ROSE:** **Heh... you got me, very funny.**

“Rose, Rose, Rose this is the part where you run” Jack said shaking his head.

“Yeah don’t worry I will soon” she said looking a ten.

**_The dummy says nothing and does not stop advancing. Two more join it._ **

**ROSE:** **Right, I've got the joke! Who's idea was this? Was it Derek's?**

**_The dummies still advance - another comes from behind.  
_ **

**ROSE:** **Derek, is this you?**

“Sounds like the joker of the group” Jack said “I like jokers” He said looking off into space as if reminiscing.

“Hem, Jack” Ianto said trying to snap him out of it.

**_All of the dummies are now alive. Rose backs up away and trips over a box. She quickly pulls herself up again and backs against a wall. The dummy lifts its arm to strike her. Rose screws her face up ready for the blow, when a hand grabs hers. Rose opens her eyes and snaps her head to look at the owner of the hand._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Run.**

“And there I am” Both Doctors say, pride in their voice.

“That’s you?” Amy asked, trying to hold back laughter.

“Yes and what’s wrong about that?” Eleven asked

“Well, it’s just you’re not exactly-” Rory trailed off not wanting to finish the sentence.

**_They run, just in time, through a fire exit. The dummies are in pursuit. The Doctor leads her into a lift. The doors close on one of the dummy's arms. The Doctor pulls it off and the doors close._ **

**ROSE:** **You pulled his arm off!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yep! _(tosses it to her)_ Plastic. **

“You have a northern accent?” Amy asks

“Lots of planets have a north” Both Doctors say.

“Oh God, that’s gonna get old” Jack said.

**ROSE:** **Very clever, nice trick! Who were they then, students? Is this a student thing or what?**

“No Rose not students, aliens, say it with me A-LIENS” Jack said a little cocky, Rose just threw a Pillow at him. 

**THE DOCTOR:** **Why would they be students?  
**

**ROSE: I don't know...  
**

**THE DOCTOR: Well, you said it! Why students?**

**ROSE:** **'Cause... to get that many people dressed up and being silly... they gotta be students. _The Doctor grins. He likes her._ **

“So you’ve impressed him, very nice, didn’t take long either” River said for the first time, she wanted to get to know Rose, she just didn’t know how.

“Thank you” Rose said, a little wary of the people from the future.

**THE DOCTOR:** **That makes sense! Well done.**

**ROSE:** **Thanks.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **They're not students.**

**ROSE:** **Whoever they are, when Wilson finds them, he's gonna call the police.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Who's Wilson?**

**ROSE:** **Chief electrician.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Wilson's dead.**

“Nice way to break it to her” Amy said slapping Elevens head

“Hey this was 6 years ago!” He said rubbing his head

“So” She said, earning laughs from the rest, Ten and Jack were thinking exactly the same thing ‘I like her’.

**_He steps out of the lift. Rose follows him._ **

**ROSE:** **That's just not funny, that's sick!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Hold on! _(pushes Rose to the side)_ Mind your eyes. **

**_He disables the lift with his sonic screwdriver._ **

**ROSE:** **I've had enough of this now!**

**_The Doctor walks off._ **

“This is so weird” Rory said

“Why?” Eleven asks

“It’s just you never shut up now” Everyone laughed and Eleven just pouted

“Ha, same with this one here” Rose said grinning at ten, who pouted as well.

**ROSE:** **Who are you, then? Who's that lot down there? I said, who are they?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **They're made of plastic. Living plastic creatures. They're being controlled by a relay device in the roof. Which would be a great big problem if I didn't have this. _(shows her an electronic device)_   So!  _(opens fire exit for Rose)_ I'm going to go up there and blow them up, and I might well die in the process. But don't worry about me, no. Go home, go on! Go and have your lovely beans on toast. **

“Beans on toast?” Amy asks the Doctor, thinking of their first meeting.

“You don’t seem to worried about me possibly dying” he answered back

“Well, you’re sitting right here, I know you don’t die” She said

**_Rose goes through the door._ **

**THE DOCTOR** **: Don't tell anyone about this, because if you do, you'll get them killed.**

“Ah the formidable warning” Jack said, “It never works you know” He asked both Doctor who just sat there thinking about all the people they couldn’t save.

**_He shuts the door. Rose turns away looking slightly bemused. It opens again._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm the Doctor, by the way, what's your name?**

**ROSE:** **Rose.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nice to meet you, Rose. Run for your life.**

“Ah how many times he says that” Rose said, Amy nodding along.

**_He shuts the door again. Rose runs. Outside, nobody knows what is going on. Rose is distracted and nearly gets herself run over by a taxi._ **

“Be careful” Ten said a little worried

“Um Doctor I’m right here” She said a little amused, everyone else just laughed as the doctor said “Oh yeah”

**TAXI DRIVER:** **Watch it!**

“See he agrees with me” Ten said, causing Rose to roll her eyes.

**_Rose proceeds to get as far away from the building as possible and looks back just in time to see the top floor blow up._ **

“You really know how to make an entrance” Jack said.

**_She runs home - past a police box._ **

“There’s my baby” Both Doctor’s said together, getting weird looks from everybody, well apart from River, she knew what he was like.

**_News 24 is on the television. Rose is sat on the sofa, watching it._ **

**REPORTER:** **The whole of Central London has been closed off as police investigate the fire. Earlier reports in the...**

**_The dummy's arm is lying on a chair. Jackie walks in holding a phone to her ear._ **

**JACKIE:** **I know, it's on the telly! It's everywhere! She's lucky to be alive!**

The Doctors laugh and ten said “Jackie, always the dramatic one” **  
**

**_(hands Rose a mug)_ Honestly, it's aged her. Skin like an old bible. **

Rose makes an involuntary movement to check her skin, something that the doctor can't help but notice, and smirks about as she realises.

**Walking in now you'd think I was HER daughter! Oh and here's himself...**

**_Mickey appears in the doorway_ **

**MICKEY:** **_(to Rose)_ ** **I've been phoning your mobile, you could've been dead! It's on the news and everything! I can't believe that your shop went up!**

**_He hugs her._ **

**ROSE:** **I'm alright, honestly, I'm fine! Don't make a fuss.**

**MICKEY:** **Well, what happened?**

**ROSE:** **I don't know!**

“There’s a lie if I’ve ever heard one” Jack said Gwen answered saying

“We did just see what happened Jack!”

**MICKEY:** **What was it though, what caused it?**

**ROSE:** **I wasn't in the shop, I was outside, I didn't see anything...**

“Do you lie a lot?” Rory asked her

“Not really why?”

Rory didn’t answer, he knew what would happen, and since Mickey wasn’t there, he knew they didn’t go back for him, like Amy and the Doctor did for him.

**JACKIE:** **_(walking in)_ ** **It's Debbie on the other end, she knows a man from the Mirror - five hundred quid for an interview!**

“She never changes” Ten said laughing at Jackie.

**ROSE:** **Oh that's brilliant! Give it here!**

**_She takes the phone and hangs it up._ **

Many people laughed and Amy was liking Rose more and more, she was still wondering why The Doctor doesn’t mention her.

**JACKIE:** **Well, you've gotta find some way of making money. Your jobs kaput and I'm not bailing you out. _(phone rings again, Jackie answers)_ Beth! She's alive! _(leaves room)_ I tell ya, sue for compensation! She was within seconds of death... **

Again more laughter “Oh Jackie!” Both Doctors say.

**MICKEY:** **What're you drinking? Tea?? No, no no, that's no good, that's no good. You're in shock, you need something stronger.**

**ROSE:** **Why?**

**MICKEY:** **You deserve a proper drink, you and me, we're going down the pub, my treat. How about it?**

**ROSE:** **_(smiling)_ ** **Is there a match on?**

“Of course” Rose said, yet again rolling her eyes.

**MICKEY:** **I'm just thinking about you, babe!**

“Oh Mickey” Ten said, chuckling slightly

**ROSE:** **There's a match on, ain't there.**

**MICKEY:** **Well, that's not the point. We could catch the last five minutes.**

**ROSE:** **Go on then. I'm fine, really. Go. Get rid of that...**

**_She gestures to the dummy's arm. Mickey points to his lips. Rose gives him a kiss. He pushes her back onto the chair and they laugh. He gets up to go and Rose puts a leg out to trip him up. Mickey picks up the arm and waves with it._ **

**MICKEY:** **Buh Bye!**

**ROSE:** **Bye!**

**_Mickey pretends to strangle himself with the arm and leaves. Rose shakes her head fondly and turns her attention back to the news._ **

**REPORTER:** **...fire then spread throughout the store... there is very little chance of saving the infrastructure...**

“Wow when you want to destroy something, you really go about it” Gwen said turning to both Doctors. Who just smiled.

**_Outside, Mickey tosses the arm into a bin as he walks past it. Zoom into the darkness of the bin..._ ** **_Shows red alarm clock, which goes off, Rose whacks it and stops it, then sits up._**

**JACKIE:** **_(in background)_ ** **There's no point in getting up, sweetheart. You've got no job to go to. _Rose flops back on her pillow._**

**_Rose is having breakfast, her mother is talking to her._ **

**JACKIE:** **There's Finches... you could try them. They've always got jobs.**

**ROSE:** **Oh, great. The butchers.**

“Urgh, yeah I couldn’t work there either” Amy said slightly green.

**JACKIE:** **Well it might do you good! That shop was giving you airs and graces. And I'm not joking about getting compensation - you've had genuine shock and trauma! Arianna got two thousand quid off the council just because the old man behind the desk said she looked Greek! I know she IS Greek, but that's not the point - it's a valid claim.**

**_Rose hears a rattling and stands up._ **

**ROSE:** **Mum, you're such a liar, I told you to nail that cat flap down. We're going to get strays! JACKIE: I did it weeks back!**

**ROSE:** **No, you thought about it!**

**_Rose discovers that the screws have fallen out onto the floor. The cat flap moves violently. Rose leaps backwards, then comes back again and pokes the cat flap open gingerly. The Doctor's face is right outside it. Rose gasps and opens the door._ **

“And I’m back!” Both Doctors said, and they both got up and high fived.

“Did, you just…high five yourself?” Amy asked a little confused.

“Well no one else will!” they said unison grinning.

**THE DOCTOR:** **What're you doing here?**

**ROSE:** **I live here.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, what do you do that for?**

**ROSE:** **Because I do! And I'm only at home because someone blew up my job.**

**_The Doctor gets out his sonic screwdriver._ **

“Wait it’s different!” Amy said a bit shocked

“What is?” Ten asked her

“The screwdriver, it’s like green now”

“Yeah I had to change it” Eleven said a little sad

“Oh no not the sonic screwdriver, I love my Sonic screwdriver” Ten said pouting.

“Erm Doctor”

“Yeah yeah”

**THE DOCTOR:** **Must've got the wrong signal. You're not plastic, are you? _(knocks on Rose's forehead)_ No, bonehead. Bye, then! **

**_He makes to go, but Rose pulls him back inside._ **

**ROSE:** **You, inside. Right now.**

**_She shuts the door._ **

**JACKIE:** **Who is it?**

**_Rose pokes her head into Jackie's bedroom._ **

**ROSE:** **It's about last night, he's part of the inquiry. Give us 10 minutes.**

**JACKIE:** **She deserves compensation.**

“Compensation again?” Gwen asked a little bemused

“Yeah, she’s always on about money” Rose said, grinning.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Huh, we're talking millions.**

**_The Doctor leans against the doorframe, waiting for Rose to come back. Jackie looks at him for a moment and stands up, flirtatiously._ **

“Oh God no, she didn’t?” Rose asked ten

“Yeah” Ten said a little ill

“EW so wrong!”

**JACKIE:** **I'm in my dressing gown.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes, you are.**

**JACKIE:** **There's a strange man in my bedroom.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes, there is.**

**JACKIE:** **Well, anything could happen.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No.**

**_The Doctor walks off. Jackie pulls a face at his back._ **

“Haha way to piss of the mum!” Jack said laughing

“That’s so wrong” Amy said thinking about how she kissed the doctor

“You should know” Eleven whispered to her and she too, looked ill.

**ROSE:** **Don't mind the mess. Do you want a coffee?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Might as well, thanks! Just milk.**

**_Rose goes into the kitchen and starts making coffee._ **

**ROSE:** **We should go to the police. Seriously. Both of us.**

**_The Doctor picks up a gossip magazine._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **That won't last, he's gay and she's an alien.**

“Who is?” Amy asked then looking at the amused look on Elevens face said “Never mind” and sank back into the chair.

**ROSE:** **I'm not blaming you, even if it was just some sort of joke that went wrong.**

**_The Doctor picks up a book and flicks through it._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Sad ending.**

**ROSE:** **They said on the news they'd found a body.**

**_The Doctor picks up an envelope and reads it._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Rose Tyler. _(looks in mirror)_ Ahh, could've been worse! _(prods his large ears)_ Look at me' ears. **

“They are pretty big” Rory said

Both Doctors looked offended and said “Hey!” The rest of the room just laughed.

**ROSE:** **All the same, he was nice. Nice bloke.**

**_The Doctor shuffles a pack of cards._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Luck be a lady!**

**ROSE:** **Well anyway if we are going to go to the police, I want to know what I'm saying.**

“Wow your worse than Gwen when she found out” Ianto said, not cringing at Gwen’s glare.

**_The Doctor shuffles the cards again and manages to make them all go flying._ **

“Nice hands” River said winking towards eleven who answered “You should know”

Rose and Ten were looking on interested, while Rory and Amy were slightly green.

**ROSE:** **I want you to explain everything.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(of the cards)_ ** **Maybe not. _(hears scuffling from behind sofa)_ What's that then? You got a cat? **

**ROSE:** **No...**

**_The Doctor leans behind the sofa and the dummy's arm leaps out and grabs him by the neck._ ** **ROSE:** **_(wandering in with coffee)_ ** **We did have, but there's these strays, they come in off the estate...**

**_Behind her, the Doctor is being strangled viciously by the hand while he tries vainly to fight it off. She does not quite seem to register that the Doctor is being harassed by a rubber hand._ **

**ROSE:** **I told Mickey to chuck that out...**

**_She puts the coffee down on the table._ **

**ROSE:** **Honestly, give a man a plastic hand...**

“It doesn’t really look like he’s faking”

“What was I meant to think Jack?” Rose asked raising an eyebrow.

**anyway, I don't even know your name, Doctor... what was it? _The Doctor throws the hand off and it flies across the room attaching itself to Rose's face. She screams and the Doctor leaps up and tries to pull it off. Jackie is drying her hair, completely oblivious._**

“Oblivious as always” Ten said grinning, Jackie really was something different.

**_The Doctor and Rose crash onto the coffee table, breaking it, and roll onto the floor._ **

“Oh-err” Jack said (No surprises there) earning a smack in the head from Gwen, who got a grateful smile from Rose.

**_The Doctor pushes her back onto the sofa and gets out his sonic screwdriver, disabling the hand._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's alright, I've stopped it. There you go, you see? _(tosses it to her)_ 'Armless. **

“You really need to work on your jokes” Rory said and the Doctor answered

“Ha, you could talk”

**ROSE:** **Do you think?**

**_She uses it to whack him on the shoulder._ **

Everybody laughed apart from The Doctors who just pouted.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Ow!**

“What? It hurt” Ten said to Rose who was laughing.

**_The Doctor is running down the stairs, Rose hot on his tail._ **

**ROSE:** **Hold on a minute, you can't just go swanning off.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes I can. Here I am, this is me, swanning off. See ya!**

**ROSE:** **That arm was moving, it tried to kill me!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Ten out of ten for observation.**

**ROSE:** **You can't just walk away, that's not fair! You've got to tell me what's going on.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No I don't.**

**_They reach the bottom of the stairs, go through the doors._ **

**ROSE:** **Alright then. I'll go to the police. I'll tell everyone. You said, if I did that, I'd get people killed. So, your choice. Tell me, or I'll start talking.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Is that supposed to sound tough?**

**ROSE:** **Sort of.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Doesn't work.**

**ROSE:** **Who are you?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I told you! The Doctor.**

**ROSE:** **Yeah. But Doctor what?**

“At least you didn’t say Doctor Who” Eleven said a little relieved, he got weird looks apart from the obvious who were just rolling their eyes.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Just the Doctor.**

**ROSE:** **The Doctor.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Hello!**

**ROSE:** **Is that supposed to sound impressive?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Sort of.**

**ROSE:** **Come on. You can tell me. I've seen enough. Are you the police?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No. I was just passing through. I'm a long way from home.**

**ROSE:** **But what have I done wrong? How comes those plastic things keep coming after me?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh! Suddenly the entire world revolves around you! You were just an accident, you got in the way, that's all.**

**ROSE:** **It tried to kill me!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It was after me, not you! Last night, in the shop, I was there, you blundered it. Almost ruined the whole thing. This morning, I was tracking it down, it was tracking me down... the only reason it fixed on you is that you met me.**

**ROSE:** **So, what you're saying is, the entire world revolves around you.**

“Pretty much, yeah” Ten said cheekily while Rose laughed punching him lightly on the arm.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Sort of, yeah.**

**ROSE:** **You're full of it!**

“Not as much as he is now” Both Amy and Rose said at the same time. The both looked at each other in awe and laughed. Eleven was really happy that they were getting along; he shuddered every time he thought of how Rose and Sarah Jane started out.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Sort of, yeah.**

**ROSE:** **But, all this plastic stuff - who else knows about it?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No one.**

**ROSE:** **What, you're on your own?**

“No-one’s going to believe him are they?” Ianto asked, he then continued “I mean could you imagine going to the police saying that there’s plastic walking around, isn’t exactly going to work”

“Um you do realise this was a year and half ago right?” Rose asked him.

“Yeah, but I just thought I’d make a point.” He told her, as jack looked at hi  smiling.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, who else is there? I mean, you lot, all you do is eat chips, go to bed, and watch telly! When all the time, underneath you, there's a war going on!**

“True” Both Doctor’s said, no-one could be bothered to tell them they were agreeing with themselves. **_Rose takes the arm off him._**

**ROSE:** **Okay, start from the beginning.**

**_They exit the road_ **

**ROSE** **: If you're gonna go with this living plastic, and I don't even believe that, but if we do... how did you kill it?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **The thing controlling it projects life into the arm. I cut off the signal, dead. ROSE: So that's radio control?**

“Good guess” River told Rose as she smiled. Rose didn’t know why, but she liked having her approval, even though they had never met before.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Thought control.  
 _There was silence._**

**_THE DOCTOR:_ ** **Are you alright?**

**ROSE:** **Yeah. So, who's controlling it, then?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Long story.**

**ROSE:** **But what's it all for? I mean, shop window dummies... what's that about? Is someone trying to take over Britain's shops?**

Many giggled, even Gwen, which Ianto thought was a surprise, he had seen her laugh, but never giggle.

**_They laugh._ **

“Nice giggle you got there” Amy said turning to eleven, but she couldn’t help but also look at ten as she said it.

**THE DOCTOR:** **No.**

**ROSE:** **I know.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's not a price war.**

More laughter, “Your making it sound like Asda VS. Tescos’” Rory told both Doctors.

“What?” Ten asked, eleven answered him by saying,

“Adverts, you know them annoying things that go in-between Television?”

“Wait you watch telly?” Rose asked him amused

“Yeah” he answered “Well, I say watch it’s more like flick through the channels, I once got into a show where these different people go over to each other’s houses and eat dinner, and judge them, and then there’s things like I’m a celebrity where they have to do these horrible tasks, I heard they tried to introduce that to Raxacoricofallapatorius once. And you can’t get better than Merlin, of course I knew Merlin and it was nothing like that, but still.” He then realised everyone was laughing at him, apart from ten who for once was speechless.

“HA, you watch TV, never thought I’d see the day” Rose teased ten.

“Please, please stop, It’s worse than, getting a mortgage, what happened?” He asked pleadingly to eleven. Everyone was laughing really hard at tens expressions, it was once of bewilderment, disgust and surprise.

“These two happened” Eleven said trying to blame Rory & Amy” Who looked shocked, then started laughing still not getting over the doctor liking ‘Come Dine with me.’ Once it had calmed down and everyone had at least stopped laughing at the doctor’s, who were of course, pouting, the TV began to play again.

**_(laugh again - suddenly serious)_ ** **They want to overthrow the human race and destroy you. Do you believe me?**

“HAHA, just like you a nice joke then, you’re gonna die!” Jack laughed, still in very high spirits.

**ROSE:** **No.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **But you're still listening.**

**_She stops. The Doctor walks on._ **

**ROSE:** **Really though, Doctor. Tell me - who are you?**

“I’m a 900 year old time lord who runs across the universe getting into trouble, even though I don’t meant, to oh, and I have to keep saving the human race and you are?” Ten said as eleven repeated what he said to Amy saying, “I’m a mad man with a blue box”. Everyone laughed and ten said “I’m using that.” Which just confused everyone, did he just steal his own line, from himself, and use what his future self said, in the future?

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(stops)_ ** **Do you know like we were saying? About the Earth revolving? _(walks back to her)_ It's like when you were a kid. The first time they tell you the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it. _(takes her hand)_ The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtling around the sun at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me. Clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go...  _(lets go of her hand)_ That's who I am. Now, forget me, Rose Tyler. _(takes the arm, waves it in her face)_ Go home. **

“Your very dramatic aren’t you?” Ianto asked the Doctors who nodded.

"Must be weird though" Amy said "Feeling that all of the time" Again, both of the doctors nodded.

“How do you not get sick?” Rory asked the doctor’s, making everyone laugh.

**_He walks away. Rose watches his retreating back and then starts to walk herself. The Doctor steps into a police box. Rose hears the sound of the TARDIS departing. She runs back as fast as she can. The police box is gone. She shields her eyes from the sun, looks around her, then walks away again. Outside Mickeys flat, Mickey lets Rose in._ **

**MICKEY:** **Yahey, there's my woman! _(slaps her bum)_ Kit off! **

“Didn’t know he had it in him” Jack said, grinning. Ianto just stared at him, was he jealous?

**ROSE:** **Shut up. _(he gives her a kiss)_ Mwah! **

**MICKEY:** **Coffee?**

**ROSE:** **Yeah, only if you wash the mug. And I don't mean rinse, I mean wash. Can I use your computer?**

**MICKEY:** **Yeah. Any excuse to get in the bedroom.**

**_Mickey goes into the kitchen. Rose closes the door of his bedroom behind her._ **

**MICKEY:** **Don't read my emails!**

“We all know what he’s hiding in them” jack said laughing.

“JACK” Rose shouted and walked over and slapped him on the back of the head, he didn’t look bothered though.

**_Shows Rose on Mickey’s computer._ **

“His room is a pig stye!” Eleven said

“You could talk Mr, ‘I’ll clean the TARDIS once we’ve visited Blah Blah Blah’ Honestly, your worse than a kid” The doctor just looke don , acting as though he didn’t hear here. “I rest my case”

**_Rose turns on the computer and types "Doctor" into a search engine. No relevant results are found. She types in "Doctor Living Plastic". Still nothing. She types "Doctor Blue Box". The first result reads "Doctor Who - do you know this man? Contact Clive here..." She clicks on it and a webpage with a blurry photograph of the Doctor and the words "Have you seen this man? Contact Clive" are presented to her. She clicks "Contact Clive". Mickey and Rose are sitting in the car._ **

**ROSE:** **You're not coming in! He's safe, he's got a wife and kids.**

**MICKEY:** **Yeah but who told you that? He did. That's exactly what an Internet lunatic murderer _would_ say. **

“He’s right” Ten told her, and she just shrugged her shoulders.

**_Rose gets out of the car anyway, grinning. Mickey doesn't look too happy, and gives a man putting out his rubbish the evils. Rose knocks on the door of a house and it is answered by a boy of about 11._ **

**ROSE:** **Uh, hello, I've come to see Clive? We've been emailing.**

**CLIVE'S SON:** **Dad! It's one of your nutters!**

“Ha knew there was something" the doctor told Rose who just stuck out he tongue.

**_Clive appears._ **

**CLIVE:** **Sorry. Hello. You must be Rose. I'm Clive. Obviously!**

**ROSE:** **I better tell you now - my boyfriend's waiting in the car, just in case you're going to kill me!**

**_They laugh._ **

**CLIVE:** **No, good point. No murders.**

**_He waves to Mickey who nods, still distrustful._ **

“He never

**CAROLINE:** **Who is it?**

**CLIVE:** **Oh it's something to do with the Doctor! She's been reading the website. Please come through, I'm in the shed.**

**_Clive's wife, Caroline, comes down the stairs carrying a washing basket._ **

**CAROLINE:** **She? She read a website about the Doctor? She's a she?**

“Weird seems they’ve only had men, that tells us something about you doctor” Jack said wiggling his eye brows.

**_She smiles ironically and shuts the door. Mickey looks suspicious. Clive is showing Rose around the shed, which is a sort of shrine to the Doctor._ **

“Bit obsessed isn’t he?” Jack asked amused.

“Lots of people are” Ten said, eleven then said, “I mean we’re good looking, charming..” Ten carried on “Interesting, good sense of fashion, although still not sure about the bow tie, from a different planet…” eleven finished “And we travel through time and space, I mean frankly, who wouldn’t like us?” He asked, the amused people in the room, River couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

“You’re modest too” Jack added, chuckling slightly.

**CLIVE:** **A lot of this stuff's quite sensitive, I couldn't just send it to you. People might intercept it, if you know what I mean. If you dig deep enough - keep a lively mind - this Doctor keeps cropping up all over the place. Political diaries, conspiracy theories. Even ghost stories. No first name, no last name. Just 'The Doctor'. Always The Doctor. And the title seems to have been passed down from father to son, it appears to be an inheritance. That's your Doctor there, isn't it?**

**_He points to a photo of the Doctor on a computer screen behind them._ **

**ROSE:** **Yeah.**

**CLIVE:** **I tracked it down to the Washington public archive last year. The online photo's enhanced, but if we look at the original...**

**_He shows Rose some photographs of the Doctor standing in a crowd at the time and place of the assassination of JFK._ **

**CLIVE:** **November the 22nd, 1963. The assassination of President Kennedy.**

“Oh I remember that, a little trouble with an alien who wanted to stop it, had to stop him of course, it’s a fixed point in time and space, still haven’t figured out why he wanted to stop it” Ten told the room, eleven nodding along.

**ROSE:** **Must be his father...**

**CLIVE:** **Going further back... April 1912. _(brings over a photo album)_ This is a photo of the Daniels family, Southampton. And friend. _(points to the Doctor, standing with them)_ This was taken the day before they were due to sail off for the New World. On the Titanic. And for some unknown reason, they cancelled the trip and survived. **

The doctors began whistling innocently, while river scolded them, mentally shouting at eleven. She didn’t though, she thought it would be best for the others to try to figure who she was out. At least she had something over him, she did not go all of this time being told off about fixed points in time and space to not have something on the doctor.

**And... _(shows her a sketch)_ 1883\. Another Doctor. And look - the same lineage. He's identical. This one washed up on the coast of Sumatra on the very day Krakatoa exploded. The Doctor is a legend woven throughout history. When disaster comes, he's there. He has a storm in his wake. And he has one constant companion. **

Said companions smiled, along with both doctor’s.

**ROSE:** **Who's that?**

**CLIVE:** **Death.**

Their smiles faltered and both Doctor’s expressions turned automatically stony.

**_Mickey is still waiting outside in his car. He looks around as a bin starts to shuffle its way towards him. Goes back to Clive and Rose._ **

**CLIVE:** **If the Doctor's back... if you've seen him, Rose... then one thing's for certain - we're all in danger.**

**_Mickey looks at the bin again, but it is stationary. A few seconds later, it starts moving again. He gets out of the car and walks to the bin, looking around it to see what is moving it. Seeing nothing, he places both hands on the lid and opens it dramatically._ **

“Oh Mickey” Ten said shaking his head, only he could do something like that.

“Who puts the music with this, I mean I’m certain music doesn’t follow you around” Rory asked, and everyone shrugged.

**MICKEY:** **Come on then!**

**_The bin is empty. Shows shed again._ **

**CLIVE:** **If he's singled you out... if the Doctor's making house calls... then God help you. _Mickey shuts the bin, confused. He tries to walk away but his hands are stuck to the bin. When he tries to pull away, the bin stretches and won't let him. Eventually, the bin opens its lid and pulls him in backwards, shutting with a satisfied burp._ **

“Okay then” it was of course Ianto, torchwood had never dealt with anything like that.

**ROSE:** **Who is he? Who do you think he is?**

**CLIVE:** **I think he's the same man. I think he's immortal. I think he's an alien from another world.**

“He is the only one who’s gotten close, too bad nobody believes him, well, I say too bad” Ten said, moving his head from left to right as he did.

**_Rose comes back to the car, talking before she's even got in._ **

**ROSE:** **Alright! He's a nutter! Off his head! COMPLETE online conspiracy freak. You win! Oof.**

**_She gets into the car. The person sitting at the wheel is obviously not Mickey, but a plastic replica of him. Rose seems not to notice._ **

**ROSE:** **What're we going to do tonight? I fancy a pizza.**

**MICKEY:** **Pizzaaa! P-p-p-pizza!**

“Okay, how could you not have noticed a difference?” Jack asked Rose who just shrugged.

**ROSE:...** **or a Chinese...**

**MICKEY:** **Pizza!**

**_They drive off in a wobbly line._ **

“I repeat, How did you not notice?”

“I dunno I just didn’t, Mickey can act like an idiot sometimes” She rounded on the Doctor as he laughed after she said ‘act’, “And you, how many times to I tell you to leave him alone?” She asks ten.

**_Rose and Mickey sit at a table for two in a restaurant._ **

**ROSE:** **Do you think I should try the hospital? Suki said they had a few jobs going in the canteen. That's it then... dishing out chips... I could do A Levels...**

“I’d love to see you as a dinner lady” Ten snorted at the thought

“Oh haha” she said sarcastically.

**_'Mickey' stares at her, grinning._ **

“You gotta admit, he looks like a psychopath” Jack said to Rose, yet again.

“Alright Jack, I was pretty oblivious, we got it” she said, getting annoyed.

**ROSE:** **I dunno. It's all Jimmy Stone's fault. I only left school because of him, and look where he ended up. What do you think?**

**PLASTIC MICKEY:** **So, where did you meet this Doctor?**

**ROSE:** **I'm sorry, wasn't I talking about me for a second?**

“A bit self-centred don’t ya think?” Jack asked Rose just shot him a glare; it was like he was purposefully trying to annoy her. Little did she know he was. He was trying to get her mad so the doctor could defend her, and hopefully start realising his feelings. I mean it was so obvious that they liked each other.

**PLASTIC MICKEY:** **Because, I reckon it started back at the shop, am I right? Is he something to do with that?**

**ROSE:** **No...**

**PLASTIC MICKEY:** **Come on.**

**ROSE:** **Sort of.**

**PLASTIC MICKEY:** **What was he doing there?**

**ROSE:** **I'm not going on about him, Mickey, I'm not, because, I know it sounds daft but... I don't think he's safe. I think he's dangerous.**

“Yet we all go running of with him” River said to Rose, who nodded a little flabbergasted, she knew river knew the doctor, but was she like her and Amy, another companion. Questions seemed to surround this mysterious woman, and Rose wanted to find out who she was. Could she could tell she was more than just a friend to the doctor, even if she didn’t talk much.

**PLASTIC MICKEY:** **But you can trust me sweetheart! _(in quick succession)_ Babe, sugar, darling, sugar.**

**_Rose looks confused._ **

**PLASTIC MICKEY:** **You can tell me anything. Tell me about the Doctor and what he's planning, and I can help you, Rose. Because that's all I really wanna do, sweetheart, babe, sugar, sweetheart.**

**ROSE:** **What're you doing that for?**

**_A Waiter approaches the table._ **

**WAITER:** **Your champagne.**

**PLASTIC MICKEY:** **We didn't order any champagne. _(grabs Rose's hand)_ Where's the Doctor? _The Waiter has simply moved to the other side of the table and holds the bottle out to Rose._**

**WAITER:** **Ma'am. Your champagne.**

**ROSE:** **It's not ours... Mickey, what is it? What's wrong?**

**MICKEY:** **I need to find out how much you know, so where is he?**

**WAITER:** **Doesn't anybody want this champagne?**

“Bit persistent aren’t you?” Amy asked eleven who just smiled.

**_Mickey, exasperated, raises his eyes to the waiter for the first time._ **

**PLASTIC MICKEY:** **Look, we didn't order i-- _(the Waiter is in fact, the Doctor)_ Ah. Gotcha. **

**_The Doctor shakes the bottle._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Don't mind me. I'm just toasting the happy couple. On the house!**

**_The cork pops out and hits Mickey squarely on the forehead. His forehead absorbs the cork and he spits it out of his mouth. It is finally revealed to Rose that Mickey has in fact been replaced with an Auton._ **

**PLASTIC MICKEY:** **Anyway.**

**_His hands turn into clubs and he smashes the table in. Rose screams and runs out of the way. The Doctor grabs the Auton's head and pulls it off._ **

“That’s a bit mean, think of how the plastic feels” Rory said to ten.

“What?”

“He has plastic issues, let’s just leave it at that” Amy told him still thinking about the time her husband was plastic.

**PLASTIC MICKEY:** **Don't think that's gonna stop me.**

**_A couple at a nearby table scream, but the Doctor grins. Rose presses the fire bell._ **

“Smart move” Jack told her, nodding her way. “Not what I would’ve done, but smart move”

“Oh and what would you have done?” River asked in a flirtatious tone.

“Shot my gun in the air” He told her

“Haha same here”

“Oh god there’s two of them, this is really bad” Gwen told the rest of the room who nodded, eleven looked a teeny bit jealous, something that didn’t go unnoticed by jack, who winked at him.

**ROSE:** **Everyone out! Out now!**

**_Everyone runs for the exit. The Auton stays inside, blindly smashing tables with his club-hands._ **

**ROSE:** **Get out! Get out! Get out!**

**_Rose and the Doctor run through the kitchen and out of a back exit. With the Auton in hot pursuit. The Doctor locks a metal door with his sonic screwdriver while Rose tries desperately to find an escape out of the yard they are in. She bangs desperately at some locked gates._ **

**ROSE:** **Open the gate! Use that tube thing, come on!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **What, this? This is a sonic screwdriver.**

Ten nods and adds “My partner in crime” taking his screwdriver out a looking at it fondly, “Can’t believe I lose her” he said sadly. Rose just rolls her eyes and Amy and Rory look at the two different doctors, and start thinking about how different they are.

**ROSE:** **Use it!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nah. Tell ya what, let's go in here.**

“Please tell me it’s a good reaction” Jack asks the doctor. Who just chuckles. Gwen and Ianto give him questioning looks and he answers “You’ll see”

**_He approaches a police box in the middle of the yard and unlocks it. The Auton is beginning to make dents in the door from the other side. Rose runs to look at it._ **

**ROSE:** **We can't hide inside a wooden box! _(runs to the gate and rattles the chains)_ It's gonna get us! Doctor! **

**_She runs into the police box. Rose slams the door behind her, takes a few steps in, looks around, then runs straight back out again. She walks once around the police box and arrives back at the front again._ **

“Haha, amazing!” Jack said, and the rest laugh, even Rose.

**_The Auton finally makes a hole in the door, so she runs back into the police box._ **

**ROSE :** **It's gonna follow us!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **The assembled hoards of Genghis Khan couldn't get through that door, and believe me, they've tried. Now, shut up a minute.**

Amy yet again slaps the Doctor around the head “Stop being rude” Eleven and ten rub their heads, even though she only slapped ten. Rose just laughs.

**_Rose stands trembling near the door of the TARDIS, looking around at how huge it is compared with the outside. The Doctor is wiring up the head of the Auton._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **You see, the arm is too simple, but the head's perfect.**

**_Rose still looks overwhelmed._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I can use it to trace the signal back to the original source. Right. _(turns to Rose, gives her his full attention)_ Where do you want to start? **

**ROSE:** **Um... the inside's bigger than the outside?**

“All the time” both the doctors say, shaking their heads. Gwen and Ianto are still surprised about the TARDIS.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes.**

**ROSE:** **It's alien.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yup.**

**ROSE:** **Are you alien?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes. _(Rose stares)_ Is that alright? **

**ROSE:** **_(quickly)_ ** **Yeah.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's called the TARDIS, this thing. T-A-R-D-I-S, that's Time And Relative Dimension In Space.**

“Of course our doctor has another name” Rory said laughing with Amy, the doctor just pouted and ignored all of the looks. Ten hoped they didn’t mean what he thought they meant.

**_(a small sob from Rose)_ **

Rose looked a bit embarrassed but nobody cared.

**That's okay. Culture shock. Happens to the best of us.**

**ROSE:** **Did they kill him? Mickey? Did they kill Mickey? Is he dead?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh... didn't think of that.**

**ROSE:** **He's my boyfriend. You pulled off his head - they copied him and you didn't even think? And now you're just going to let him melt?!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Melt? _(turns around in time to see 'Mickey's' head melting with a bubbling noise)_ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh, no no no no no NO!**

“I’m guessing that’s not because you think you just killed him?” Jack asked yet again. The doctors just ignored.

**_He starts running frantically around the console, pressing buttons and pulling levers._ **

**ROSE:** **What're you doing?!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Reviving the signal, it's fading! Wait I've got it... _(looks at screen)_ No No No No No No NO! _(The TARDIS shakes as the engines move)_ Almost there! Almost there! Here we go! _The engines stop and the Doctor runs out the TARDIS doors without another word._**

**ROSE:** **You can't go out there, it's not safe!**

**_She follows him outside._ **

“That was a shock” Rose told them matter-of-factly, and Amy and Rory nodded together.

**THE DOCTOR:** **I lost the signal, I got _so_ close. **

**_Rose hops out of the TARDIS, looking confused again._ **

**ROSE:** **We've moved! Does it fly?**

“No although there was that one time…” Eleven trailed off thinking about Donna.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Disappears there, reappears here, you wouldn't understand.**

**ROSE:** **But if we're somewhere else, what about that headless thing? It's still on the loose.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It melted with the head, are you going to witter on all night?**

**ROSE:** **I'll have to tell his mother...**

**_The Doctor looks at her questioningly._ **

**ROSE:** **Mickey! I'll have to tell his mother he's dead, and you just went and forgot him, again!**

**_The Doctor rolls his eyes, unconcerned._ **

“You’ve changed, a lot” Amy whispers to eleven.

“Yeah, someone changed me” He looks over to Rose who was talking to ten aswell.

It just so happens they were having the same conversation. River is also happy that he’s changed, and that let’s face it, he’s no longer like that, doesn’t look like the man can flirt to save his life, she thought.

**ROSE:** **You were right, you ARE alien.**

**_She turns to walk away._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Look, if I did forget some kid called Mickey—**

**ROSE:** **Yeah, he's not a kid.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's because I'm trying to save the life of every _stupid_ ape blundering on top of this planet, alright?? **

**ROSE:** **Alright!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes! It is!**

**_Rose shakes her head disbelievingly._ **

**ROSE:** **If you are an alien, then how comes you sound like you're from the North?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Lots of planets have a North.**

The doctor’s nod, and River rolls her eyes, knowing he puts _some_ accents on.

**_He folds his arms indignantly and looks away._ **

**ROSE:** **What's a police public call box?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's a telephone box from the 1950s. _(pats the TARDIS fondly, grinning)_ It's a disguise.**

“You know you can fix that Chameleon Circuit If you just try hot wiring the fragment links..”

They both interrupted her and said “We know” and ten added “I love it like that”

**_Rose smiles and shakes her head._ **

**ROSE:** **Okay. And this living plastic, what's it got against us?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nothing, it loves you. You've got such a good planet. Lots of smoke and oil, plenty of toxins and dioxins in the air... perfect. Just what the Nestene Consciousness needs. It's food stock was destroyed in the war, all its protein plants rotted, so Earth... dinner!**

**ROSE:** **Any way of stopping it?**

**_Grinning, the Doctor produces a tube of blue liquid from his jacket._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Anti-plastic!**

“Anti-plastic?” Amy asked eleven who just nodded as if it was obvious.

**ROSE:** **Anti-plastic...**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Anti-plastic! But first I've got to find it. How can you hide something that big in a city this small?**

**ROSE:** **Hold on... hide what?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **The transmitter. The Consciousness is controlling every single piece of plastic so it needs a transmitter to boost the signal.**

**ROSE:** **What's it look like?**

“Probably round, really big, metal, it will have to be there…oh” She knowing what it was, others just looked confused while Rose laughed. The doctor’s just sulked; they would’ve gotten it sooner if they were facing it.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Like a transmitter. Round and massive, slap bang in the middle of London.**

**_He paces around, agitated, looking around for a clue._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **A huge circular metal structure... like a dish...**

**_He stands facing Rose, his back to the railings of the bridge. Behind him, the London Eye looms 450 foot above them, but he doesn't seem to register._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **...like a wheel. Close to where we're standing. Must be COMPLETELY invisible.**

The others just started laughing looking at the London eye.

**_Rose considers the Eye behind him._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **What?**

**_Rose nods towards the Eye. The Doctor turns around, then back to her, completely nonplussed._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **What?**

More laughter as the Doctor’s pouted again, seriously! they both thought.

**_Rose shakes her head, looking at the Eye still. He turns around but still fails to make the connection._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **What is it? What?**

“Looks like Rose isn’t the only clueless one” Jack said grinning at the pouting Doctor’s.

**_Rose simply carries on staring at it. The Doctor turns around again and finally, it clicks._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh... fantastic!**

Both Doctor’s sat up straight and said “FANTASTIC” together, laughing with Rose and Jack. The other’s, even River, just looked confused.

**_He grins inanely and runs off. Hand in hand, the Doctor and Rose run across London Bridge towards the Eye. They come to a halt at the foot of the Eye._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Think of it. Plastic, all over the world. Every artificial thing waiting to come alive. The shop window dummies, the phones, the wires, the cables...**

Rory is still thinking about being plastic for 2000 years _(A/N was it 200 years?)._

**ROSE:** **The breast implants**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Still, we've found the transmitter. The Consciousness must be somewhere underneath.**

**_Rose runs off and finds the entrance to a manhole at the foot of the wall she is looking over._ **

**ROSE:** **What about down here?**

**_The Doctor runs to join her._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Looks good to me.**

**_They run down the stairs to the manhole. The Doctor takes the lid off it, and red light and smoke pours out. They both climb down the ladder underground. The Doctor opens the door to another chamber and they go down some steps. The Doctor points to a huge, orange, wobbling mass in the middle of the chamber._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **The Nestene Consciousness, that's it, inside the vat. A living, plastic creature.**

**ROSE:** **Well, then. Tip in your anti-plastic and let's go.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm not here to kill it. I've got to give it a chance.**

The doctor’s nodded, everyone deserves a chance.

**_They go down some more steps. The Doctor leans over the railings and addresses the Consciousness._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I seek audience with the Nestene Consciousness under peaceful contract. According to convention 15 of the Shadow Proclamation. _The Consciousness flobbles around a bit._**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Thank you. That I might have permission to approach.**

**_Meanwhile, as Rose paces around in the background, she spots Mickey and runs to him. The Doctor rolls his eyes._ **

“What did you have against him?” Jack asked the doctor.

“I thought he was an idiot” He answered.

**ROSE:** **Oh, my God! Mickey! It's okay! It's alright!**

**_She squats down next to him._ **

**MICKEY:** **That thing down there, the liquid, Rose - it can talk!**

“Okay, at the start he seems like an idiot” Jack said agreeing with the doctor, who just nods.

**ROSE:** **You're stinking! Doctor, they kept him alive!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yeah, that was always a possibility. Keep him alive to maintain the copy.**

**ROSE:** **You knew that and you never said?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Can we keep the domestics outside, thank you?**

“Doctor what is it with you always hating the men?” Rory asked, thinking of how The Doctor first treated him. Eleven shrugged, he was thinking about how his previous self was going to react to Rose’s departure, he couldn’t imagine Amy and Rory’s reactions, the only person he’d ever tell, and probably does in the future, is River.

**_Rose helps Mickey to his feet. The Doctor approaches the Consciousness._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Am I addressing the Consciousness? Thank you. If I might observe, you infiltrated this civilization by means of warped, shunt technology. So, may I suggest, with the greatest respect, that you shunt off?**

**_The plastic globbers in what appears to be a negative manner._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh don't give me that, it's an invasion! Plain and simple! Don't talk about constitutional rights!**

**_The plastic rears what would appear to be its head angrily._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I - am - talking!**

“Ooo I love an angry doctor, always much more dramatic” Jack told the room.

River added “and sexier” causing both doctors to turn bright red, Rory to turn green, again, and the rest to laugh.

“Can’t disagree with you there” He told her.

**This planet is just starting. These stupid little people have only just learnt how to walk, but they're capable of so much more. I'm asking you on their behalf - please, just go.**

**_Two Autons approach the Doctor from behind._ **

**ROSE:** **Doctor!**

**_The Autons grab him. One of them takes the anti-plastic out of his jacket pocket._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **That was just insurance! I wasn't going to USE it.**

“Sure you weren’t” Some said.

**_The plastic globbers angrily._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I was not attacking you. I'm here to help. I'm not your enemy. I swear, I'm not... what do you mean?**

**_Doors above him open to reveal the TARDIS._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh, oh no - honestly, no! Yes, that's my ship.**

**_The plastic roars._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's not true. I should know, I was there. I fought in the war - it wasn't my fault! I couldn't save your world! I couldn't save any of them!**

The doctor’s looked down sad, thinking of everyone they couldn’t save.

**ROSE:** **What's it doing?!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's the TARDIS! The Nestene has identified its superior technology - it's terrified! It's going to the final base. It's starting the invasion! Get out, Rose! Just leg it! Now!**

**_Rose dials a number on her mobile._ **

**ROSE:** **Mum?!**

**_Jackie is going down the steps of a police station._ **

**JACKIE:** **Oh, there you are, I was just gonna phone. You _can_ get compensation. I said so. I've got this document thing off the police - don't thank me! **

“She never stops, does she?” Jack asked, and Rose just shook her head.

**ROSE:** **Where are you, mum?**

**JACKIE:** **I'm in town!**

**ROSE:** **Go home! Just go home, right now!**

**JACKIE:** **Darling, you're breaking up, look, I'm just going to do a bit of late night shopping. I'll see you later. Tara!**

**_She hangs up._ **

“Never listens to me” Rose muttered.

**ROSE:** **Mum?! Mum!**

**_Jackie heads into the Queens Arcade shopping centre._ ** **_The Consciousness sends out a signal._**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's the activation signal! It's transmitting!**

**_The electric blue signal shoots around the Eye._ **

**ROSE:** **The end of the world**

“Just a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?” Jack asked her, she just laughed and said “That’s me”

**_The activation signal transmits from the London Eye. Clive is in the shopping centre, talking to his wife._ **

“Oh Clive, I miss Clive” eleven said.

“Wait you know him?”

“No, I just you know he was quite smart” He answered.

**CLIVE:** **There's no point creating a spreadsheet if you're going to spend summer money in winter months.**

**_Caroline gasps as she walks past a shop window and the dummy taps the glass._ **

**CAROLINE:** **Oh my God! I thought they were dummies! I nearly had a heart-attack!**

**_They look around and all the dummies are doing the same. Clive's wife smiles appreciatively... until they punch their way through the glass and step out of the windows. Jackie is coming down an escalator and looks in disbelief at the dummies walking around._ **

**CLIVE:** **It's true. Everything I read, all the stories! It's all true!**

**_A dummy turns towards him. Its hand comes off and reveals a gun, which shoots him. Clive's wife and son scream._ **

Amy and Rory both shiver. Amy can never forget being shot and Rory can never forget being the one who shot her, even if it didn’t all happen. _(A/N I’m really confused about this, did it happen, all cause of Moffatt!)_

**_The Doctor is still being held hostage._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Get out, Rose! Just get out! Run!**

**_Part of the ceiling falls in._ **

**ROSE:** **The stairs have gone!**

**_Rose and Mickey try desperately to get into the TARDIS._ **

**ROSE:** **I haven't got the key!**

**MICKEY:** **We're gonna die!**

**_The shopping centre is in chaos. Jackie stands at the bottom of the escalator looking confused for a few seconds, then screams and runs, dropping her shopping bag._ **

“She wouldn’t stop going on about that you know?” She told the doctor who just laughed.

**_Mickey and Rose are still cowering at the door of the TARDIS. Outside, Jackie finds that there is just as much chaos outside the shopping centre as there is inside. An army of dummies come out of the doors. Jackie runs down the road and ducks behind a car outside a wedding shop. The dummies in the window punch through the glass. Jackie screams. Rose watches the Doctor struggle to get to the anti-plastic, then seems to reach some kind of decision. She stands up._ **

**MICKEY:** **Just leave him!**

“Now I see why you don’t like him” Jack said to the doctors.

Eleven turned to them and says “He does change though” He said thinking of him and Martha.

**_The wedding dummies advance dangerously on Jackie. All three hold their arms out ready to shoot._ **

“Now this she didn’t tell me about” Rose said, slightly worried.

**_Rose takes action._ **

**MICKEY:** **There's nothing you can do!**

**_Rose picks up an axe._ **

**ROSE:** **I've got no A Levels.**

**_The dummies raise their guns at Jackie._ **

**ROSE:** **No job...**

**_The hands open to reveal the space where the bullets can be released._ **

**ROSE:** **No future.**

**_Jackie cowers. Rose hacks at a chain on the wall, trying to release it._ **

**ROSE:** **But I tell you what I have got. Jericho Street Junior School under 7s gymnastic team.**

**_The chain comes loose and Rose grabs onto it._ **

**ROSE:** **I got the bronze!**

**_Rose swings across the gap over the Consciousness. She kicks the Autons holding the Doctor hostage into the Nestene, anti-plastic and all. The Consciousness starts to writhe and scream. Rose lands safely in the Doctor's arms at the other side of the gap._ **

Everyone cheers and Jack ‘whoops’. That’s what I’m talking about” He shouts, punching the air. The others just look at him amused. He sits down and says “What? I really get into it”

**THE DOCTOR:** **Now we're in trouble.**

**_The Consciousness starts to explode as Rose and the Doctor run off. The signal from the Eye is cut off. The Autons in the high street that were previously attacking people, stop, and start to twitch as if they are doing some kind of dance. Jackie uncovers her eyes warily. Rose, the Doctor and Mickey all manage to reach the TARDIS. Rose grins at the Consciousness before she goes in and closes the door, as it starts to die. Just before the whole chamber goes up in flames, the TARDIS disappears. The dummies all fall to the ground, twitching at first, but dead. Mickey runs backwards out of the TARDIS and falls over, looking terrified. He backs against a wall._ **

“Haha, BEST. REACTION.EVER” Jack shouted and the others laughed, apart from Rose, who felt sorry for her boyfriend.

**_Rose, however, steps out and rings her mother on her mobile._ **

**JACKIE:** **_(answers phone)_ ** **Rose! Rose! Don't go out of the house, it's not safe!**

**_Rose laughs in relief to hear Jackie's voice._ **

**JACKIE:** **There were all of these things! And they were shooting! And they—**

**_Satisfied that Jackie is alive, Rose hangs up on her, smiling to herself._ **

“Little rebel aren’t you?” Jack asked.

**JACKIE:** **Hello? Hello?**

**_Rose runs over to Mickey._ **

**ROSE:** **A fat lot of good you were!**

**_Mickey whimpers. The Doctor stands in the doorway of the TARDIS._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nestene Consciousness? _(clicks fingers)_ Easy. **

**ROSE:** **_(teasingly)_ ** **You were useless in there. You'd be dead if it wasn't for me.**

“True” Everyone, apart from the doctor’s (obviously) say, and they start laughing.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes, I would. Thank you. Right then! I'll be off! Unless, uh... I don't know... you could come with me.**

**_Rose looks at him and puts her hands in her pockets._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **This box isn't just a London hopper, you know, it goes anywhere in the universe free of charge.**

**MICKEY:** **Don't! He's an alien! He's a thing!**

The doctors looked offended as everyone laughed.

**THE DOCTOR:** **He's NOT invited. What do you think? You could stay here and fill your life with work and food and sleep, or you could go, uh... anywhere.**

**ROSE:** **Is it always this dangerous?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(nods)_ ** **Yeah.**

**_Mickey puts his arms around Rose's legs like a little child._ **

“Okay, even Rhys isn’t like this” Gwen said to Ianto who nodded, what was up with this man.

"Kind of adorable though" Amy said, patting Rory on the head, as though he had done something like that before. Rory Scowled.

**ROSE:** **Yeah, I can't... I've um... gotta go and find my mum and um... someone's gotta look after this stupid lump... _(small laugh, pats Mickey on the back)_ So... **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Okay. See you around.**

**_Rose looks at him intensely, as if she still hasn't really made up her mind. The Doctor does not take his eyes off her, but closes the door. Rose looks at the closed door. The engines of the TARDIS rev up, and it slowly disappears. Rose stares at the space where it was, lost in thought._ **

**ROSE:** **Come on, let's go.**

**_Mickey is in absolute shock, staring at the empty space where the TARDIS stood._ **

**ROSE:** **C'mon... come on...**

**_She helps him to his feet and they begin to walk away. However, the sound of the engines is heard again. Rose and Mickey spin around. The TARDIS reappears. The Doctor pops his head out._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **By the way - did I mention, it also travels in time?**

“Works all the time” they both say smiling wickedly.

**_He grins and goes back in - leaving the door ajar. Rose turns to Mickey._ **

**ROSE:** **Thanks.**

**MICKEY:** **Thanks for what?**

**ROSE:** **Exactly.**

**_She kisses his cheek and runs into the TARDIS with a broad smile on her face._ **

“Am I the only one who feels sorry for mickey?” Rory asked everyone as they TV switched off.

“Pretty much yeah” Jack says, and Amy just pats him on the shoulder.


	3. The End of The World

  ** _Picking up where the last episode left off - Rose runs into the TARDIS and joins the Doctor._**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Right then, Rose Tyler - you tell me, where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time. It’s your choice. What's it going to be?**

“Forwards” nearly everyone called out, with the exception of the doctors, who just sat there smiling.

**ROSE:** **Forwards.**

**_The Doctor presses a few buttons._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **How far?**

**ROSE:** **_(picking random number)_ ** **One hundred years.**

“BORING” Jack called out earning a glare from Rose.

**_He pulls a lever and turns a knob. The engines lurch and then stop after a few seconds._ **

“Why does it make that noise?” Ianto asked the doctors, but everyone was surprised when river answered.

“It’s not supposed to make that noise” She said in a matter-of-fact tone “He leaves the breaks on” She said pointing to them both. They both however huffed and sais in sync “I like the noise!” however it had cause questions to form in everyone apart from Eleven, Amy, Rory and River to ask questions in their heads, who is she? How does she know?

**THE DOCTOR:** **There you go, step outside those doors, it's the twenty-second century.**

**ROSE** **: You're kidding.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's a bit boring though,**

“Told ya” Jack said grinning.

**THE DOCTOR: do you want to go further?**

**ROSE:** **Fine by me!**

**_The Doctor starts up the engines again. When they stop, he looks at her._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Ten thousand years in the future. Step outside, it's the year 12005, the New Roman Empire.**

**ROSE:** **_(teasingly)_ ** **You think you're so impressive.**

“Yes” both of the doctors said, causing the others to roll their eyes. River just shook her head, he was always going to have a big ego.

**THE DOCTOR:** **I AM so impressive!**

“AGREED”

**ROSE:** **You wish!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Right then, you asked for it. I know exactly where to go. _(revs up the engine, pumps a lever furiously)_ Hold on! **

**_The TARDIS hurtles through the time vortex. With a pinging noise, the TARDIS stops._ **

**ROSE:** **Where are we?**

**_The Doctor gestures towards the doors. Rose smiles excitedly._ **

**ROSE:** **What's out there?**

**_The Doctor gestures again. Rose steps outside the doors._ ** **_Rose finds herself in some kind of wooden room. The Doctor follows her and with his sonic screwdriver, opens the shutters of an enormous window. They go down the stairs and find themselves looking down on the planet Earth._ **

“It really is beautiful isn’t it?” Amy asked Rose.

“Yeah” She answered, “And it’s always the most beautiful when you see it first”

**THE DOCTOR:** **You lot. You spend all your time thinking about dying. Like you're going to get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible. Maybe you survive. This is the year5.5/apple/26. Five billion years in your future. This is the day... hold on... _(looks at his watch)_ This is the day the sun expands. Welcome to the end of the world.**

“Haha, that’s twice now, an amazing speech and then, BOOM, a shocking revelation” Everyone ignored jack, who began pouting, and Rory turned to the doctors.

“That was a really good speech” He said and they smiled, “too bad you no longer say anything smart anymore” The doctors smiles faded as everyone laughed,

**_Two space shuttles zoom towards Platform One, essentially a huge space station._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Shuttles 5 and 6 now docking. Guests are reminded that platform 1 forbids the use of weapons, teleportation and religion. Earth Death is scheduled for 15:39, followed by drinks in the Manchester Suite.**

**_Rose and the Doctor are walking down a corridor._ **

**ROSE:** **So, when it says 'guests' does that mean people?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Depends what you mean by people.**

**ROSE:** **I mean people. What do you mean?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Aliens.**

“ooo Rosie’s first meeting” He laughed as her eyes narrowed at the name.

“Jack” ten warned, although taking note of the nickname, for future reference, of course.

**ROSE:** **What are they doing on board this spaceship? What's it all for?**

**_The Doctor starts to open a door with his sonic screwdriver._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's not really a spaceship. More like an observation deck. The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn.**

**ROSE:** **What for?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Fun.**

“Really?” Amy asked elven, who nodded. “I don’t see how that’s fun, I mean the people there”

“Oh Amy, remember our first outing, they all left” he told her.

“Oh” she said.

**_They enter a large observation gallery._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Mind you, when I said the great and the good, what I mean is, the rich.**

“Of course always comes down to money” Gwen said.

**ROSE:** **But, hold on, they did this once on 'Newsround Extra' - the sun expanding - that takes hundreds of years.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Millions. But the planet's now property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there? _(points out of the window at tiny glints of light orbiting the Earth)_ Gravity satellite. That's holding back the sun. **

**ROSE:** **_(peering out of the window at Earth)_ ** **The planet looks the same as ever. I thought the continents shifted and things.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **They did. And the trust shifted them back. That's a classic Earth. But now the money's run out, nature takes over!**

**ROSE:** **How long has it got?**

**_The Doctor looks at his watch._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **About half an hour. And the planet gets roasted.**

“No need to sound so excited” Amy told the doctors who raised their eyebrows she was about to answer when Rose said

“Yeah, I mean this is our home, even if its millions of years in the future” She answered glaring at the doctors along with Amy, who were cowering in their seats. They began to laugh, and others caught on, Rory whispered to eleven and said “good luck with them two”

**ROSE:** **Is that why we're here? I mean, is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the Earth?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm not saving it. Time's up.**

**ROSE:** **But what about the people?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's empty! They're all gone. All left.**

**_Rose looks back to the window, realization spreading across her face._ **

**ROSE:** **Just me then.**

**_The Steward hurries towards them._ **

**STEWARD:** **Who the hell are you?**

“That’s nice” Jack snorted

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh! That's nice, thanks.**

Jack turned to the doctor and said “Great minds think alike” they both looked horrified at the thought, and River laughed, good old Jack.

**STEWARD:** **But how did you get in? This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked! They're on their way any second now!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's me, I'm a guest, look! I've got an invitation! _(flashes a small leather wallet at the Steward)_ Look, there you see? It's fine, see? The Doctor plus one. I'm the Doctor, this is Rose Tyler. She's my plus one. That all right?**

**STEWARD:** **Well... obviously. _(Doctor grins)_ Apologies, et cetera. If you're on-board, we'd better start. Enjoy.**

**_The Doctor nods at him. After the steward walks off, the Doctor shows Rose the card he had flashed at the steward. It is completely blank._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **The paper's slightly psychic. Shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time.**

“True” most of the room said,

“We could really use that for torchwood” Ianto muttered to Jack who grinned, they had it, he just never told them. You can never trust humans. **(A/N Is Jack alien, well I’m saying he is anyway)**

**ROSE:** **He's blue.**

“No need to insult” Ten told Rose “Think of how you look to him, all pink and lanky” he said a disgusted look on his face.

“um Doctor you do realise you look exactly like us, right?” Amy asked ten who looked like he had judt been insulted

“I do not” He told her and she laughed. Eleven looked happy, is Amy gets on with his past self, then maybe he may be able to talk to Rose. It had been so long, if only Donna and Martha were here, it would be amazing. He was snapped out of his thoughts, by River laughing with Jack, oh River, he hoped she wasn’t jealous, what with Rose. Ha, No River would never be the jealous type, he smiled.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yeah.**

**ROSE:** **Okay...**

**_The steward is now speaking through a microphone at the other end of the suite._ **

**STEWARD:** **We have in attendance, the Doctor and Rose Tyler. Thank you! All staff to their positions.**

**_He claps his hands and a lot of little blue people (the staff) start scurrying around._ **

**STEWARD:** **Hurry now! Thank you, as quick as we can! Come along, come along! And now, might I introduce the next honoured guest, representing the forest of Cheem, we have Trees. Namely, Jabe, Lute and Coffa.**

**_Jabe, Lute and Coffa walk through the doors._ **

“Okay..” Amy said, she had seen Aliens, but tress, walking?

**STEWARD:** **There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace. If you can keep the room circulating, thank-you. Next, from the solicitors Jolco and Jolco, the Moxx of Balhoon.**

**_The Doctor smiles cheerily, as Rose looks on bewildered._ **

“It’s weird seeing them the first time” She told he room

“I know, it’s like, you only see humans, and then suddenly, you’re talking to aliens” Rory said to Rose, who smiled.

**STEWARD:** **And next, from Financial Family Seven, we have the Adherents of the Repeated Meme.**

**_The Doctor chuckles at the look on Rose's face._ **

“It was pretty funny” Ten told her, and earned a slap in the head, Eleven too held his head, but it wasn’t because Amy had slapped him, had he remembered feeling that?

**STEWARD:** **The inventors of hyposlip travel systems, the brothers Hop Pyleen. Thank you!**

**_Enter new aliens._ **

**STEWARD:** **Cal 'Spark Plug'.**

**_Enter new aliens._ **

**STEWARD:** **Mr. and Mrs Pakoo.**

**_Enter new aliens._ **

**STEWARD:** **The Ambassadors from the City State of Binding Light.**

**_Jabe approaches the Doctor. Either side of her, her companions are holding plant trays with little shoots in them._ **

**JABE:** **The Gift of Peace. _(takes a cutting, hands it to the Doctor)_ I bring you a cutting of my Grandfather. **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Thank you! _(gives it to Rose)_ Yes, gifts... erm... **

**_He clears his throat and starts feeling his jacket for something, finding nothing, he says-_ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I give you in return, air from my lungs.**

**_He blows gently onto Jabe's face, who closes her eyes briefly._ **

“Let’s hope you had nice breath” Jack joked.

**JABE:** **How... intimate.**

“Oh” Jack said turning to the doctors “You sly old dog’s” he told them grinning, gwen just slapped him on the head, after seeing the look on Rose’s and River’s faces.

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(flirtatiously)_ ** **There's more where that came from.**

“Well at least you got better at flirting” She whispered to eleven who turned red, he really didn’t want Jack to hear that.

**JABE** **_:_ ** **I bet there is...**

**_Rose has the sort of look on her face that is to be expected of someone who has just witnessed their companion flirting with a tree._ **

**STEWARD:** **Sponsor of the main event, please welcome the Face of Bo.**

“NO FRICKIN’ WAY” Jack shouted, jumping up from the sofa, everyone turned to stare at him. “WHAT THE HELL?”

“What?” Ten asked him and he shook his head, he turned to eleven who nodded.

Jack realised that he finds out in the future, so he decided to not tell them.

“I know him” Joey said trying to convince them, ten just nodded, but jack didn’t miss the smirk on eleven and River’s faces.

**_A huge head in an equally huge jar is wheeled through the doors._ **

Jack whimpered, as he saw himself in the future. “Oh Jackie boy, The Face of Bo doesn’t look too good does he?” River asked, smiling. He almost fainted thinking of himself in the future, Oh great. So he was going to be old and ugly, and only a head! Just great.

**_The Moxx of Balhoon approaches the Doctor and Rose._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **The Moxx of Balhoon.**

**MOXX OF BALHOON:** **My felicitations on this historical happenstance. I give you the gift of bodily saliva.**

**_He spits accurately into Rose's left eye._ **

“EEEEWWW” Amy said, staring apologetically at Rose, who grimaced.

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(laughs)_ ** **Thank you very much.**

**_Rose rubs the spit out of her eye. Next, the Adherents of the Repeated Meme approach them._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Ah! The Adherents of the Repeated Meme. I bring you air from my lungs.**

**_He breathes heavily over them all._ **

**ADHERENT:** **A gift of peace in all good faith.**

**_He holds out a large silver egg, which the Doctor takes, throws up into the air, catches, and hands to Rose._ **

“What is she, your backpack?” Rory asks the doctors who just shrugged.

**STEWARD:** **And last but not least, our very special guest. Ladies and Gentlemen, and Trees and Multiforms. Consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth The Last Human.**

“This should be interesting” River muttered, Rose answered

“ha yeah right, she’s more like the last trampoline” At the confused looks on their faces Rose just told them to see.

**_The Doctor looks at Rose to see her reaction. The sliding doors open and what looks like a vertical trampoline made of human skin is wheeled through. It has eyes and a mouth, and wears lipstick._ **

At the horrified look on everyone’s faces, Rose just said “told ya”

**STEWARD:** **The Lady Cassandra O’Brien Dot Delta Seventeen.**

**CASSANDRA:** **Oh, now, don't stare. I know, I know it's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away and look at the difference! Look how thin I am.**

**_The Doctor laughs silently but heartily and looks at Rose, who looks shocked._ **

“What you laughing at”? Amy asked them, ten answered saying

“Rose’s expression”

**CASSANDRA:** **Thin and dainty! I don't look a day over two thousand. Moisturize me, moisturize me.**

**_One of the two men in white body suits who wheeled her in is holding a canister, which he sprays onto Cassandra._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **Truly, I am The Last Human.**

“But she’s just a piece of skin!” Gwen said looking ill, do all humans evolve to look like this?

**_Rose creeps closer for a better look._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **My father was a Texan. My mother was from the Arctic Desert. They were born on the Earth and were the last to be buried in the soil.**

**_Rose has been walking around to the other side of Cassandra, to get a good view of her from all angels. She is completely flat._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **I have come to honour them and... _(sniffs)..._ say goodbye. Oh, no tears. _(bodyguard wipes her eyes)_ No tears. I'm sorry. But behold! I bring gifts. From Earth itself - the last remaining ostrich egg. **

**_One of the staff comes in and displays the egg to the room._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **Legend says it had a wingspan of 50 feet and blew fire from its nostrils.**

**_Rose looks mildly confused._ **

So did everyone else in the room, apart from the doctors and river.

**CASSANDRA:** **Or was that my third husband?**

“Well at least she can joke” Jack said laughing.

**_Rose rolls her eyes but the Doctor laughs._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **Who knows! Oh don't laugh. I'll get laughter lines!**

**_She laughs and mumbles to herself for a few seconds. Behind her, a large jukebox is wheeled into the room._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **And here, another rarity. According to the archives, this was called an iPod. It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers.**

**_Rose looks amazed._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **Play on!**

**_One of the staff presses a button and a record falls into place. The 'iPod' starts playing Tainted Love by Soft Cell. The Doctor bops around appreciatively._ **

“So you could never dance?” Amy asked the doctor who looked offended.

“Hey, I dance great” Eleven told her and she just rolled her eyes.

“So what was that you were doing at our wedding?” Rory asked him

“That is a great dance!” he told them, defending his favourite dance.

“Sweetie” Rive said shaking her head “you really are a terrible dancer, always have been!” She told him, he just huffed and sat back. The rest just looked on confused, but Rose got it, those two, in the future were an item, but the question is, where was she?

**STEWARD:** **Refreshments will now be served. Earth Death in 30 minutes.**

**_Rose has a lost, overwhelmed expression on her face. Everywhere she looks there are aliens, but no other humans. She rushes from the gallery. Concerned, the Doctor starts to follow her, but is stopped by Jabe._ **

“I sense someone fancies herself a bit of Doctor” Jack teased the doctors as they turned red.

**JABE:** **Doctor? _(she snaps a photo of him when he pauses)_ Thank you. **

**_The Doctor proceeds on. Jabe walks in the opposite direction. The Adherents of the Repeated Meme are offering the Steward a silver egg._ **

**ADHERENT:** **A gift of peace in all good faith.**

**STEWARD:** **No, you're very kind, but I'm just the Steward.**

**_The Adherents of the Repeated Meme holds the egg out more persistently._ **

**ADHERENT:** **A gift of peace in all good faith.**

**STEWARD:** **Oh, yes. Thank you. Of course.**

**_He takes the egg. Meanwhile, Jabe is trying to get her computer to identify the Doctor's species._ **

**JABE:** **Identify species. Please identify species.**

“She’s gonna get a shock in a minute” River told the group who nodded.

**_The computer makes a small whistling noise._ **

**JABE:** **Now, stop it. Identify his race. Where's he from? _(after a moment, stares at the computer in disbelief - hushed)_ It's impossible. **

“Not really” the doctors said.

**_In a nearby glass cabinet, a metal robotic spider climbs out of one of the metal eggs that the Adherents of the Repeated Meme had been handing out._ **

“UH-OH half the room” said, sensing the danger.

**_Rose, in another part of the ship, looks out of a window at the raging sun. She jumps when another one of the staff comes into the room, this one female. Her name is Raffalo._ **

**ROSE:** **Sorry, am I allowed to be in here?**

**_The employee looks around uneasily._ **

**RAFFALO:** **You have to give us permission to talk.**

**_She looks at Rose expectantly. Rose looks unsure._ **

“Um…what? She has to have permission?” Amy asked not very happy.

**ROSE:** **Uh... you... have permission...?**

**RAFFALO:** **Thank you! And, no. You're not in the way. Guests are allowed anywhere.**

**ROSE:** **'Kay.**

**_Raffalo goes to a panel in the wall and enters a code. Rose watches her._ **

**ROSE:** **What's your name?**

**RAFFALO:** **Raffalo.**

**ROSE:** **Raffalo?**

**RAFFALO:** **Yes, Miss. I won't be long, I've just got to carry out some maintenance.**

**_She kneels before an air vent._ **

**RAFFALO:** **There's a tiny little glitch in the Face of Bo suite. There must be something blocking the system - he's not getting any hot water.**

“How did he become a face?” Rose asked eleven and Jack. They both just shrugged, ten answered

“He’s the last of a species, I think they evolved like that” He told, although he was, too, unsure. He also noticed that there was something wrong with Jack. Although, when is there ever nothing wrong with Jack?

**ROSE:** **So, you're a plumber?**

**RAFFALO:** **That's right, Miss.**

**ROSE:** **They still have plumbers?**

**RAFFALO:** **I hope so! Else I'm out of a job!**

People laughed throughout the room, the whole world was about to die, but they still had plumbers?

**_Rose laughs._ **

**ROSE:** **Where are you from?**

**RAFFALO:** **Crespallion.**

**ROSE:** **That's a planet, is it?**

“No, Crespallion's part of the Jaggit Brocade, affiliated to the Scarlet Junction, Convex 56” Ten told Rose who just laughed.

“What?” he asked confused Rose just told him to wait and see.

**RAFFALO:** **No, Crespallion's part of the Jaggit Brocade, affiliated to the Scarlet Junction, Convex 56. And where are you from, Miss? _(seems to remember herself)_ If you don't mind me asking. **

**ROSE:** **No! Not at all. Erm... I dunno, a long way away... I just sort of, hitched a lift with this man. _(only just realising the risk she's taken herself)_ I didn't even think about it... I don't even know who he is... he's a complete stranger...**

“That’s what it was like for me, except, I sort of knew him my whole life” Amy told Rose, who looked confused.

“What?” She asked but eleven just looked at her and said

“Spoilers” Nobody noticed the smile river was wearing at his words.

**_Raffalo looks slightly worried. Rose snaps herself out of it._ **

**ROSE:** **Anyway, don't let me keep you. Good luck with it!**

**_She begins to walk away._ **

**RAFFALO:** **Thank you, Miss. And-- _(Rose turns)_ Thank you for the permission. Not many people are that considerate. **

**ROSE:** **_(smiles)_ ** **'Kay. See you later.**

**_Raffalo nods and smiles. When Rose has gone, she takes the cover off the air vent._ **

**RAFFALO:** **Now then.**

**_She peers into the vent and then speaks into a small microphone attached to her collar._ **

**RAFFALO:** **Control - I'm at Junction 19 and I think the problem's coming from in here. I'll go inside and have a look. _(Hears small tapping)_ What's that? Is there something in there? **

**_The metal spider we saw breaking out of the egg earlier appears at the end of the shaft._ **

“My trouble senses are tingling” Jack said, ten just snorted and said

“Your trouble senses are always tingling Jack.

**RAFFALO:** **Oh! Who are you, then?**

**_The spider scurries away as if frightened._ **

**RAFFALO:** **Hold on! I... if you're an upgrade I just need to register you, that's all. Oh, come back!**

**_A red beam of light falling on Raffalo's face tells us the spider has come back._ **

**RAFFALO:** **Ah, there you are. Now, I just need to register your ident.**

**_Another spider joins the first._ **

**RAFFALO:** **Oh, there's two of you! Got yourself a little mate! _(giggles)_ I think I'd better report this to control. How many of you are there? _(a third spider appears, and then a fourth)_ What are you? Oh, no. No. Nooooo! **

**_She is dragged head first into the air vent._ **

“Damn, I like her” Rory said, and looked scared at the look on Amy’s face “What? She was nice” he defended and Amy just nodded agreeing. Jack mouthed to Rory once she had turned away “NICE SAVE” Rory just looked at him questioningly.

**_The steward enters and puts his egg on a nearby table and sits down. He listens to Control speaking._ **

**STEWARD:** **What's that? Well, how should I know? _(activates loudspeaker)_ Would the owner of the blue box in private gallery 15 please report to the steward’s office immediately. Guests are reminded that use of _all_ teleportation devices is strictly forbidden under Peace Treaty 5.4/cup/16. Thank you. **

The doctors looked offended and Eleven shouted, “She is not some mere space hopper” Jack looked offended, he liked his teleportation device, Amy just giggled and Rose rolled her eyes. “Boys and their toys” She muttered and River, who heard looked over and said “Tell me about it!” sighing slightly.

**_While he is talking, a spider has broken out of his egg and runs up the opposite wall. We are shown another shot of the burning sun and the satellite over the Earth._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Earth Death in 25 minutes. Earth Death in 25 minutes**

**_Rose sits on the steps, throwing the egg up in the air and catching it again when she hears this announcement._ **

**ROSE:** **Oh, thanks.**

**_She puts the egg down and turns her attention to the cutting of Jabe's grandfather. She picks it up._ **

**ROSE:** **Hello! My name's Rose. That's a sort of plant. We might be related**

Ten snorted, “you’re talking to a plant?” He asked, a smug expression on his face Rose just turned and said “You can talk Mr. ‘I stroke my TARDIS when I think nobody’s looking!’” Everyone laughed and the Doctors pouted at them. Jack was laughing so hard he fell out of his seat. Amy was clutching her side, and River was well, just laughing, although her and Rose looked smug now.

**_She suddenly realizes what she is doing and hurriedly puts the plant down._ **

**ROSE:** **I'm talking to a twig.**

The Doctors didn’t say anything as people were still smirking at them.

**_Behind her, the spider breaks out of the egg._ **

Jack swore.

**_The TARDIS is being dragged away by some of the staff._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oi, now, careful with that. Park it properly. No scratches.**

“Wouldn’t want to your baby would you?” Rose asked being patronizing. This caused a new bout of giggles, and the Doctors swore revenge on Miss Rose Tyler. River hadn’t thought about it, bit Rose Tyler was pretty funny, no wonder the doctor fell in love with her!

**_One of them walks up to the Doctor, squeaks at him, hands him a card and walks away again. The Doctor reads it - it says 'Have a nice day'. The Doctor looks at the retreating staff's back as if he or she is completely off his or her rocker, and walks off. A few of the metal spiders scurry up the wall behind him. A few more are running along the air vent. The spider that came out of Rose's egg appears to be scanning her hand, but Rose is completely oblivious._ **

“Oblivious yet again, what we gonna do with you?” Jack asked her.

**_It jumps and runs to the air vent when the Doctor's voice floats through the door._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Rose? Are you in there?**

**_The spider scrambles through the vent just in time, before the Doctor comes through the door._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Aye aye! _(sits on other side of stairs)_ What do you think, then? **

**ROSE:** **Great! Yeah... fine. Once you get past the slightly psychic paper**

“Also one of the things I love!” Ten said, “Although that can’t change like my sonic and TARDIS!” He said looking sad again, until Amy spoke up.

“Yeah what happened there? I didn’t want to mention anything because you tend to overeact” She said to ten, but continued, stopping him from interrupting “But the TARDIS has completely changed” This was too much for ten and he shouted “NOOOOOOOO” and began to ramble, again.

“Not again, I love the TARDIS like it is, it’s always been beautiful, but now it’s the best it’s ever been, what else has changed, I lose both of them at once I guess, And I’m still not Ginger, I mean come on it’s like the universe is trying to punish me!” he looked around to find them all laughing at him.

“What?” He asked, he thought he was being perfectly reasonable, his poor, poor baby. But eleven answered Amy’s question “My regeneration, kinda blew it up!” He said, staring at his past self, he loved all the new things, but he too couldn’t get over the TARDIS’ regeneration.

**_The Doctor laughs. There is a short pause._ **

**ROSE:** **They're just, so alien. _(Doctor looks at her questioningly)_ The aliens. Are so alien. You look at 'em... and they're alien. **

“I think we figured out they’re alien” Jack told her and she just sighed.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Good thing I didn't take you to the Deep South.**

**ROSE:** **_(as if looking at him properly for the first time)_ ** **Where are you from?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **All over the place.**

**ROSE:** **They all speak English.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No - you just _hear_ English. It's a gift of the TARDIS. Telepathic field, gets inside your brain - translates. **

**ROSE:** **It's inside my brain?**

“only you could take that the wrong way” Jack teased, and Rose glared, ten whispered in her ear, and she laughed at Jack.

“What?” he asked, and eleven too laughed, knowing what he whispered, he told the same to Amy, Rory and River, who too laughed.

“What?” Jack repeated. They all just laughed, and Rose walked over and told Gwen and Ianto who were practically rolling on the floor.

“WHAT?” He shouted, which made them laugh more. He just slumped in his chair and mumbled “I hate you all” Once they had stopped laughing, which had taken a while due to the look on Jacks face, the TV began again.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, in a good way.**

**ROSE:** **_(colder, starting to sound angry)_ ** **Your machine gets inside my head. It gets inside and it changes my mind, and you didn't even ask?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(thrown)_ ** **I didn't think about it like that.**

“You never do” River told eleven.

“Yeah, Might have overreacted there” She told them and both doctors snorted.

**ROSE:** **_(angrily)_ ** **No! You were too busy thinking up cheap shots about the Deep South! Who are you then, Doctor? What are you called? What sort of alien are you?**

“She’s almost as scary as Amy” Rory whispered to eleven who nodded. They were both _very_ scary when they were angry.

**_The Doctor sits up and looks away from her._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm just The Doctor.**

**ROSE:** **From what planet?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, it's not as if you'll know where it is!**

**ROSE:** **Where are you from?!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **What does it matter?**

**ROSE:** **Tell me who you are!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(suddenly angry)_ ** **This is who I am, right here, right now, alright? All that counts is here and now, and this is me!**

“Sorry” She whispered to ten who just smiled and said, “Not your thought you weren’t to know” She smiled at him too.

**ROSE:** **Yeah, and I'm here too because you brought me here, so just tell me!**

**_The Doctor gets up and walks down the steps away from her._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Earth Death in 20 minutes. Earth Death in 20 minutes.**

**_After a few moments, Rose gets up and follows the Doctor down the steps._ **

**ROSE:** **Alright... as my mate Shareen says... don't argue with the designated driver**

“I met a Shareen once” Jack told them, then continued “Nice woman, a little on the wild side though”

River turned to him, “There’s someone out there more wild than you?” She asked flirtatiously (like usual). He laughed and said “You can find out just how wild I am” He told her and she laughed “Sorry I’m taken” She told him. She tried not to stare at the doctor as she said this, the last thing she wanted to Rose, or the past doctor finding out. However little did she know, Rose had already guessed what she meant, and felt a little bit of jealousy, which she brushed off. Ianto was also jealous and Jack sensing this turned to him and whispered “So am I” Ianto smiled and Gwen rolled her eyes, ‘honestly!’

**_The Doctor, with his back turned to her, smiles at that. Rose gets her mobile out of her pocket._ **

**ROSE:** **Can't exactly call for a taxi... there's no signal. We're out of range. Just a bit!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Tell you what**

**_He takes the phone from her._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **With a little bit of jiggery pokery**

**_He takes the back off the phone._ **

**ROSE:** **Is that a technical term, 'jiggery pokery'?**

“Yes” The two doctor glared, not a sarcastic tone in their voices.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery, what about you?**

**ROSE:** **Nah, failed hullabaloo.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oooh. _(fits in a new battery, hands phone back to Rose)_ There you go.**

“Ah I love it when he does that” Rory said, then turned to Rose “Did you know it comes free?”

Rose nodded and said “Yeah, took me a while to figure it out, mum had field day when I told her, kept pestering the Doctor to do it to hers” She and the doctors laughed at the memory.

“Worked though” Eleven said.

**_Rose takes it and looks at him uncertainly. He nods. Rose gets her mum's number onto the screen and puts the phone to her ear. It rings. We find ourselves in the Jackie's kitchen, 2005._ **

**JACKIE:** **Hello?**

**ROSE:** **Mum?**

**_Jackie, at home, is putting some washing into the machine._ **

**JACKIE:** **Oh, what is it? What's wrong? What have I done now? Oh, this red top's falling to bits! You should get your money back.**

“Does she ever stop?” Gwen asked slightly shocked, her mum was bad but not this bad. Rose just nodded her head fondly.

**JACKIE: Go on! There must be something, you never phone in the middle of the day!**

**_Rose laughs._ **

**JACKIE:** **What's so funny?**

**ROSE:** **Nothing! You all right, though?**

**JACKIE:** **Yeah! Why wouldn't I be?**

**ROSE:** **What day is it?**

**JACKIE:** **Wednesday. All day. You got a hangover? Oh, I tell you what, put a quid in that lottery syndicate, I'll pay you back later.**

**ROSE:** **Yeah, um, I was just calling 'cause I might be late home.**

**JACKIE:** **Is there something wrong?**

**ROSE:** **No! I'm fine! Top of the world!**

The rooms laughed at her pun.

**_The Doctor laughs. Jackie puts the phone down. Rose lowers the mobile, stunned._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Think that's amazing, you want to see the bill.**

“Hey you lied!” Rose said, Ten shook his head.

“No I didn’t, the charge goes to me, although I don’t know how they expect to get me to pay. They’ll never catch me” He told her smiling.

**ROSE:** **That was 5 billion years ago. So... she's dead now. Five billion years later, my mum's dead.**

“You really know how to have a good time don’t ya?” Jack asked Rose.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Bundle of laughs, you are.**

“True that” Ianto said laughing as Jack looked at him a funny expression on his face.

**_The ship shudders._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(rather pleased and curious)_ ** **That's not supposed to happen**

“Uh-oh everyone duck and cover, he’s curious” Jack l,aughed with the others, even the doctors laughed.

**STEWARD:** **_(to control)_ ** **Well, what was it? I'm just getting green lights at this end. _(activates loudspeaker)_ Honoured guests may be reassured that gravity pockets may cause slight turbulence, thanking you. **

**_As soon as it is switched off again, he speaks angrily to control again._ **

**STEWARD:** **The whole place shook! I felt it! I've hosted all sorts of events on platforms 1, 3, 6 and 15 and I've never felt the slightest tremor. I warn you, if this lot decide to sue... I'm going to scan the infrastructure. _(presses a few buttons)_ What's that? **

**_A spider scurries down the wall behind him._ **

**STEWARD:** **Control, I don't want to worry you, but I'm picking up readings ( _computer beeps)_ I have no idea! Well, they're small, and the scan says they're metal _(computer beeps - frustrated)_ I don't know what they look like! **

**_Suddenly, he spots the spider, which is now pottering around on his desk next to his mug._ **

**STEWARD:** **Although, I imagine they might look rather like that... you're not on the guest list... how did you get on board?**

“That’s the weirdest thing, your so used to only speaking to humans, that you find it weird when they are talking to machines!” Rose sighed, it took a long time to get used to that. Amy nodded with Rory.

**_The spider looks at him almost mockingly and presses a yellow button on the control panel. The computerized woman's voice booms out again._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter deactivated.**

“DAMNIT!” Jack yelled.

**STEWARD:** **No. No!**

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter descending. _The sunfilter does indeed, descend._**

**STEWARD:** **_(frantic)_ ** **No! Sunfilter, up! No, no, no!**

**_He fumbles frantically with the buttons on the control panels, but too late._ **

**STEWARD:** **Sunfilter up! Sunfilter up!**

**_Blinding light engulfs the steward._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter descending.**

**_The Steward screams._ **

“Poor guy” Jack says.

**_Outside the room, the spider escapes through an air vent. The guests are completely oblivious to the commotion, chatting to each other. The Moxx of Balhoon is talking to the Face of Bo._ **

**MOXX OF BALHOON:** **this is the Bad Wolf scenario**

“The doctors look at each other, if only they had picked up on it before!”

**_The Doctor and Rose enter._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **That wasn't a gravity pocket. I know gravity pockets and they don't feel like that.**

**_He is fiddling with a control panel next to the door. Jabe approaches them._ **

“Back to a little bit o’ flirting!” Jack wiggles his eyebrows at ten, who glares, as eleven laughed, he really should be careful around River. She too was scary. Oh well, at least Jack can’t die.

**THE DOCTOR:** **What do you think, Jabe? Listened to the engines - they pitched up about 30 hertz, is that dodgy or what?**

**JABE:** **It's the sound of metal, it doesn't make any sense to me.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Where's the engine room?**

**JABE:** **I don't know... but the maintenance duct is just behind our guest's suite, I could show you. And _(gestures Rose)_...your wife. **

**THE DOCTOR:** **She's not my wife.**

No but I am, River thinks. She likes Rose, but she can’t help but get a little jealous as her and ten smiled at each other. And if Jack didn’t stop going on she was going to find a way of killing him.

**JABE:** **Partner?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No.**

**JABE:** **Concubine?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nope.**

**_Jabe looks at Rose._ **

**JABE:** **Prostitute**

“Hey” Amy shouts, she doesn’t know Rose, but she still feels like defending her. Gwen also looked mad, and Ianto shifted slightly. Let’s just say, every woman in that room were scary when mad.

**ROSE:** **_(insulted)_ ** **Whatever I am, it must be invisible, do you mind? Tell you what, you two go and pollinate, I'm going to catch up with family. Quick word with Michael Jackson.**

“Nice!” Jacksmiling with the rest.

**_She makes her way over to Cassandra._ **

**THE DOCTOR** **Don't start a fight.**

“Punch that little-”

“Jack” Ten warned. Yeah not only the woman were scary.

**THE DOCTOR:(proffers arm to Jabe)** **I'm all yours.**

“Oh I bet you are” Jack smiles gleefully.

**ROSE:** **_(watching them leave)_ ** **And I want you home by midnight!**

**_The Doctor grins back at her._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Earth Death in 15 minutes. Earth Death in 15 minutes.**

**_Before the Doctor and Jabe enter, several spiders scurry out of view._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Who's in charge of Platform One? Is there a captain or what?**

**JABE:** **There's just the steward and the staff. All the rest is controlled by the metal man.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You mean the computer? But who controls that?**

**JABE:** **The Corporation. They move Platform One from one artistic event to another.**

**_The Doctor is silent for a moment._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **But there's no one from the corporation on board.**

**JABE:** **They're not needed. This facility is purely automatic. It's the height of the alpha class. Nothing can go wrong.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Unsinkable?**

“You had to curse it didn’t you?” Amy sighed to eleven, who just shrugged.

**JABE:** **If you like. The nautical metaphor is appropriate.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You're telling me. I was on board another ship once. They said that was unsinkable... I ended up clinging to an iceberg, it wasn't half cold.**

“Of course you’d be on the Titanic” Rose said to the doctor, who smiled at her.

Jack put two and two together and gasped he turned to eleven “It was you on the one, at Christmas!” he asked, and Gwen, Ianto, Amy and Rory also gasped ad the doctor nodded his head. “Go figure” Rose and ten were looking at them like they had gone mad and River said “Spoilers!”

**THE DOCTOR: _(stops a moment)_** **So, what you're saying is, if we get in trouble there's no one to help us out?**

**JABE:** **I'm afraid not.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(grinning)_ ** **Fantastic.**

“FANTASTIC!” Both the doctors shouted together again

“Are you gonna do that all the time?” Rose asked, and they both grinned and said “yep” The other’s groaned.

**_He starts walking again._ **

**JABE:** **I don't understand. In what way is THAT fantastic?**

“To him, it is!”

**_Behind them, a spider creeps out of its hiding place. Rose is talking to Cassandra. They are looking out of a window at the sun and down at the Earth._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **Soon, the sun will blossom into a red giant, and my home will die. That's where I used to live, when I was a little boy.**

“Who knew” Jack gaped with the rest of the room.

**CASSANDRA: Down there. Mummy and Daddy had a little house built into the side of the Los Angeles Crevice. _(sighs)_ I had such fun. **

“If you poked her, would your finger like, point through the flesh?” Rory asked.

**ROSE:** **What happened to everyone else? The Human Race - where did it go?**

**CASSANDRA:** **They say Mankind has touched every star in the sky.**

**ROSE:** **So, you're NOT the last human.**

**CASSANDRA:** **I am the last PURE human. The others... mingled.**

“Another word for they fu-”

“Jack” The doctor warned, he pouted. To be honest, the doctor only did it to annoy him.

**CASSANDRA:** **_(disgusted)_ ** **Oh, they call themselves 'New Humans' and 'Proto-humans' and 'Digi-humans' even 'Human-ish' but you know what I call them? _(lowers her voice to a whisper)_ Mongrels. **

**ROSE:** **Right. And you stayed behind.**

**CASSANDRA:** **I kept myself pure.**

**ROSE:** **How many operations have you had?**

**CASSANDRA:** **708\. Next week, it's 709, I'm having my blood bleached. Is that why you wanted a word? You could be flatter, Rose. You've got a little bit of a chin poking out.**

“I think your perfect” Ten whispered to rose, and then realising what he said, turned bright red. Rose just grinned extremely happy.

**ROSE:** **I'd rather die.**

“Same here!” Amy and Gwen said, they all smiled.

**CASSANDRA:** **Honestly, it doesn't hurt—**

**ROSE:** **No, I mean it. I'd rather die. It's better to die than live like you - a bitchy trampoline.**

“YES THEN ROSE!” Jack shouted, and many people laughed, Jack went over to kiss her, “I LOVE YOU” He said, then sat down. Ten looked majorly jealous and Jack sent him a knowing wink.

**CASSANDRA:** **Oh well. What do you know.**

**ROSE:** **I was born on that planet. And so was my mum, and so was my dad and that makes me officially the last human being in this room, 'cause you're not human. You've had it all nipped and tucked and flattened till there's nothing left. Anything human got chucked in the bin. You're just skin, Cassandra. Lipstick and skin. Nice talking.**

Jack whooped again, but kept seated at the glare ten sent him. Oh it was so working.

**_She walks off. The Adherents of the Repeated Meme watch her leave through the sliding doors. The Doctor and Jabe are still making their way down the corridor, the low ceiling forcing them to stoop slightly._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **So, tell me, Jabe. What's a tree like you doing in a place like this?**

**JABE:** **Respect for the Earth.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh, come on. Everyone on this platform's worth zillions.**

**JABE:** **Well... perhaps it's a case of having to be seen at the right occasions.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **In case your share prices drop? I know you lot. You've got massive forests everywhere, roots everywhere, and there's always money in land.**

**JABE:** **All the same. You respect the Earth as family. So many species evolved from that planet. Mankind is only one. I'm another. My ancestors were transplanted from the planet down below. And I'm a direct descendant of the tropical rainforest.**

**_The Doctor looks impressed. He then points to a control panel._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Excuse me.**

**_He gets out his sonic screwdriver and starts poking the screen with it._ **

**JABE:** **And what about your ancestry, Doctor? Perhaps you could tell a story or two... perhaps a man only enjoys trouble when there's nothing else left... _(no answer)_ I scanned you earlier. The metal machine had trouble identifying your species - refused to admit your existence. **

**_The Doctor pretends to be concentrating on the scan, but a flicker of emotion passes across his face._ **

**JABE:** **And even when it named you, I wouldn't believe it. But it was right.**

**_The Doctor stops scanning. Deep sadness is reflected in his eyes. Jabe's tone is hushed, awed._ **

**JABE:** **I know where you're from. Forgive me for intruding, but it's remarkable that you even exist. I just want to say... how sorry I am.**

**_Jabe puts a comforting hand on his arm._ **

Jack winked at the doctor and he just turned to eleven. Eleven turned to River who smirked, pulled out her gun and said, quiet now Jackie boy. And shot him. Rose, Rory and Amy screamed, but Ianto and Gwen just laughed, “Thank you, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for someone to do that!” Ianto told her and she smiled. Rose, Amy and Rory looked really confused so eleven told them, “Jacks, immortal, he’ll wake up, I just hope he learned never to mess with River” He said chuckling. Amy and Rory looked relieved, they thought their daughter was a psychopath! Rose just gaped as Jack gasped and woke up. “Wow, nice shot!2 He told her, and she answered “I learnt from the best” he told him.

**_The Doctor's eyes are filled with tears. He places his hand over hers, and a tear falls down his cheek._ **

Both the Doctors look down, trying not to cry. Jack looks guilty.

**_He quickly finishes the scan and he and Jabe go through a door. The Doctor and Jabe find themselves in the ventilation chamber. There are huge fans circulating in there. The Doctor looks down at Jabe._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Is it me, or is it a bit nippy?**

**_Rose walks alone down a corridor. The Adherents of the Repeated Meme are coming from the other end. She smiles at them, but the front one strikes her to the ground where she lies unconscious as they drag her from view._ **

“Great” Gwen muttered.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Fair do's, though, that's a great bit of air conditioning. Sort of, nice and old fashioned. Bet they call it 'retro'. _(scans another control panel with his sonic screwdriver)_ Gotcha. **

**_The panel falls off and a spider scuttles out and scurries across the floor and up the wall. The Doctor and Jabe watch it._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **What the hell's that?**

**JABE:** **Is it part of the 'retro'?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I don't think so. Hold on.**

**_He points the screwdriver at the spider. However, Jabe fires something up at the spider, disabling it. It comes falling into the Doctor's hand._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Hey! Nice liana!**

“That’s what she said” Jack spoke before he could, he looked at Riversong who was smiling, trust Jack to find that dirty. Jack smiled too, oh that woman was fantastic.

**JABE:** **Thank you! We're not supposed to show them in public.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Don't worry, I won't tell anybody. _(turns his attention to the spider)_ Now then. Who's been bringing the pets on board? **

**JABE:** **What does it do?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Sabotage.**

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Earth Death in 10 minutes.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **And the temperature's about to rocket. Come on.**

**_They hurry from the chamber. The aliens mill about._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **The planet's end. Come gather! Come gather! Bid farewell to the cradle of civilization. Let us mourn her with a traditional ballad.**

**_Britney Spears' Toxic suddenly blasts out of the enormous 'iPod'._ **

“Urgh!” Amy says and Gwen can’t help but agree.

**_The Doctor and Jabe hurry along - the corridor is filled with smoke and the staff are coughing squeaky little coughs._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Come on!**

**Get back! _He moves his sonic screwdriver over another control panel._**

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter rising. Sunfilter rising.**

**JABE:** **_(concerned)_ ** **Was the Steward in there?!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You can smell him. Hold on - there's another sun filter program to descend.**

**_'Toxic' plays loudly as Rose wakes up, rubbing her head._ **

“I feel sorry for you” Gwen said grimacing.

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter descending. Sunfilter descending.**

**_Rose sits up in alarm as the Sunfilter descends. She runs to the door and knocks on it frantically._ **

**ROSE:** **Let me out!**

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter descending.**

**_The Doctor runs along the corridor._ **

**ROSE:** **Let me out! Let me out!**

**_The Doctor arrives outside the door to attempt to make the Sunfilter rise again._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Anyone in there?**

**ROSE:** **_(frantically)_ ** **Let me out!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh, well, it would be you.**

“It’s always her” Ten said exasperated, and Eleven agrees, earning a glare from Rose and River.

**ROSE:** **Open the door!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Hold on! Give us two ticks!**

“Let’s hope it’s not wood!” Rory said.

“What?” Rose asked

Eleven sighed “It doesn’t do wood!” he told her and she repeated

_“It doesn’t do wood?”_

“Yes, alright, it doesn’t do wood!” he grimaced, why is that so shocking?

**_The whole room is smoking._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter descending. Sunfilter descending.**

**_The display on the control panel says 'Sunfilter Rising'. The Doctor looks up expectantly._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter rising. Sunfilter rising.**

**_The Doctor looks pleased with himself. Rose sighs with relief._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter rising... Sunfilter descending.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **This is just what we need. The computer's getting clever.**

**ROSE:** **Will you stop mucking about!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm not mucking about, it's fighting back!**

**ROSE:** **Open the door!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Hang on!**

**_Rose runs down the stairs and flattens herself to the floor._ **

“Smart move” River tells her, and Rose smiles.

**ROSE:** **The locks melted!**

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter descending. Sunfilter descending.**

**_The Doctor jabs his sonic screwdriver right inside the wires._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Sunfilter rising. Sunfilter rising.**

**_Panting, Rose runs back to the door. The Doctor cannot open it._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **The whole thing's jammed. I can't open the doors. Stay there! Don't move!**

**ROSE:** **_(terrified sort of sarcasm)_ ** **Where're am I gonna go?! Ipswich?!**

Many laughed at this,

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Earth Death in 5 minutes.**

**JABE:** **_(looking at her computer)_ ** **The metal machine confirms. The spider devices have infiltrated the whole of platform one.**

**CASSANDRA:** **How's that possible? Our private rooms are protected by a code wall. Moisturize me, moisturize me.**

**_The Doctor takes the destabilized spider out of Jabe's hand._ **

**MOXX OF BALHOON:** **Summon the Steward!**

**JABE:** **I'm afraid the Steward is dead.**

**_There is a general gasp of shock._ **

**MOXX OF BALHOON:** **Who killed him?**

**CASSANDRA:** **This whole event was sponsored by the Face of Bo! He invited us! _(Face of Bo shakes his head)_ Talk to the face! Talk to the face! **

“HEY” Jack shouted and stood up at the same time. He looked at the others shocked looks and said “What?” He asks, as if nothing happened.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Easy way of finding out. Someone bought a little pet on board. _(shows them the spider)_ Let's send him back to Master. **

**_He places the spider down on the floor. The spider scuttles along to Cassandra and looks up at her. Cassandra looks shifty for a moment, but the spider moves on to the feet of the Adherents of the Repeated Meme._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **The Adherents of the Repeated Meme. J'accuse!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's all very well, and really kind of obvious, but if you stop and think about it**

**_The Adherents of the Repeated Meme tries to strike him, but he catches its arm and rips it off._ **

“Of course” Jack said sighing.

**THE DOCTOR:** **A Repeated Meme is just an idea. And that's all they are. An idea.**

**_He rips a wire out of the arm and all of the Adherents of the Repeated Meme crumple into a bundle of black cloaks. Everyone gasps. Cassandra rolls her eyes._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Remote controlled Droids. Nice little cover for the _real_ troublemaker. Go on, Jimbo! _(nudges spider with his foot)_ Go home! **

**_The spider ambles back over to Cassandra._ **

“Evil bitch!” Gwen muttered and Jack laughed.

**CASSANDRA:** **I bet you were the school swot and never got kissed.**

“That’s what you think!” Eleven said and everyon laughed, except Amy who looked ill, again.

**_The Doctor raises his eyebrows._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **At arms!**

**_The two bodyguards with canisters on either side of her raise their canisters._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(mockingly)_ ** **What are you going to do, moisturize me?**

“It’s the moisturizer of death!” Jack gasped and everyone chuckled.

**CASSANDRA:** **With acid. Oh, too late anyway. My spiders have control of the mainframe. Oh, you all carried them as gifts, tax free, past every code wall. I'm not just as pretty face.**

They all snorted. Her? Pretty?

**THE DOCTOR:** **Sabotaging a ship while you're still inside it? How stupid's that?**

**CASSANDRA:** **I'd hoped to manufacture a hostage situation with myself as one of the victims. The compensation would have been enormous.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Five billion years and it still comes down to money.**

“Everythings money doc” Jack told him, “Or hasn’t Jackie told you yet?”

**CASSANDRA:** **Do you think it's cheap, looking like this? Flatness costs a fortune. I am The Last Human, Doctor. Me. Not that freaky little kid of yours.**

**MOXX OF BALHOON:** **Arrest her!**

**CASSANDRA:** **Oh, shut it, pixie. I've still got my final option.**

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Earth Death in 3 minutes.**

**CASSANDRA:** **And here it comes. You're just as useful dead, all of you. I have shares in your rival companies and they'll triple in price as soon as you're dead. My spiders are primed and ready to destroy the safety systems. How did that old Earth song go? "Burn, baby, burn."**

“Disco inferno!” Jack finished, but everyone ignored him, ( **A/N Poor jack ): )**

**JABE:** **Then you'll burn with us.**

**CASSANDRA:** **Oh, I'm so sorry. I know the use of teleportation is strictly forbidden, but... I'm such a naughty thing. Spiders - activate.**

**_There are a series of explosions around the ship._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **Force fields gone with the planet about to explode. At least it'll be quick. Just like my fifth husband. _(giggles)_**

Despite himself Jack laughs.

**CASSANDRA:** **Oh, shame on me. Buh-bye, darlings! Buh-bye, my darlings**

**_She and her bodyguards teleport out._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Heat levels rising.**

**MOXX OF BALHOON:** **Reset the computer!**

**JABE:** **Only the Steward would know how.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No. We can do it by hand. There must be a system restore switch. Jabe, come on.**

**_They leave the room. He calls back the crowd over his shoulder._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **You lot - just chill!**

“Oh doctor only you!” Amy said, and everyone agreed.

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Earth Death in 2 minutes. Earth Death in 2 minutes.**

**_Jabe and the Doctor are running back through the maintenance corridor._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Heat levels - critical. Heat levels - critical.**

**_The Doctor and Jabe reach the ventilation chamber._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh. And guess where the switch is.**

**_The switch is located at the other side of the enormous fans._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Heat levels - rising. Heat levels - rising.**

**_The Doctor pulls a lever down and the fans slow down._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **External temperature - 5 thousand degrees.**

**_As soon as the Doctor lets go of the lever, the fans start to speed up again. As the Doctor looks hopelessly at the fans, Jabe pulls the lever down again and holds it there._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **You can't. The heat's going to vent through this place.**

**JABE:** **I know.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Jabe, you're made of wood.**

**JABE:** **Then stop wasting time. Time Lord.**

“You do tend to waste a lot of time” River told the doctor who grinned.

**_He grins at her and runs back to the fans._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Heat levels - rising. Heat levels - rising.**

**_The glass begins to crack._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Heat levels - hazardous.**

“God, that’s annoying” Rory said and they all agreed.

**MOXX OF BALHOON:** **We're going to die!**

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Heat levels - hazardous.**

**_The Doctor dodges the first fan and runs underneath it. He looks anxiously up at the next one. The glass begins to crack. Rose cowers against the wall._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Shields malfunctioning. Shields malfunctioning.**

**_Rays of sun blast in through the cracks, burning holes in the parts of the metal wall they hit. Rose screams. The Doctor is still standing before the second fan. He looks back at Jabe who is sweating and breathing heavily._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Heat levels - critical. Heat levels - critical.**

**_The Doctor dodges under the second fan. The glass cracks further, engulfing the Moxx of Balhoon in light. He cries out. The sunrays hit the wall either side of Rose._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Heat levels - rising. Heat levels - rising.**

**_As the Doctor stands before the third fan. Jabe starts shaking violently. Suddenly, she gasps as one of her hands catches fire. She screams._ **

“No!” they all shouted (apart from the obvious).

**_The Doctor looks back, shocked. Now there is no one to hold the lever down, the fans circulate so fast that they can hardly be seen, in order to cool the ship down. It is impossible for the Doctor to get through. The walls around Rose are rapidly burning._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Planet explodes in 10... 9...**

**_The Doctor closes his eyes. All grows quiet._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **8... 7... 6... 5... 4...**

**_The Doctor, still with his eyes closed, steps calmly though the fan._ **

“Only you could do that!” Jack told the doctors who grinned.

“Well” Ten started,

 “You could” Eleven carried on

“But you’ll probably get torn to pieces” Ten finished smirking.

**_When at the other side, he opens his eyes and dashes to the switch, pulling it down._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Raise shields!**

**_Rose has her eyes closed and is shaking._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **...1**

**_The force fields around the ships are reset just as the planet is engulfed in fire. It explodes, leaving the ship completely unharmed._ **

“SO everyone missed it?” Gwen asked the doctor saddened. He nodded and she looked sad, along with the others.

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Exoglass repair. Exoglass repair.**

**_The glass is automatically repaired. Rose opens her eyes, panting heavily. The Doctor walks back through the fans. He pauses for a moment to look sadly at the charred and smoking remains of Jabe. Rose walks back into the observation gallery, where all the aliens are sitting around, wounded or dead. The Doctor walks briskly in a few moments later. He glances at Rose but does not pause to talk to her. Instead he goes straight to Jabe's companions, mutters a few words to them and then places his hands on their shoulders, leaving them to grieve. He then walks back near Rose._ **

**ROSE:** **You all right?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yeah, I'm fine. I'm full of ideas, I'm bristling with them. Idea number one - teleportation through five thousand degrees needs some kind of feed. Idea number two - this feed must be hidden nearby.**

“You get that bitch Doctor!” Jack told the screen, and everyone glanced around. Jack had officially gone insane.

**_He strides over to the ostrich egg, breaks it open and the teleportation feed falls out. He picks it up._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Idea number three - if you're as clever as me, then a teleportation feed can be reversed.**

**_He twists the feed. Cassandra appears before them, apparently in the middle of gloating._ **

**CASSANDRA:** **Ah, you should have seen their little alien faces. _(notices her new surroundings)  
_ Oh. **

Everyone laughs, joyfully.

**THE DOCTOR:** **The Last Human.**

**CASSANDRA:** **_(flustered)_ ** **so. You passed my little test. Bravo. This makes you eligible to join the er... the human club.**

“Sounds like a joyful experience” Ianto sad and they all laughed.

**THE DOCTOR:** **People have died, Cassandra. You murdered them.**

**CASSANDRA:** **That depends on your definition of 'people'. And that's enough of a technicality to keep your lawyers dizzy for centuries. Take me to court then, Doctor! And watch me smile, and cry, and flutter...**

“And creak” The doctor’s said, repeating themselves.

**THE DOCTOR:** **And creak?**

**CASSANDRA:** **And what?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Creak! You're creaking.**

**_Cassandra's skin is tightening. Her eyes are becoming bloodshot and she is getting whiter and whiter._ **

“So she’s gonna die?” Rory asked and the doctors nod, trying not to give too much away.

**CASSANDRA:** **_(panicking)_ ** **What? Ah! Ah! I'm drying out! Oh, sweet heavens! Moisturize me! Moisturize me! Where are my surgeons? My lovely boys! It's too hot!**

**_She's covered in red blotches._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **You raised the temperature.**

**CASSANDRA:** **_(terrified, pathetic)_ ** **Have pity! Moisturize me! Oh, Doctor!**

**ROSE:** **_(shaken)_ ** **Help her.**

“Why aren’t you helping her?” Amy asked, she might be a murderer, but she didn’t deserve to die like that.

“I can’t everyone has to dies sometimes Amy” He told her.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Everything has its time and everything dies.**

**CASSANDRA:** **_(shrivelling up)_ ** **I'm... too... _young!_ **

**_She explodes. The Doctor looks completely cold and not remotely fazed. He leaves the room._ **

**COMPUTER VOICE:** **Shuttles 4 and 6 departing. This unit now closing down for maintenance.**

**_The Manchester Suit is now completely empty apart from Rose, who is standing at the window watching the Earth burn with a very vulnerable and sad look on her face, oblivious to the Doctor watching her from the doorway. Rocks fly past the window. She turns around when she hears the Doctor's footsteps as he comes to stand beside her._ **

**ROSE:** **_(tearfully)_ ** **The end of the Earth. It's gone. And we were too busy saving ourselves, no one saw it go.**

“That’s so sad” Amy said.

**ROSE: _(the Doctor looks down at her)_** **All those years... all that history and no one was even looking. It's just...**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(holds his hand out to her)_ ** **Come with me.**

**_Rose takes his hand and they walk away together. Back in 2005, Rose steps out of the TARDIS. She looks around at the crowds, seeing them in a new light. The Doctor stands beside her._ **

**BIG ISSUE SELLER:** **Big issue!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You think it'll last forever. People, and cars and concrete. But it won't. One day, it's all gone. Even the sky. _(they both look at the sky. After a moment -)_ My planet's gone. **

**_Rose turns to look at him. This is the first time he's mentioned his home._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's dead. It burned like the Earth. It's just rocks and dust. Before it's time.**

**ROSE:** **What happened?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **There was a war. And we lost.**

“Well” Ten said saddened, they hadn’t lost, but they hadn’t won either.

**ROSE:** **A war with who?**

**_He doesn't answer, seemingly lost in thought._ **

**ROSE:** **What about your people?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left travelling on my own because there's no one else.**

“Jack and eleven looked at each other then, away, both knowing that wasn’t true.

**ROSE:** **There's me**

Eleven sighed, Martha said around the same thing.

**_She smiles at him._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **You've seen how dangerous it is. Do you want to go home?**

**_Rose looks at him for a few seconds._ **

**ROSE:** **I don't know. I want... _(sniffs the air)_ Oh! Can you smell chips? **

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(laughs)_ ** **Yeah. Yeah!**

**ROSE:** **I want chips.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(smiling)_ ** **Me too.**

“Me three” Jack said

**ROSE:** **Right then, before you get me back in that box, chips it is, and you can pay.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No money.**

**ROSE:** **What sort of date are you? Come on then, tightwad, chips are on me.**

**_He smiles at her, delighted._ **

**ROSE:** **We've only got five billion years before the shops close**

**_They walk down the street together laughing, Rose nuzzling her head against his shoulder._ **

“Awww” Jack said teasingly “Now can we have chips?” He asked and everyone looked around, how were they supposed to eat? Just then a note fell down:

_Dear People,_

_Sue from catering is currently cooking, your food will be sent up with a teleportation device, which none of you can use!  
Sexy._

“Who’s Sue from catering?” Rory asked, just then food appeared, and Jack practically, dived for it. They all sat down to eat.


	4. The Unquiet Dead

“A-maz-ing” Jack said, sighing as he fell into the chair

“I will forever worship Sue from catering” Rory said grinning they were the best chips he had had in ages.

“Okay ready to watch some more?” River asked, happy they had all had a conversation during dinner, and it seemed Rose was warming up to her.

They all sat back and relaxed, waiting for the screen to come on.

**_Mr. Sneed crosses a room where a woman lies dead in her coffin and a man stands over her. The man's name is Redpath. Sneed lights a gas lamp. He walks to the man’s side_ ** **.**

“ooo eerie, I like it!” Jack told the room, and everyone sighed, it was never going to be quiet with Jack there. **  
**

**SNEED: Sneed and Company offer their sincerest condolences, sir. In this most trying hour.**

Jack snorted “Only acting nice because he gets a bunch of money in the pocket”

“I wish I could disagree, but it’s probably true” Rory told him not very happy. **  
**

**REDPATH: Grandmamma had a good innings, Mr. Sneed. She was so full of life. I can't believe she's gone.  
**

**SNEED: Not gone, Mr. Redpath, sir. Merely sleeping.**

Jack, Ianto and Gwen shivered, thinking about how Owen had told them about the darkness. It didn’t go unnoticed by the doctors, who eyes narrowed. **  
**

**_A short silence._   
**

**REDPATH: May I have a moment?  
**

**SNEED: Yes, of course. I shall be in the next room, should you require anything.  
**

**_He leaves Redpath alone with his Grandmother. Redpath, with his head bowed in grief, does not notice the gas enter her dead body and her eyes snap open._ **

“Oh god!” Jack shouted, it was already interesting and they weren’t a minute in!

**_She suddenly grabs Redpath by the neck and throttles him. Mr. Sneed bursts back into the room upon hearing the_ ** **commotion.  
**

**SNEED: Oh, no.**

“So he’s seen it before then?” River asked, knowing the answers the doctors just nodded, realising the Gwen-look-alike. Rose seemed to realise too and she too wondered her reaction. **  
**

**_The old woman twists her grandson's neck around and he falls to the floor. Redpath tries to wrestle the lid back on the coffin._ **

“Feisty one, she is!” Jack said

“You should know” Amy told him, while smiling.

“Oh he does” Ianto muttered so only jack could here, he sent him a flashing smile.

**SNEED:** **Gwyneth! Get down here now! We've got another one!**

**_He is not strong enough to get the lid back on the coffin and the old woman kicks the side off. Mrs Pearce walks from the house, wailing._ **

“wow!” Jack said, a little shocked “that is one freaky dead person”

“What did you expect?” Rory asked him shocked, Jack just shrugged, trying not to think of Owen.

**_Inside the TARDIS, it is mayhem. The whole ship is shaking and alarm is going off._ **

“What did you do?” River asked, sighing, he really was and idiot sometimes.

They both looked shocked stared at each other then simultaneously said “It was her” both pointing at Rose

“Oi, no it wasn’t!” she defended

“Don’t blame it on Rose, I keep telling you, you’re not supposed to leave the breaks on, it’s not healthy for her!” River said referring to the TARDIS.

“Hey, I like it like that!” Eleven told her.

“How do you know anyway? Rose asked the question on everybody from the past’s lips.

“Spoilers” She said mysteriously causing everyone to groan. Eleven thanked the lord that Rose stopped River before she go in another rant, the last one lasted about an hour.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Hold that one down!**

**ROSE:** **I'm HOLDING this one down!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, hold them BOTH down!**

**ROSE:** **It's not going to work!**

“Is she right?” Amy and Gwen asked River who smiled and answered,

“Depends what time period, plus I’m not used to the switches on this TARDIS, I’m only used to the new one” she said sadly, she hated that she didn’t know the old versions of the TARDIS, true the switches were the same, but they all ended up in different places, and it was hard to tell. Ten moodily grunted at the words “new one” He still wasn’t over that. Before he could open his mouth the TV mysteriously started, like the person controlling it didn’t want hear another rant about New TARDIS, and Sonic Screwdriver and Not ginger, again.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oi! I promised you a time machine and that's what you're getting. Now, you've seen the future - let's have a look at the past. 1860. How does 1860 sound?**

**ROSE:** **What happened in 1860?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I don't know, let's find out. Hold on, here we go!**

**_The TARDIS screeches through the time vortex._ **

River clicked her tongue annoyed, refraining from having another go at the Doctors.

**_Mr. Sneed is dabbing at his forehead._ **

**SNEED** **: Gwyneth! Where are you, girl? Gwyneth!**

“Could be nicer” Rose said, with nods from the others.

**_(Gwyneth appears)_ **

“HOLY SHIT”

“WHAT THE HELL”

OH MY GOD”

“HUH?”

Many shouts of shock filled the room; the only people not shouting were Ten, Rose, Eleven and River, who had been used to shocks what with being married to the doctor and all. When everybody had calmed down Gwen asked “Umm doctor what is going on here?”

“Spatial genetic multiplicity” Eleven answered.

“English please?” Rory asked him and ten sighed.

“It means an echo and repetition of physical traits across a Time Rift, you and her, although unrelated grew up near the rift, same as the rest of your ancestors, and you got some of the traits from the rift” He told her. They all took this in for a minute.

Gwen broke the silence by asking “Oh so that’s why you asked whether I came from”

“Yep!” Ten answered.

“It’s funny, how you ended up in torchwood of all places. I mean you’re working near the rift!” River stated, people nodding with her.

“Yeah it’s a funny old world” Eleven repeated his previous self again.

“What is Torchwood?” Rose asked, and Ianto was about to reply when Jack said.

“Spoilers” smirking as River glared at him for stealing her catch phrase, “You’ll find out soon” He told her, ignoring River. Eleven suddenly grew sadder remembering he would have to relive that horrible day. Everybody settled back into their seats, they all seemed to have leaned forward in the conversation. Amy was still confused as to why the doctor got sad when Jack mentioned about Rose finding out about Torchwood.

**SNEED:** **Where've you been? I was shouting!**

**GWYNETH:** **I've been in the stables, sir, bringing the ice for old Sampson.**

**SNEED:** **Well, get back in there and harness him up.**

**GWYNETH:** **Whatever for, sir?**

**SNEED:** **The stiffs are getting lively again.**

“Seems just a tad excited about that doesn’t he?” Rory asked the room, who had frowns on their faces.

**SNEED: Mr. Redpath's grandmother - she's up and on her feet and out there somewhere, on the streets! We've got to find her!**

**GWYNETH:** **Mr. Sneed, for shame! How many more times? It's ungodly!**

“True, but it doesn’t look alien either” Ianto said and jack snorted

“Nothing looks alien until you look at it closely” he answered “I mean look at the doctor’s they look completely human” He finished and the doctors looked outraged.

“HEY” they both shouted, very offended. “We do not look human” ten said, eleven nodding.

“Whatever you say sweetie” River told them and they scowled.

**SNEED:** **Don't look at me like it's _my_ fault! Now come on, hurry up! She was 86. She can't have got far. **

**GWYNETH:** **What about Mr. Redpath? Did you deal with him?**

**SNEED:** **No. She did.**

“I don’t like him much, he doesn’t seem to care” Amy said,

Rory answered “Yeah there’s something about him”

“At least you didn’t have to meet him” Rose told them, and they all looked sympathetic.

**GWYNETH:** **That's awful, sir. I know it's not my place, and please - forgive me for talking out of turn, sir. But this is getting beyond, now. _(Sneed nods)_ Something terrible is happening in this house, and we've got to get help.**

**SNEED:** **And we will! As soon as we get that dead old woman locked up and safe and sound. Now stop prevaricating girl, get the hearse ready. We're going body snatching.**

“Again too excited for my liking” Rory said.

**_The TARDIS materializes on a deserted street. Snow is falling. The controls are steaming and both the Doctor and Rose are lying on the floor laughing._ **

“Happens a lot, doesn’t it?” Rose asked ten who laughed and nodded. Amy was thinking about that too, it did seem to happen a lot in the TARDIS.

**_They get up._ **

**ROSE:** **Blimey!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You're telling me! Are you alright?**

**ROSE:** **Yeah. I think so! Nothing broken... did we make it? Where are we?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(studying the screen)_ ** **I did it! Give the man a medal. Earth - Naples - December 24th, 1860.**

“You shouldn’t be so shocked about the fact that you did that” River told them and they smiled, making her stern glare turn into a grin. ‘Oh you’ She thought to them, they would always do that.

**ROSE:** **That's so weird... it's Christmas.**

“Well at least you get two Christmas’ ” Gwen said grinning, that would be so good.

“Yeah” rose said thinking of her last Christmas with the doctor.

**_The Doctor gestures towards the door._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **All yours.**

**ROSE:** **But, it's like... think about it, though. Christmas. 1860. Happens once. Just once, and it's gone. It's finished. It'll never happen again. Except for you. _(studies him intently)_ You can go back and see days that are dead and gone and a hundred thousand sunsets ago... no wonder you never stay still **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Not a bad life.**

“I’d say”  the room said, apart from eleven and ten, yeah it was amazing, but you lose so many people along the way.

**ROSE:** **Better with two.**

“Definitely” Ten said smiling at Rose.

**_They grin at each other for a few moments. Then Rose slaps his bum and dashes towards the door._ **

“Oh-er” Jack said cocking an eyebrow at them. Everyone just ignored him.

**ROSE:** **Come on then!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oi, oi, oi! Where do you think you're going?!**

**ROSE:** **1860!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Go out there dressed like that, you'll start a riot, Barbarella! There's a wardrobe through there.**

“I love the wardrobe” Amy, Rose and surprisingly River said, all smilling.

Gwen looked interested Rose seeing this told her, “It’s amazing thousands of different outfits, for different time periods, could spend hours in there, just trying everything on and looking at it.” Gwen smiled, that sounded amazing.

**THE DOCTOR: First left, second right, third on the left, go straight ahead, under the stairs, past the bins, it's the fifth door on your left. Hurry up!**

“Definitely in a different place” Amy said sighing.

“Wait please tell me you have the swimming pool” Rory asked ten.

“YES!” Rose said, answering for him “It’s the best I’ve seen!” Rory smiled happy about this.

**_Rose rushes off to get changed. The Doctor grins after her._ **

“You do that a lot you know” Jack told them and they just grinned at him.

**_Sneed and Gwyneth are driving through the streets looking for the old woman._ **

**SNEED:** **Not a sign. Where is she?**

**GWYNETH:** **She's vanished into the ether sir, where can she be?**

**_Sneed stops the hearse and looks at Gwyneth._ **

**SNEED:** **You tell me, girl.**

“She has a name you know” Gwen told the TV furiously.

**GWYNETH:** **What do you mean?**

**SNEED:** **Gwyneth, you know full well.**

**GWYNETH:** **No, sir. I can't.**

**SNEED:** **Use the sight.**

“What sight?” Jack asked anxiously.

**GWYNETH:** **It's not right, sir.**

**SNEED:** **Find the old lady. Or you're dismissed.**

“Now that’s just wrong” Rory said furiously, he couldn’t help but like her.

**_Gwyneth looks anxious._ **

**SNEED:** **Now, look inside, girl. Look deep. Where is she?**

**_Gwyneth closes her eyes._ **

**GWYNETH:** **She's lost, sir. She's so alone. Oh, my lord. So many strange things in her head.**

**SNEED:** **But where?**

**GWYNETH:** **She's excited. About tonight. Before she passed on, she was going to see him.**

**SNEED:** **Who's 'him'?**

**GWYNETH:** **A great man. All the way from London. The great, great man.**

**_There is a knocking at a door. An old man - Charles Dickens is kneading his forehead inside the room._ **

**STAGE MANAGER:** **Mr. Dickens! Mr. Dickens! Excuse me, sir, Mr. Dickens - this is your call.**

“Charles Dickens, the Charles Dickens, you met him?” Rory asked Rose excitedly, Rose nodded, and he looked at her awed.

“Who’s Charles Dickens?” Jack asked and everyone looked at him shocked.

Then Ianto burst out laughing and said “I can’t believe we all thought jack would read” and everyone else laughed, Jack still had a questioning look on his face so Amy, taking pity on him told him:

“A British author, very well known” She told him and he nodded.

**_Mr. Dickens does not respond. The stage manager comes into the room._ **

**STAGE MANAGER:** **Are you quite well, sir?**

**DICKENS:** **Splendid, splendid. Sorry.**

**STAGE MANAGER:** **Time you were on, Sir.**

**DICKENS:** **Absolutely. I was just - brooding. _(stage manager throws him questioning look)_** **Christmas Eve. Not the best of times to be alone.**

**STAGE MANAGER:** **Did no one travel with you, sir? An old lady wife waiting out front?**

**DICKENS:** **I'm afraid not.**

**STAGE MANAGER:** **_(laughs)_ ** **You can have mine if you want.**

The women in the room scowled and Rory just looked mad, the doctors didn’t want to remind them that it was the 1860s and completely different back then.

**DICKENS:** **Oh, I wouldn't dare. I've been rather - let's say - clumsy, with family matters. By God, I'm too old to cause any more trouble.**

**STAGE MANAGER:** **You speak as though it's all over, sir!**

**DICKENS:** **Oh, no, it's never over. On and on I go. The same old show.**

**_They look at the poster announcing his show._ **

**DICKENS:** **I'm like a ghost, condemned to repeat myself... _(stands)_ for all eternity.**

**STAGE MANAGER:** **It's never too late, sir. You could always think up some new turns.**

**DICKENS:** **No, I can't. Even my imagination grows stale. _(takes long swig of drink)_ I'm an old man. Perhaps I've thought everything I'll ever think. Still! The lure of the lime-light! As potent as a pipe what, eh?  _(Stage manager helps him change his jacket)_ On with the show. **

“Not very cheery is he?” Rory said a little disappointed.

Amy just stared at him and started laughing “I can’t believe your hero is Charles Dickens!”

However she stopped when eleven interrupted her and said “Hey he’s a great, great man!” he told her and then turned to Rory “Once we get out of this, your meeting him!” He told him and Rory’s face lit up and he turned to Amy and did the responsible thing by sticking out his tongue at her.

**_In the TARDIS, the Doctor is doing some more unnecessary repair work. Rose swans in and he turns off his sonic screwdriver and looks at her in surprise._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Blimey!**

“No need to sound so surprised” She told ten and he shook his head. He would never be surprised by her beauty. 

**ROSE:** **Don't laugh!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You look beautiful!**

Many people nodded in agreement and Rose turned bright red and looked down.

**_Rose stops laughing and smiles instead. There is a pause and the Doctor looks away awkwardly._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **considering.**

**_He turns on his screwdriver again._ **

**ROSE:** **Considering what?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That you're human!**

“You never change” River said shaking her head.

**ROSE:** **_(amused)_ ** **I THINK that's a compliment... Aren't you going to change?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I've changed my jumper! Come on!**

“It’s not a very nice jumper.” Jack told them and they again, looked offended.

“HA you can talk” Ten said to Jack

“What?” he asked

“The blue trench coat” He said

“Hey, that’s an amazing coat and you can hardly talk, with the brown one you’ve got and you,” he turned to eleven. “What is it with the awful bow ties?” He asked

“Bow ties are cool” He stated and Jack started laughing, Ten and eleven eventually joining in.

“He’s gone mad” Ianto whispered to Gwen about Jack.

Rory, Amy and Rose were thinking the exact same thing when River laughed musically. Everyone turned to her and she just said “Men” all the women agreed, and the men looked at them. Realising what had happened, the three just sat down acting as though nothing happened. After the amount of crazy there was an awkward silence when the TV played. **(A/N I don’t know what happened there, i guess I just got bored)**

**_He jumps out of the space beneath the controls._ **

**ROSE:** **You, stay there! You've done this before. This is mine!**

**_She hurries towards the door and opens it. Rose looks out onto the 1860 street. She makes one footprint in the untouched snow then withdraws her foot again. Then she steps out altogether. The Doctor follows her._ **

“I’ll never get over that feeling” River sighed and continued after getting questioning looks “The feeling of stepping into a different time, into a different world not knowing what could happen” Her look grew dreamy as did many others.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Ready for this?**

**_She smiles and he offers her his arm. She takes it._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Here we go. History!**

**_They walk off together. The curtains open for Dickens' show. The audience applaud. The dead old woman is sitting slap bang in the middle of them._ **

“Damn forgot about her in all of this excitement” Jack told them and they all rolled their eyes.

**_The Doctor and Rose walk down the street, observing everything - Rose in amazement, the Doctor with his usual grin on his face. He walks in another direction and Rose follows. There are carol singers in the background. Sneed and Gwyneth arrive at the theatre._ **

**GWYNETH:** **She's in there, sir, I'm certain of it.**

“What is it with her?” Jack asked but the doctors and Rose wouldn’t answer.

**_They alight from the hearse. Not far away, the Doctor is buying a newspaper. He unfolds it and scans it._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I got the flight a bit wrong.**

“Don’t you always?” Amy asked and yet again they looked offended **(A/N I plan on this happening, a lot)**

**ROSE:** **I don't care.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's not 1860, it's 1869.**

River just sighed, all the time.

**ROSE:** **I don't care!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **And it's not Naples.**

**ROSE:** **I don't care.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's Cardiff.**

**ROSE:** **_(pauses)_ ** **Right**

“Hey there’s nothing wrong with Cardiff” Gwen defended her home town.

**_Dickens is talking to a rapt audience._ **

**DICKENS:** **Now, it is a fact, that there was nothing particular about the knocker on the door of this house.**

“Ah, A Christmas Carol, my favourite” Rory said and Amy sighed.

“You know it too well, if you know it from a sentence” She told him but he didn’t answer.

**DICKENS: But let any man explain to me if he can, how it happened, that Scrooge, having his key in the lock of the door, saw in the knocker, without it's undergoing any intermediate process of change, not a knocker - but Marley's face. _(audience gasp)_ Marley's face! It looked at Scrooge as Marley used to look. It looked like...**

**_The gas is escaping from the old woman. Dickens, seeing as how he is the only one facing the audience, is the only one to notice._ **

**DICKENS:** **Oh, my lord! It looked... like that! _(points a trembling finger at the old woman)_ What phantasmagoria is this? **

**_The woman has risen in her seat. She lets out a long, loud wail. The audience scream and trample each other in their hurry to get away. The Doctor and Rose hear the screaming. The Doctor grins._ **

“Of course” half the room sighed.

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's more like it!**

**_He tosses the newspaper over his shoulder and runs in the direction of the screaming. Rose follows. Dickens is desperately trying to get his audience to sit down again._ **

**DICKENS:** **Stay in your seats, I beg you. It is a lantern show, it's trickery.**

**_Sneed and Gwyneth are struggling against the crowds to enter._ **

**GWYNETH:** **There she is, sir!**

**SNEED:** **I can see that!**

**_The gas zooms around the room._ **

**SNEED:** **The whole bloomin' world can see that!**

**_The Doctor and Rose enter. They watch the gas zoom around._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Fantastic.**

“FANTASTIC” The two shouted, ignoring the exasperated looks on everyone else’s faces.

**_The last of the gas leaves the old woman's mouth and she slumps back in the chair, just a dead body once more. The Doctor approaches Mr. Dickens._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Did you see where it came from?**

**DICKENS:** **Ah. The wag reveals himself, does he? I trust you're satisfied, sir!**

**_The Doctor looks slightly taken aback._ **

**ROSE:** **Oi! Leave her alone!**

**_Sneed and Gwyneth are making off with the old woman's body._ **

**ROSE:** **Doctor, I'll get 'em!**

“Be careful” Ten told her and Rose just laughed, he would never change.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Be careful!**

So did River, Oh Doctor, will you ever change? She thought.

**THE DOCTOR: _(jumps onto stage)_** **Did it say anything? Could it speak? I'm The Doctor, by the way.**

**DICKENS:** **Doctor? You look more like a navy.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(indignantly)_ ** **What's WRONGwith this jumper?**

“Everything” Jack told them and they huffed.

**_Gwyneth and Sneed have successfully loaded the body into the back of the hearse. Rose catches up with them._ **

**ROSE:** **What're you doing?!**

**GWYNETH:** **Oh, it's such a tragedy, miss. Don't worry yourself, me and the master will deal with it. _(tries to bar Rose from seeing inside the hearse)_ The fact is, this poor lady's been taken with the brain fever and we have to get her to the infirmary. **

**_Rose pushes Gwyneth aside and feels the old woman's forehead._ **

**ROSE:** **She's cold... she's dead! My God, what did you do to her?**

**_Sneed approaches her silently from behind and clamps a tissue full of a drug, probably chloroform, to her mouth. She struggles for a few seconds and then goes limp._ **

There were looks of outrage on everyone’s faces not many had known Rose for long, but they all cared for her.

**GWYNETH:** **_(shocked)_ ** **What did you do that for?**

**SNEED:** **She's seen too much. Get her in the hearse!**

Amy shivered “I can’t believe you travelled in a hearse with a dead person”

**_Gwyneth bends down to pick up Rose's legs. The blue gas is still zooming around inside. It dives into one of the gas lamps and disappears._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Gas! It's made of gas!**

“Took you a while” Jack grinned at the doctors who just ignored him, again.

**_By the time the Doctor comes down the steps of the theatre, Gwyneth has just finished pushing Rose's head out of sight into the hearse. She slams the door shut._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Rose!**

**_He runs towards the hearse._ **

**DICKENS:** **You're not escaping me, sir! What do you know about that hobgoblin, hm?**

**_The hearse drives away. The Doctor stares after it._ **

**DICKENS:** **Projection on glass, I suppose. Who put you up to it?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yeah, mate. Not now, thanks.**

**_The Doctor spots a coach and runs towards it, shouting to the driver._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oi, you! Follow that hearse!**

“Bit demanding aint ya?” Jack asked the doctors who yet again ignored him, Oh great, Jack thought, two stubborn doctors ignoring me, this is just going to be dandy.

**_He jumps into the coach._ **

**DICKENS:** **You can't do that, sir!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Why not?**

**DICKENS:** **Why not?! I'll give you a very good reason why not! This is my coach!**

“of course” River said rolling her eyes, what was about them two and getting famous writers/authors into danger?

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, get in then! _(pulls Dickens in. To the driver-)_ Move!**

**_The coach rumbles off._ **

**DRIVER:** **Everything in order, Mr. Dickens?**

**DICKENS:** **No! It is not!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **What did he say?**

“Bet that shocked you” Jack said laughing, still the doctors didn’t answer, this was insufferable.

**DICKENS:** **Let me say this first. I'm not without a sense of humour—**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Dickens?**

**DICKENS:** **Yes.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Charles Dickens?**

**DICKENS:** **Yes.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **THECharles Dickens?**

**DRIVER:** **Shall I remove the gentleman, sir?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Charles Dickens! You're brilliant, you are! Completely 100% brilliant! I've read 'em all! Great Expectations, Oliver Twist and what's the other one, the one with the ghost?**

“I agree one hundred percent with you there Doc” Rory told them then added “Oh and The Signal Man, another great one, scary too”

**DICKENS:** **A Christmas Carol?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No, no, no, the one with the trains... The Signal Man, that's it, terrifying! _(Dickens looks pleased)_ The best short story ever written! You're a genius! **

“Agreed” Rory once again said and both doctors looked extremely pleased that they at least had someone who knew books travelling with them. Eleven made a mental note to find out all of his favourite authors and let him meet them personally.

**DRIVER:** **You want me to get rid of him, sir?**

**DICKENS:** **Er, no, I think he can stay.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Honestly, Charles - can I call you Charles? I'm such a big fan.**

“Probably not as big as Rory” Amy told eleven “I don’t think I Know anyone who knows more about him”

“Oh we’ll see soon” Ten said smiling maliciously, it was on.

**DICKENS:** **what? A what?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Fan! Number One Fan, that's me.**

“Please” Rory said laughing.

**DICKENS:** **How exactly are you a fan? In what way do you resemble a means of keeping oneself cool?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No, it means 'Fanatic', devoted to. Mind you, I've gotta say, that American bit in Martin Chuzzlewit, what was that about?! Was that just padding or what? I mean, it's rubbish, that bit.**

“Actually gotta agree with you there” Rory told them and they all smiled. Everyone else was looking at the three like they were obsessed fan girls. In fact Amy was expecting them to start jumping up and down, clapping their hands soon.

**DICKENS** **: _(disgruntled)_ I thought you said you were my fan. **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Ah, well, if you can't take criticism... go on, do the death of Little Nell, it cracks me up. No, sorry, come on, faster!**

**_The driver urges the horses on._ **

**DICKENS:** **Who exactly IS in that hearse?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **My friend. She's only nineteen, and it's my fault. She's in my care, and now she's in danger.**

“I’m not a chid you know” Rose told the doctor “I don’t need looking after all the time” Ten looked like he completely disagreed but refrained from saying so, a mad Rose wasn’t fun.

**DICKENS:** **Why are we wasting my time talking about dry old books? This is much more important. Driver! Be swift! The chase is on!**

**DRVIER:** **Yes, sir!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(delighted)_ ** **Thatta boy, Charlie!**

**DICKENS:** **Nobody calls me Charlie.**

“The ladies do” Rory said and Jack looked a bit freaked.

Okay you’re like borderline stalker now” He told Rory who laughed.

“Look just because I like to find out as many facts of a person who is amazing as possible, it does not mean I am a stalker!” **(A/N it doesn’t have had this fight with many friends, I am not a stalker, I swear)** He told the room, and everyone just looked amused.

Except Amy who told him “And you wonder why I thought you were gay”

Jacks head snapped up “You mean he isn’t” He asked disappointed

“I’m married” Rory told him

“Doesn’t mean you weren’t just covering up” Jack told him winking. River was feeling particularly sick and begged for the TV to start and for Jack to shut up about her dad.

**THE DOCTOR:** **The ladies do.**

“OMG there’s two of them!” Ianto said shocked

“Don’t you mean three?” Amy asked

“Well, in real life there’s only one doctor and one Rory, so no two

“In this room there’s two doctors though and if you think about all throughout time there’s been what eleven doctors, so it could be twelve of them”

“Yeah but, there is only one person, there are just different versions of one person”

“I still think-” But ten interrupted her

“Let’s leave this until later shall we?” He asked exasperated, he hated having this argument, it had never been resolved and it was just pointless.

**DICKENS:** **How do you know that?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I told you - I'm your Number One—**

**DICKENS:** **Number One Fan, yes...**

**_Gwyneth and Sneed have one end each of Rose. They settle her down on a table that is evidently used for dead bodies. They leave the room, shutting and locking Rose in. A gas lamp flickers. There is a knock on the door. They both look up, alarmed._ **

**SNEED:** **Say I'm not in. Tell them we're closed. Just - just get rid of them.**

**_Rose wakes up. She looks slightly out of sorts, and does not notice when the gas from the lamps fills the corpse of Redpath. He sits up suddenly. Dickens knocks on the door again and Gwyneth opens it._ **

**GWYNETH:** **I'm sorry, sir, we're closed.**

**DICKENS:** **Nonsense! Since when did an undertaker keep office hours? The dead don't die on schedule. I demand to see your master.**

**GWYNETH:** **He's not in, sir.**

**_She makes to shut the door, but Dickens forces it open again._ **

**DICKENS:** **_(angrily)_ ** **Don't lie to me, child!**

“So rude” someone said, although it was hard to tell since it was whispered angrily.

**GWYNETH:** **I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Dickens, but the mater's indisposed.**

**_Behind her, a gas lamp flares up._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Having trouble with your gas?**

**DICKENS:** **What the Shakespeare is going on?**

“Nice I might say that, but instead of saying Shakespeare I’m gonna say doctor” Jack said grinning, the doctor’s just looked proud. River however sighed, slightly annoyed, so that was where he got that awful catchphrase from

**_Rose suddenly notices the corpse behind her. She jumps in alarm as he starts making zombie noises at her._ **

**ROSE:** **Are you all right? You're kidding me, yeah? You're just kidding.**

**_He climbs out of the coffin._ **

**ROSE:** **You are, you're kidding me, aren't ya?**

**_He takes staggering steps towards her._ **

**ROSE:** **Okay, not kidding.**

They all laugh at her and Rose just puts, which makes ten laugh harder.

**_She runs to the door and tries to open it. The Doctor forces his way in and presses his ear to the wall._ **

**GWYNETH:** **You're not allowed inside, sir!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **There's something inside the walls.**

**_Rose backs against the door. The old woman's body rises from the other coffin and Rose gaps._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **The gas pipes. Something's living inside the gas.**

**_Rose lobs a vase at Redpath. It does nothing but cause him to stumble slightly. Rose rattles the handle frantically._ **

**ROSE:** **Let me out! Open the door!**

“Why is it always you stuck inside the room?” Ten asks her and she just smiles, River however was wondering, if this was a reoccurring theme then was this perhaps something that was going to become major. River started laughing silently, it was like she was reading a book.

**_Gwyneth, the Doctor and Dickens hear her. Gwyneth closes her eyes in dismay._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's her.**

**_He runs off to her rescue. Dickens’s follows._ **

**ROSE:** **Please, let me out!**

**_Both corpses are walking towards her. The Doctor charges past Sneed._ **

**SNEED:** **This is my house!**

**_Dickens charges past him too. He shakes his finger at Gwyneth as she runs after them_ **

**SNEED:** **I told you!**

“Not.her.fault2 Gwen said angrily, she was starting to like the girl, and felt she was like family, well she did look like her.

**_Rose is still hammering on the door as the corpses get closer and closer._ **

**ROSE:** **Let me out! Somebody, open the door! Open the door!**

**_Redpath clasps a hand over her mouth, muffling her scream. At that moment, the Doctor kicks the door in._ **

“Haha, doesn’t do wood” Jack laughed and both doctors glared.

“Hey leave the sonic alone” Ten seethed, which made Jack grin wider.

**THE DOCTOR:** **I think this is MY dance.**

“Please, please don’t dance” Amy begged, which made everyone laugh.

**_He releases Rose from Redpath's grip._ **

**DICKENS:** **It's a prank? It must be. We're under some mesmeric influence.**

“No imagination at all” Rose said as Rory sighed.

“Says you” Eleven told her Amy just whacked over the head, and the rest just laugh. Ten was not looking forward to all the reoccurring slapping from the scary ginger. 

**THE DOCTOR:** **No, we're not. The dead are walking. _(grins down at the panting Rose)_ Hi!**

**ROSE:** **Hi! Who's your friend?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Charles Dickens.**

**ROSE:** **Oh. Okay.**

“Oh god I love you, you know” Jack told Rose then elaborated “You nearly get killed by a dead person, and find out some famous author Charles Dickens is there, and all you say is okay.” He shook his head laughing. Meanwhile Rory was going over Jacks words “Some famous author” kept repeating in his head.

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(to the corpses)_ ** **My name's the Doctor. Who are you, then? What do you want?**

**REDPATH:** **We're failing. Open the rift, we're dying. Trapped in this form - cannot sustain - help us.**

**_Both Redpath and his grandmother raise their heads to the ceiling. The blue gas leaves them with a wailing sound and both corpses fall to the floor. Gwyneth is pouring them all tea while Rose is having a go at Sneed._ **

**ROSE:** **First of all you drug me, then you kidnap me, and don't think I didn't feel your hands having a quick wander, you dirty old man.**

“Urgh,” Gwen and Amy said, and ten looked quite angry. Eleven also looks angry but not as much as ten.

**_The Doctor sniggers._ **

Amy ponders for a moment thinking of the three different doctors reactions, it then clicks in, Oh.My,God, she thinks as she realises.

**SNEED:** **I won't be spoken to like this!**

**ROSE:** **Then you stuck me in a room full of zombies! And if that ain't enough - you swan off! And leave me to die! So come on - talk!**

“Definitely not one to mess with” Ianto whispers to Jack, who just laughs and replies “Which is why it’s so fun”

**SNEED:** **It's not my fault, it's this house! It always had a reputation. Haunted. But I never had much bother until a few months back. And then the stiffs—**

**_Dickens looks mildly offended._ **

As did those in the room.

**SNEED:** **the er, dear departed started getting restless.**

**DICKENS:** **Tommyrot.**

**SNEED:** **You witnessed it! Can't keep the beggars down, sir! They walk. And it's the queerest thing that they hang on to scraps...**

**_Gwyneth gives the Doctor his tea._ **

**GWYNETH:** **Two sugars, sir, just how you like it.**

**_The Doctor looks at her retreating back curiously._ **

**SNEED:** **One old fella who used to be a sexton almost walked into his own memorial service! Just like the old lady going to your performance, sir! Just as she planned.**

**DICKENS:** **Morbid fancy.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh, Charles, you were there.**

**DICKENS:** **I saw nothing but an illusion.**

The doctors sighed, they hated stubborn, narrow minded people.

**THE DOCTOR:** **If you're going to deny it, don't waste my time. Just shut up.**

**_Dickens is stunned._ **

As did Rory “You told Charles Dickens to shut up?” He asked the doctors who nodded smiling.

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(to Sneed)_ ** **What about the gas?**

**SNEED:** **That's new, sir, never seen anything like that.**

**HE DOCTOR:** **Means it's getting stronger, the rift's getting wider and something's sneaking through.**

**ROSE:** **What's the rift?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **A weak point in time and space. The connection between this place and another. That's the cause of ghost stories, most of the time.**

“Seems to be smaller back then” Ianto whispered to Jack who just nods.

Gwen however answered, “Yeah it’s been expanding for decades, it just keeps getting bigger.”

**_After this, the doctor and Sneed have a conversation about the house, and Charles Dickens is looking for signs of trickery, he finds none and the doctor apologizes for telling him to shut up._ **

“Thank god” Rory muttered when he saw this o the screen.

**_Gwyneth is lighting another gas lamp when Rose comes in and starts washing up._ **

**GWYNETH:** **Please, Miss! You shouldn't be helping! It's not right!**

**ROSE:** **Don't be daft. Sneed works you to death. _(hands her the cloth to dry up)_ How much do you get paid? **

**GWYNETH:** **Eight pound a year, miss.**

**ROSE:** **That much?**

**GWYNETH:** **I know. I would've been happy with six.**

**_Rose looks dumbfounded._ **

“Forgot about the money for a minute there” She said chuckling at her past self.

**ROSE:** **So, did you go to school or what?**

**GWYNETH:** **Of course I did. What do you think I am? An urchin? I went every Sunday. Nice and proper.**

**ROSE:** **What - once a week?**

**GWYNETH:** **We did sums and everything. To be honest, I hated every second.**

**ROSE:** **Me too.**

“Me three” Amy, Gwen and River replied, they all just laughed. River still loved the fact she saw her parents grow up though.

**_They both laugh._ **

**GWYNETH:** **_(as if this is completely outrageous)_ ** **Don't tell anyone, but one week, I didn't go and ran on the heath all on my own!**

**ROSE:** **I did plenty of that. I used to go down the shops with my mate Shareen. And we used to go and look at boys!**

“Ah Shareen” Jack said thinking of the old party girl he knew.

**_Gwyneth stops laughing at once and looks scandalized._ **

**GWYNETH:** **Well, I don't know much about that, miss.**

**_She turns back to the washing up._ **

**ROSE:** **Come on, times haven't changed that much! I bet you've done the same.**

**GWYNETH:** **I don't think so, miss.**

**ROSE:** **Gwyneth! You can tell me! Bet you've got your eye on someone.**

**GWYNETH:** **I suppose. There is one lad...**

**_Rose looks extremely chuffed._ **

**GWYNETH:** **The butcher’s boy. He comes by every Tuesday. Such a lovely smile on him!**

**ROSE:** **Oh, I like a nice smile. Good smile, nice bum.**

Everyone laughed and the doctors felt extremely uncomfortable. Ten was wondering what the hell was happening  to him

**_Again, Gwyneth looks shocked._ **

**GWYNETH:** **Well, I have never heard the like!**

**_Rose just laughs. Then, Gwyneth laughs too._ **

**ROSE:** **Ask him out! Give him a cup of tea or something, that's a start.**

“Texting and scones” Rory muttered to Amy who giggled. **(A/N Again, MOFFAT *Shakes fist* I’m pretty sure they remember but still not sure)**

**GWYNETH:** **I swear, it is the strangest thing, miss. You've got all the clothes and the breeding but you talk like some sort of wild thing!**

**ROSE:** **_(shrugs)_ ** **Maybe I am. Maybe that's a good thing. You need a bit more in your life than Mr Sneed.**

**GWYNETH:** **Ah, now that's not fair. He's not so bad, old Sneed. He was very kind to me to take me in. Because I lost my mum and dad to the flu when I was twelve.**

**ROSE:** **Oh, I'm sorry.**

**GWYNETH:** **Thank you, miss. But I'll be with them again, one day. Sitting with them in paradise. I should be so blessed. They're waiting for me. Maybe your dad's up there waiting for you too, miss.**

“How does she know that?” nearly everyone asked, shocked, yet again. The others just stayed silet, which made the rest groan in annoyance.

**ROSE:** **Maybe. _(nods, then realises)_ Um, who told you he was dead? **

**_Gwyneth realises what she has said and turns quickly back to the washing up._ **

**GWYNETH:** **_(lightly)_ ** **I don't know, must've been the Doctor.**

“Nope” Jack said, wondering what the hell was up.

**ROSE:** **My father died years back.**

“Or forward” Ianto said.

**GWYNETH:** **You've been thinking about him lately, more than ever.**

**ROSE:** **I s'pose so... how do you know all this?**

**GWYNETH:** **Mr. Sneed says I think too much. I'm all alone down here. I bet you've got dozens of servants, haven't you miss.**

**_They laugh._ **

**ROSE:** **No, no servants where I'm from.**

**GWYNETH:** **And you've come such a long way.**

**ROSE:** **What makes you think so?**

**GWYNETH:** **You're from London. I've seen London in drawings, but never like that. _(stares at Rose intently)_ All those people rushing about. Half naked, for shame. And the noise... and the metal boxes racing past... and the birds in the sky... they're metal as well. Metal birds with people in them. People flying. And you - you've flown so far, further than anyone! The things you've seen... the darkness... the big bad wolf - - **

The three looked at each other again, Jack joining in this time, they were sure it wasn’t so obvious.

**_GWYNETH:(staggers backwards, afraid)_ ** **I'm sorry! I'm sorry, miss!**

**ROSE:** **S'alright...**

**GWYNETH:** **I can't help it - ever since I was a little girl. My mum said I had the sight. She told me to hide it!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **But it's getting stronger. More powerful, is that right?**

**_Rose and Gwyneth both jump as they turn to see the Doctor standing in the doorway._ **

**GWYNETH:** **All the time, sir. Every night. Voices in my head.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You grew up on top of the rift. You're part of it. You're the key.**

**GWYNETH:** **I've tried to make sense of it, sir. Consulted with spiritualists, table wrappers, all sorts.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, that should help. You can show us what to do.**

**GWYNETH:** **What to do where, sir?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **We're going to have a séance.**

“ooo spooky” Jack said laughing.

**_They are all sat around a table._ **

**GWYNETH:** **This is how Madam Mortlock summons those from the Land of Mists. Down in Mid Town. Come. We must all join hands.**

**DICKENS:** **I can't take part in this.**

**_He gets up._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Humbug? Come on, open mind.**

**DICKENS:** **This is precisely the sort of cheap mummery I try to un-mask. Séances? Nothing but luminous tambourines and a squeeze box concealed between the knees. This girl knows nothing.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Now, don't antagonize her. I love a happy medium.**

“I can’t believe you just said that” River said to the doctors who shrugged.

**ROSE:** **I can't believe you just said that.**

They all laugh, and Rose wonders whether it is a good thing, them being sort of alike.

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(to Dickens)_ ** **Come on, we might need you.**

**_Dickens sits down again._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Good man. Now, Gwyneth. Reach out.**

**GWYNETH:** **Speak to us. Are you there? Spirits?**

**_Dickens rolls his eyes._ **

“Some people just don’t believe It’s so sad” Jack said, pretending to wipe a tear, they all just rolled their eyes.

**GWYNETH:** **Come. Speak to us that we may relieve your burden.**

**_She raises her eyes to the ceiling. A murmuring fills the room._ **

**ROSE:** **Can you hear that?**

**DICKENS:** **Nothing can happen. This is sheer folly.**

**ROSE:** **Look at her.**

**GWYNETH:** **I feel them. I feel them!**

**_The gas creatures begin to fill the room._ **

**ROSE:** **What're they saying?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **They can't get through the rift. Gwyneth, it's not controlling you, you're controlling it. Now look deep. Allow them through.**

**GWYNETH:** **I can't!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes you can. Just believe it. I have faith in you, Gwyneth. Make the link.**

**_Gwyneth looks almost pained. Then suddenly, she lowers her head and opens her eyes._ **

**GWYNETH:** **Yes.**

**_Three gaseous figures appear behind her - the Gelth. Dickens' mouth drops open._ **

**SNEED:** **Great God. Sprits from the other side!**

“Other side of the Universe” Jack said and the doctors looked shocked again.

**THE DOCTOR:** **The other side of the universe.**

Everyone just laughed at the doctors expressions, who were thinking exactly the same thing ‘this is bad, so very bad, I can’t think like him’

“wow second time doctor, maybe your more like jack then you thought” Rose laughed at them, others joining in, again, because of the looks their faces, which had turned worse.

**GELTH:** **Pity us. Pity the Gelth. There is so little time, help us.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **What do you want us to do?**

**GELTH:** **The rift. Take the girl to the rift. Make the bridge.**

“Don’t trust them” River said wisely, she had seen enough to know not everyone could be trusted.

**THE DOCTOR:** **What for?**

**GELTH:** **We are so very few. The last of our kind. We face extinction.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Why, what happened?**

**GELTH:** **Once we had a physical form like you. But then the war came.**

**DICKENS:** **War? What war?**

**GELTH:** **The Time War.**

The Doctors just sighed, that war ruined practically everything.

**_The Doctor and Rose glance at each other._ **

As did everyone in the room, except from Ianto and Gwen who had no idea what the time war was.

**GELTH:** **The whole universe convulsed. The Time War raged invisible to smaller species but devastating to higher forms. Our bodies wasted away. We're trapped in this gaseous state.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **So that's why you need the corpses.**

**GELTH:** **We want to stand tall. To feel the sunlight. To live again. We need a physical form, and your dead are abandoned. They're going to waste, give them to us!**

**ROSE:** **But we can't!**

“Why not?” Jack asked all of the others just looked annoyed.

“Um it’s disrespectful” Rory said

“They’re not our bodies to give” Amy added

“And I don’t particularly like the idea of dead people walking around the streets of London” Gwen told him. River agreed with them but with a different point, she did not trust the Gelth, at all.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Why not?**

**ROSE:** **It's not... I mean, it's not...**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Not decent? Not polite? It could save their lives.**

**_They stare at each other for a moment._ **

**GELTH:** **Open the rift. Let the Gelth through. We're dying. Help us. Pity the Gelth!**

**_They disappear and Gwyneth collapses forwards onto the table. Rose gets up immediately and goes to her._ **

**ROSE:** **Gwyneth!**

**DICKENS:** **All true.**

**ROSE:** **_(to Gwyneth)_ ** **Are you okay?**

**DICKENS:** **It's all true.**

**_The Doctor is silent. Rose is mopping Gwyneth's forehead as she lies asleep on a couch. Slowly, her eyes open. She fidgets._ **

**ROSE:** **It's alright. You just sleep.**

**GWYNETH:** **But my angels miss.**

Jack snorted “you know what, your right River, I don’t trust them either” The doctors were annoyed, everyone deserves a chance don’t they?

**GWYNETH: They came, didn't they? They need me?**

**_The Doctor is leaning on a wall just behind Rose._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **They do need you, Gwyneth. You're they're only chance of survival.**

**ROSE:** **_(turns angrily)_ ** **I've told you, leave her alone. She's exhausted and she's not fighting your battles.**

Many others smile at Rose to show their appreciation that she was being nice to her.

**_The Doctor leans his head back and sighs. Rose turns back to Gwyneth and offers her a drink._ **

**ROSE:** **Drink this.**

**SNEED:** **Well, what did you say, Doctor? Explain it again. What are they?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Aliens.**

**SNEED:** **Like... foreigners, you mean?**

“Well, that’s one way to put it” Jack said chuckling.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Pretty foreign, yeah. From up there.**

**_He points skywards._ **

**SNEED:** **Brecon?**

Jack laughed again, with others.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Close. They've been trying to get through from Brecon to Cardiff but the road's blocked. Only a few can get through and even then they're weak. They can only test drive the bodies for so long, then they have to revert to gas and hide in the pipes.**

**DICKENS:** **Which is why they need the girl.**

**ROSE:** **They're not having her.**

“I don’t think it’s going to work” Amy told Rose “He can me unnaturally stubborn when he wants to be”

“Tell me about it” Both River and Rose said at the same time. They both smiled at each other, along with the doctors.

**THE DOCTOR:** **But she can help. Living on the rift, she's become part of it, she can open it up, make a bridge and let them through.**

**DICKENS:** **Incredible. Ghosts that are not ghosts but beings from another world who can only exist in our world by inhabiting cadavers.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Good system. It might work.**

**_Rose gets up and walks over to the Doctor._ **

**ROSE:** **You can't let them run around inside dead people!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Why not? It's like recycling.**

“I really don’t like the idea” Amy said shaking her head.

“Me either” Gwen told her, while Ianto was considering it.

“But if it helps the Gelth” He said but was cut off by Amy

“but at what price I mean we have dead people walking around, all of them Gelth, meaning they will take over our planet, maybe even reproduce, and what is they’re lying, what if they’re version of small in numbers are a couple of hundred million? What then? What is they run out of dead bodies?”River smiled she was thinking the same thing, jack was impressed and once again the doctors were angry, they didn’t really have time to think it through, and even if they did, they still would have done it, everyone deserved a chance.

**ROSE:** **Seriously though, you can't.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Seriously though, I can.**

**ROSE:** **It's just... wrong! Those bodies were living people! We should respect them even in death!**

“Exactly” Rory said

**THE DOCTOR:** **Do you carry a donor card?**

“That’s different” Gwen said

**ROSE:** **That's different, that's—**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It is different, yeah. It's a different morality. Get used to it or go home. _(Rose is silent. He speaks in softer tones -)_ You heard what they said, time's short. I can't worry about a few corpses when the last of the Gelth could be dying. **

**ROSE:** **I don't care, they're not using her.**

**GWYNETH:** **Don't I get a say, miss?**

**_Both Rose and the Doctor turn to look at her._ **

**ROSE:** **Look. You don't understand what's going on.**

**GWYNETH:** **You would say that miss. Because that's very clear inside your head, that you think I'm stupid.**

“Hey” Amy protested, she knew what rose was thinking, and it wasn’t that.

**ROSE:** **That's not fair!**

**GWYNETH:** **It's true, though. Things might be very different where you're from. But here and now, I know my own mind. And the angels need me. Doctor, what do I have to do?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You don't HAVE to do anything.**

**GWYNETHL:** **They've been singing to me since I was a child. Sent by my mum on a holy mission. So tell me.**

**_The Doctor smiles at her._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **We need to find the rift. _(approaches Sneed and Dickens)_ This house is on a weak spot, so there must be a spot that's weaker than any other. Mr. Sneed. What's the weakest part of this house? The place where most of the ghosts have been seen? **

**SNEED:** **That would be the Morgue.**

**ROSE:** **_(still disgruntled)_ ** **No chance you were gonna say 'gazebo', was there?**

Everyone just stared at her.

**_Everyone looks at her. The key turns in the Morgue, and they all troupe in, led by the Doctor._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Talk about Bleak House.**

**ROSE:** **The thing is, Doctor - the Gelth don't succeed. 'Cause I know they don't. I know for a fact there weren't corpses walking around in 1869.**

Ten looked like he was going to say something but Rose just said “Yeah I know, time is in flux, heard it all before” She waving him off smiling.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Time's in flux. It's changing every second. Your cozy little world could be rewritten like that. _(clicks his fingers)_ Nothing is safe. Remember that. Nothing. **

**DICKENS:** **Doctor - I think the room is getting colder.**

**ROSE:** **Here they come.**

**_The Gelth flood into the room. Their leader positions itself in an archway. It has the voice of a child._ **

“Well I guess it’s good you gave them a chance” Amy said, for everyone deserved a chance, she just couldn’t get over the feeling that something was wrong and she knew for certain that there weren’t dead bodies walking on earth for the past one hundred and forty years.

**GELTH:** **You have come to help! Praise the Doctor! Praise him!**

**ROSE** **: Promise you won't hurt her!**

**GELTH:** **Hurry! Please. So little time. Pity the Gelth.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'll take you somewhere else after the transfer. Somewhere you can build proper bodies. This isn't a permanent solution, alright?**

**GWYNETH:** **My angels. I can help them live.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Okay, where's the weak point?**

**GELTH:** **Here, beneath the arch.**

**_Gwyneth positions herself beneath the arch._ **

**GWYNETH:** **Beneath the arch.**

**_Rose rushes to her._ **

**ROSE:** **You don't have to do this.**

**_Gwyneth places her hands on Rose's cheeks._ **

**GWYNETH:** **My angels.**

**_Rose staggers backwards._ **

**GELTH:** **Establish the bridge, reach out of the void, let us through!**

**GWYNETH:** **Yes. I can see you! I can see you! Come!**

**GELTH:** **Bridgehead establishing.**

**GWYNETH:** **Come! Come to me! Come to this world, poor lost souls!**

**GELTH:** **It is begun! The bridge is made!**

**_Gwyneth's mouth opens and the Gelth pour out of it._ **

**GELTH:** **She has given herself to the Gelth!**

**DICKENS:** **There's rather a lot of them, eh?**

**GELTH:** **The bridge is open. We descend.**

**_Suddenly, the figure becomes demonic. The gas turns from blue to red._ **

**GELTH:** **The Gelth will come through in force.**

“if that’s little in number then…” Jack trailed off.

**DICKENS:** **You said that you were _few_ in number! **

**GELTH:** **A few billion. And all of us in need of corpses.**

“BILLION?” Amy asks horror-struck

**_The bodies rise._ **

**SNEED:** **Gwyneth... stop this! Listen to your master! This has gone far enough. Stop dabbling, child, leave these things alone. I beg of you—**

**ROSE:** **Mr. Sneed! Get back!**

**_A corpse grabs Sneed from behind and holds him still while another of the Gelth fills his body through his mouth. The Doctor and Rose leap back. Mr Sneed looks up at them through blank, dead eyes._ **

Everyone shudders, they may not have liked him but they did not deserve that.

**THE DOCTOR:** **I think it's gone a little bit wrong.**

**SNEED:** **I have joined the legions of the Gelth. Come. March with us.**

**DICKENS:** **No!**

**_The corpses advance on the Doctor and Rose._ **

**GELTH:** **We need bodies. All of you. Dead. The human race. Dead.**

“I really wish you didn’t give so many chances” River told the doctors who just sighed.

**_They are backing the Doctor and Rose against a dungeon door._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Gwyneth, stop them! Send them back! Now!**

**GELTH:** **Three more bodies. Make them vessels for the Gelth.**

**DICKENS:** **I-- I can't! I'm sorry!**

**_The Doctor looks behind him, spots the dungeon door, pushes Rose in there with him and slams it shut again so they are both locked in there._ **

**DICKENS:** **It's too much for me! I'm so—**

**_He jumps and runs from the Morgue as one of the Gelth screeches and swoops at him._ **

Rory looks sad at the fact that one of his favourite authors is a coward, so Amy takes pity and holds his hand, snuggling up to him, he smiles at her and they cuddle on the sofa.

**_The corpses are clambering to get in the dungeon._ **

**GELTH;** **Give yourself to glory. Sacrifice your lives for the Gelth.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I trusted you. I pitied you!**

**GELTH:** **We don't want your pity! We want this world and all its flesh.**

Again River sighed for the doctor wouldn’t be the doctor if he didn’t give so many chances.

**_They are rattling the door._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Not while I'm alive.**

**GELTH:** **Then live no more.**

**_Dickens has run from the Morgue and rests panting against the door. The gaseous creatures swirl around the knocker, making it look exactly like the knocker from his story 'A Christmas Carol', and he runs again. The Doctor and Rose are flattened against the dungeon wall while the Gelth are rattling the door._ **

“How the hell do you get out of this one?” Jack asks the doctors who smile mysteriously at him, he just starts mumbling about not asking anymore questions.

**ROSE:** **But I can't die. _(looks at the Doctor for reassurance)_ Tell me I can't! I haven't even been born yet, it's impossible for me to die! Isn't it?! **

Everyone sends Rose pitying looks, all not wanting to admit that they had once though the same thing.

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm sorry.**

**_Dickens has run from the house altogether. One of the Gelth has followed him._ **

**GELTH:** **Failing! Atmosphere hostile!**

**_The figure dives into a gas lamp._ **

**DICKENS:** **_(realising)_ ** **Gas... Gas!**

Rory smiles, maybe Dickens would do something, he though.

**ROSE:** **But it's 1869, how can I die now?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Time isn't a straight line. It can twist into any shape. You can be born in the 20th century and die in the 19th and it's all my fault. I brought you here.**

“Like a big ball of wibbly wobbly” ten started

“Timey wimey stuff” Eleven finished. Although eleven wasn’t sure how his past self knew those words, perhaps he had always thought of it like that, and it was just brought out through the DVD.

**ROSE:** **It's not your fault. I wanted to come.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **What about me? I saw the fall of Troy! World War Five!**

“Oh great, another Three world wars” Rory grumbled.

**THE DOCTOR: I pushed boxes at the Boston Tea Party, now I'm going to die in a dungeon! _(horrified)_ In Cardiff! **

“Haha now you put it like that” Jack said laughing with many others, Gwen just huffed, what was wrong with Cardiff?

**ROSE:** **It's not just dying. We'll become one of them.**

Everyone shivered hating the idea.

**_Dickens rushes back into the house and begins to turn all the flames off the gas lamps, so that the gas is released into the air. Wheezing slightly, he covers his nose and mouth with a handkerchief._ **

Rory’s smile grew bigger and Amy couldn’t help but Roll her eyes.

**ROSE:** **We'll go down fighting, yeah?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yeah.**

**ROSE:** **Together?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yeah!**

**_They link hands._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm so glad I met you.**

**_Rose looks up at him, surprised._ **

**ROSE:** **Me too.**

Ten smiles at Rose telling her it’s still the same, which she returns.

**_They smile at each other. At that moment, Dickens rushes into the room._ **

**DICKENS:** **Doctor! Turn OFF the flame, turn UP the gas! Now fill the room, all of it, now!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **What're you doing?**

**DICKENS:** **Turn it all on! Gas the place!**

**_He turns another one on._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Brilliant. Gas!**

Rory couldn’t help but cheer.

**ROSE:** **What, so we choke to death instead?**

**DICKENS:** **Am I correct, Doctor? These creatures are gaseous!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Fill the room with gas, it'll draw them out of the host. Suck them into the air like poison from a wound!**

“Smart” Jack told the doctors and they smiled. “Although it wasn’t your idea” And their smiles faltered and Rory grinned again.

**_The corpses all decide to turn on Dickens instead._ **

**DICKENS:** **I hope... oh, Lord. I hope that this theory will be validated soon.**

**_The corpses advance dangerously on him._ **

**DICKENS:** **If not immediately.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Plenty more!**

**_He smashes a gas canister against the wall and all the creatures are sucked from the bodies with a scream._ **

**DICKENS:** **It's working.**

**_The Doctor and Rose are free to come out of the dungeon._ **

“Get out” Everyone shouted and the three just smiled.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Gwyneth! Send them back! They lied, they're not angels.**

**GWYNETH:** **_(simply)_ ** **Liars.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Look at me. If your mother and father could look down and see this, they'd tell you the same. They'd give you the strength. Now send them back!**

**ROSE** **_: (choked)_ ** **Can't breathe.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Charles, get her out.**

**_Dickens grabs Rose's arm, but she shakes him off._ **

**ROSE:** **I'm not leaving her!**

“Your way too stubborn for your own good” Ten told Rose and she laughed and said “You can talk”

**GWYNETH:** **They're too strong.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Remember that world you saw? Rose's world? All those people - none of it will exist unless you send them back through the rift.**

**GWYNETH:** **_(firmly)_ ** **I can't send them back. But I can hold them. Hold them in this place, hold them here. Get out.**

**_Her hand goes to her apron pocket and she takes out a box of matches. Rose rushes forwards._ **

**ROSE:** **You can't!**

**GWYNETH:** **Leave this place!**

**_The Doctor grabs Rose's shoulders._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Rose, get out, go now, I won't leave her while she's still in danger, now go!**

**_Dickens and Rose leave the Morgue. The Doctor holds his hand out for the matches._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Now give that to me.**

**_Gwyneth does not respond._ **

**_Dickens leads Rose back through the dark house, filled with gas._ **

**DICKENS:** **This way!**

**_The Doctor places his hand on Gwyneth's neck, feeling for a pulse. His face falls._ **

“She was already dead?” wen asks sad, the doctors just nod. They all take a minute silence thinking about Gwyneth, Jack and Ianto couldn’t help but thinking of her like Gwen. It made it sadder, if they ever lost her they didn’t think they could go on.

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm sorry. _(places a kiss on her forehead)_ Thank you. **

**_He runs from the Morgue. Gwyneth takes a match out of the box and waits for a few moments, to be sure the Doctor is safely out of the house. Then she strikes the match. The whole house goes up in flames, the Doctor diving out of the doorway only just in time to join Rose and Dickens._ **

“Always just in time” River smirks, he’ll never get out with five minutes to spare it’s always a couple of seconds.

**_Rose fixes him with a look that plainly asks why Gwyneth is not with him. The Doctor looks back at her._ **

**ROSE:** **She didn't make it.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm sorry. She closed the rift.**

**DICKENS:** **At such a cost. The poor child.**

They all couldn’t help but nod, Jack and Ianto still thinking of Gwen.

**_Rose has not looked away from the Doctor._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I did try, Rose, but Gwyneth was already dead. She had been for at least five minutes.**

**ROSE:** **What do you mean?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I think she was dead from the minute she stood in that arch.**

**ROSE:** **But... she can't have, she spoke to us. She helped us - she saved us. How could she have done that?**

“I still don’t get how” Rose muttered.

**DICKENS:** **There are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Even for you, Doctor.**

**ROSE:** **She saved the world. A servant girl. No one will ever know.**

“We will” Those in the room told her.

“I’ll make sure it goes into a Torchwood file when I we get back” Gwen told Rose who smiled, at least the story would go on, even if it was only through torchwood, whatever that was.

**_All three of them gaze at the burning house. The Doctor, Rose and Dickens have arrived back at the TARDIS._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Right then, Charlie-boy, I've just got to go into my um... shed. Won't be long!**

“SHED?” The doctors yell at their past selves, then laugh.

**_He fits the key in the lock._ **

**ROSE :** **_(to Dickens)_ ** **What're you going to do now?**

**DICKENS:** **I shall take the mail coach back to London. Quite literally post-haste. This is no time for me to be on my own. I shall spend Christmas with my family and make amends to them. After all I've learned tonight, there can be nothing more vital.**

“Yes then, he’s cheered up” Rory said still hugging Amy who smiled.

**THE DOCTOR:** **You've cheered up!**

**DICKENS:** **_(enthusiastically)_ ** **Exceedingly! This morning, I thought I knew everything in the world and now I know I've just started! All these huge and wonderful notions, Doctor! I'm inspired. I must write about them!**

“But, but, oh my god, 1869?” Rory asks the doctors who nod. “Damn, well at least he had a good last year”

**ROSE:** **Do you think that's wise?**

**DICKENS:** **I shall be subtle at first. The Mystery of Edwin Drood still lacks an ending. Perhaps the killer was not the boy's uncle. Perhaps he was not of this earth. The Mystery of Edwin Drood and the Blue Elementals. I can spread the word! Tell the truth!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Good luck with it. Nice to meet you. _(shakes Dickens' hand)_ Fantastic. **

**_He turns back to the TARDIS door._ **

**ROSE:** **Bye, then. And, thanks.**

**_She kisses him on the cheek. Dickens looks taken-aback._ **

**DICKENS:** **Oh, my dear-- how modern. Thank you, but, I don't understand - in what way is this goodbye? Where are you going?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You'll see. In the shed.**

“Oh he’s going to love this” Roy said smiling.

**_He opens the door of the TARDIS._ **

**DICKENS:** **Oh, my soul. Doctor, it's one riddle after another with you. But after all these revelations, there's one mystery you still haven't explained. Answer me this - who are you?**

“The sexiest man in the universe” Ten says

“How about the smartest man in the universe” Eleven answers.

Everyone else just stares at each other and said “nah” laughing at the doctors faces. Rover whispers in elevens ear, “Don’t worry, I still think your sexy” Eleven leans back looking particularly smug, which makes River laugh.

**_A pause._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Just a friend. Passing through.**

**DICKENS:** **But you have such knowledge of future times. I don't wish to impose on you, but I must ask you. My books. Doctor - do they last?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh, yes!**

**DICKENS:** **For how long?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Forever!**

“Really?” Rory asks and the doctors nod, grinning.

**_Dickens tries to look pleased and modest at the same time._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Right. Shed. Come on, Rose...**

**_They both turn to the door._ **

**DICKENS:** **In - in the box? Both of you?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Down boy. See ya!**

**_The Doctor and Rose enter the TARDIS and shut the door after them._ **

**ROSE:** **Doesn't that change history if he writes about blue ghosts?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **In a week’s time it's 1870, and that's the year he dies. Sorry. He'll never get to tell his story.**

**_They both look at the screen where they can see Dickens is still standing outside._ **

**ROSE:** **Oh, no! He was so nice.**

“It’s so sad” Rory said, happy but sad at the same time.

**THE DOCTOR:** **But in your time, he was already dead! We've brought him back to life! He's more alive now than he's ever been, old Charlie-boy. Let's give him one last surprise.**

**_He hits a button and the engines rev up. They smile as they watch Dickens' face when the TARDIS disappears before his eyes. Laughing, Dickens' walks away from where the TARDIS stood. Dickens emerges into the Square._ **

**PASSER-BY:** **Merry Christmas, sir.**

**DICKENS:** **Merry Christmas to you. God bless us! Everyone!**

Everyone began chuckling then Rory said, “Charles Dickens, with ghosts, at Christmas?” He asks, and it dawns on everyone, they all start laughing. When they finish Rose asks “What next, witches with Shakespeare?” She asks and they laugh again, Eleven grinning widely.

“Or a murder mystery with Agatha Christie?” Amy asks, and everyone is laughing really hard now, all except eleven who was thinking about the shock they had. And how they all reminded him of Donna.

“Oh well” Ten said “Onto the next one I guess?” He asked, and they all nod enthusiastically


	5. Aliens of London (1)

“YAAY” I can’t wait Jack said, even more enthusiastic than usual (is that even possible?). He was jumping up and down like an obsessed fan girl, looking like a kid on Christmas day. Everyone just sighed wondering whether they were going to have to put up with this all the time.

**The TARDIS materializes. Both Rose and the Doctor step out. The Doctor leans against the door and folds his arms.**

**ROSE:** **How long have I been gone?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **About 12 hours.**

“Don’t listen to him it will probably be like 12 days” River warned Rose, but Rose just sighed.

“Oh it was much worse than that” She told River who turned to glare at the doctors who were whistling nonchalantly.

**_They laugh._ **

**ROSE:** **Oooh! Right, I won't be long, I'm just gonna see my mum.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **What're you going to tell her?**

**ROSE:** **I don't know! I've been to the year 5 billion... and only been gone, what, 12 hours?**

“Haha, I could just imagine Jackie’s face” Jack told everyone, who laughed along with him.

**_The Doctor gives something between a laugh and a snort._ **

**ROSE:** **No, I'll just tell her I've spent the night at Shareens.**

“Ah Shareen how she wounds be” Jack said dramatically, pretending to be a wounded soldier on a battle field. Everyone just sighed and rolled their eyes, Jack would never change, and seemed to become more annoying the more time you spend with him.

**ROSE: See you later! _(walks off, turns back)_ Oh - don't you disappear.**

“As if” Ten scoffed as Rose smiled. They all looked at the couple wondering whether they would figure it out, yes even River.

**_The Doctor gives her a look to say 'as if I would' and she runs off in the direction of the flats. He settles himself against the TARDIS to wait for her. Rose runs up the stairs to her flat, grinning. The Doctor wanders around with his arms folded outside and kicks an empty bottle across the yard. He spots a poster taped to a lamppost. He walks over to it and reads the writing 'Can You Help?' and sees a photograph of Rose._ **

“Oh no” Amy worriedly said.

“What did you do?” Rory asked the doctors, who again where whistling while Rose was snickering, wait until the slap!

**_Rose opens the door to her flat._ **

**ROSE:** **I'm back! It was Shareen. She was all upset again. Are you in?**

Jack let out a cry “Not Shareen!” He screamed, making everyone cover their ears in pain and send him their death glares. He just shrugged and sat up, for the past minute he had been draped over Ianto’s legs.

**_Her mum walks out of the kitchen holding a cup of tea._ **

**ROSE:** **So, what's been going on? How've you been?**

**_Jackie looks as though she has seen a ghost._ **

“Uh-oh, how long was you actually gone?” Rory looked over to Rose concerned; this did not look like it bode well for her.

“Oh, you’ll just have to wait and see” she told him grinning, everyone just groaned.

**ROSE:** **What? What's that face for? It's not the first time I've stayed out all night.**

**_Jackie drops the cup of tea and it smashes on the floor._ **

“NOT THE TEA” surprisingly it was not Jack who shouted this, but Ianto. Jack began laughing, and Ianto huffed. Seeing everyone’s confused looks Jack elaborated “There was this one day-” however what Jack was about to say was cut off, when a gun shot was heard, everyone turned to look at Ianto. Who was red in the face and holding out a gun, “No one is going to find out what happened, not even Gwen” He told the group who were all staring at the tea boy as though he was crazy, he just sat there, waiting for them all to turn to the TV. As soon as Jack was back again, the TV continued. Jack just winked at Ianto, who turned bright red, yet again.

**_Outside, the Doctor gets the gist of the poster and runs to the flats._ **

**JACKIE:** **It's you.**

**ROSE:** **Of course it's me!**

**JACKIE:** **_(shaken, teary)_ ** **Oh, my God. It's you. Oh my God.**

“Your such an idiot” River told the eleven, who smiled at her.

**_She throws her arms around Rose, who looks alarmed. Then, over her sobbing mother's shoulder, she notices several variations of the same 'Where is Rose?' poster. At that moment, the Doctor comes crashing in._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's not 12 hours, it's er... 12 months. You've been gone a whole year.**

Everyone was shocked. “A YEAR?, SHE LOST YEAR?” Jack shouted and yet again everyone had to cover their ears.

“Yes” Said the doctor’s, trying to hide from River and Amy’s glared, ‘like mother like daughter’ Eleven thought as he saw them, completely identical death glares.

“Your mum must have been so afraid” Amy told Rose who looked saddened, yes her mum really thought she had died. Rory was thinking not only of her mum but Mickey, not knowing where she was and what was happening.

“Um, can I ask, does that mean you missed a year of your life, therefore your birthday and didn’t age?” She asked Rose who grinned.

“Yep, I was twenty, but since I was with the doctor, technically still nineteen” Everyone was stunned, every woman’s dream. Amy was smiling now, at least she could avoid being thirty for a year.

**_He laughs apologetically while Rose and Jackie both look at him, stunned._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Sorry.**

“That’s really not going to help.” Someone muttered.

**_Jackie looks back at Rose, stroking her hair. A small boy is spraying the words 'Bad Wolf' onto the side of the TARDIS. He then picks up his bike and rides off._ **

Again, the four shared looks, and River was wondering where she had heard that before.

**JACKIE:** **_(furious)_ ** **The hours I've sat here. Days and weeks and months all on my own.**

Everybody winced, not wanting to know what that felt like. everyone except Rory, who was remembering when it became particularly lonely when waiting for Amy.

**JACKIE: I thought you were dead. And where were you? Travelling. What the hell does that mean? Travelling? That's no sort of answer.**

**_Rose is sitting in an armchair while Jackie is giving her all she's got. A policeman is sitting in the other armchair._ **

**JACKIE:** **_(to the PC)_ ** **You ask her. She won't tell me! That's all she says. Travelling.**

**ROSE:** **That's what I was doing.**

“Yeah, just the shortened down version of it” Jack told the room who agreed.

**JACKIE:** **_(gesturing furiously)_ ** **When your passport's still in the drawer? It's just one lie after another!**

**ROSE:** **I meant to phone, I really did, I just... I forgot.**

“Well technically you did, you phoned her, but it didn’t connect you to the right time” Rory stated.

**JACKIE:** **What, for a year? You forgot for a year? And I am left sitting here? I just don't believe you. Why won't you tell me where you've been?**

“She probably wouldn’t believe you if you did” Gwen told rose who was looking saddened.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Actually, it's my fault. I sort of er, employed Rose as my companion.**

“Probably gonna take that the wrong way” Jack said snickering

“Just because you’ve got your head in the gutter” Gwen muttered  to him and he smiled.

**POLICEMAN:** **When you say 'companion', is this a sexual relationship?**

“No!” Both Rose and ten shouted, slightly red. Everyone else just looked at them, not in slightest believing that they didn’t want It that way.

**THE DOCTOR/ROSE:** **No!**

“Haha, don’t change much” Jack told them and they rolled their eyes.

**JACKIE:** **_(advancing dangerously on the Doctor)_ ** **Then what is it? Because you, you waltz in here all charms and smiles, and the next thing I know, she vanishes off the face of the earth! How old are you then? 40? 45? What, you find her on the Internet? Did you go online and pretend you're a doctor?**

“I am a doctor” The two ‘doctors’ told the laughing room.

“Oh sweetie, you keep telling yourself that” River told eleven who huffed.

**THE DOCTOR:** **I AM a Doctor!**

**JACKIE:** **Prove it! Stitch this, mate.**

**_She slaps him hard around the face. The Doctor groans loudly while Rose rolls her eyes._ **

There was complete silence. Everyone was just looking at the groaning doctor, then Ianto let out a snicker, and everyone was laughing their heads of, except for the doctors who were pouting rubbing their faces. Eleven was muttering “Always the mothers” while ten just looked hurt. They tried to get the room to calm down, but they just couldn’t stop at the look on the doctor’s face on and off screen. **  
**

“I am so using that” Jack shouted over the laughter.

Eleven turned to River and asked “Why is it always the mothers?” She just laughed at him, while Rose was patting ten on the shoulder, trying to keep in the laughter. Jack turned to her and said “Rose, I Love your mother, I mean, the doctor. bitch slapped. by your mum. Perfect, just perfect” once everyone had calmed down, which took a while, the screen came to life yet again.

**_Jackie and Rose are hugging._ **

**JACKIE:** **Did you think about me at all?**

**_They are both crying. Rose stands back slightly._ **

**ROSE:** **I did! All the time! But...**

**JACKIE:** **One phone call. Just to know that you were alive!**

**ROSE:** **I'm sorry. I really am.**

“I really, really am annoyed that she had to go through that” Rose muttered, but ten heard her and sent an apologetic look her way.

**JACKIE:** **Do you know what terrifies me, is that you still can't say. What happened to you, Rose? What could be so bad that you can't tell me, sweetheart? Where were you?**

**_Rose cannot answer her. Rose is sitting on a wall and the Doctor is leaning against it._ **

**ROSE:** **I can't tell her. I can't even _begin..._ she's never gonna forgive me. And I missed a year? Was it good? **

“So boring” Jack said, remembering 2005, he had lived for over 100 years, and yet he still couldn’t think of a worse year. Then again he knew that year the doctor was definitely going to be at the rift, but he couldn’t do anything in case he spoiled his own timeline.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Middling.**

**ROSE:** **You're so useless.**

“Agreed” River told Rose who laughed.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, if it's this much trouble, are you gonna stay here now?**

**ROSE:** **I dunno. I can't do that to her again, though.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, she's not coming with us.**

Again people started laughing apart from, the 2011 people and the doctors. “Haha you travelling with a mother, I’d love to see that” Jack said, which caused River to smirk and Amy to laugh. Jack just thought it was because he was funny.

**_Rose bursts out laughing and the Doctor joins in._ **

**ROSE:** **No chance.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I don't do families.**

**ROSE:** **She slapped you!**

“That was brilliant” Jack said, smiling at the five minute old memory.

**THE DOCTOR:** **900 years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.**

Gain laughter as everyone thought about the fat that Jackie was the first mother to slap the-last-of-the-timelords.

**ROSE:** **Your face.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It hurt!**

“It did” The two doctors told the now grinning faces.

**ROSE:** **You're so gay!**

“Is that meant to be an insult, because it’s not very amusing” Jack told her seriously. Rose just stuttered and Jack smiled at her. Ah how he loved to get pay back on people who that was an insult. **  
**

**_The Doctor rubs his cheek, offended._ **

As did the other two.

**ROSE:** **When you say 900 years**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's my age.**

**ROSE:** **You're nine hundred years old.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yeah.**

“Everyones always shocked, I personally don’t see why” Ten told the group who just stared at him, as if he had grown another head.

**ROSE:** **My mum was right - that is one hell of an age gap. _(jumps off the wall)_ Every conversation with you just goes mental. There's no one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things, and I'm the only person on planet earth who knows they exist. **

“Well..” ten started but rose interrupted him and said “I meant NORMAL person” And he nodded.

**_Right on cue, a spacecraft narrowly misses their heads as it falls from the sky and heads for for Central London. It smashes into Big Ben, then lands with a splash in the Thames. The Doctor and Rose stand up with their mouths open._ **

“Well you was” Rory told her, and she smiled.

“How come I don’t remember this?” Amy asked everyone.

Eleven answered by saying “You Scottish”

“And”

“Everyone knows Scottish people try to avoid anything that happens in England.”

“We do not” she said offended

“Yes you do”

”No we don’t”

“Yes you do” Eleven said, but before Amy could reply, he TV turned on automatically. It seemed ‘sexy’ was bored of the argument.

**ROSE:** **Oh, that's just not fair.**

“It really wasn’t” She said, as everyone laughed.

**_The Doctor laughs gleefully, grabs her hand, and pulls her off in the direction of the action. It is complete mayhem on the streets. The Doctor and Rose arrive on the scene._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's blocked off.**

**ROSE:** **We're miles from the centre. The scene must be grid locked. The whole of London must be closing down.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I know, I can't BELIEVE I'm here to see this! This is fantastic!**

“FAN-“ however both doctors were cu of by River saying “Say that one more time, and I’ll shoot where it hurts” everyone laughed, and the doctors sat down turning red. Jack just smiled mischievously, as River winked at him. The interaction did not go missed by eleven who glared at Jack.

**ROSE:** **Did you know this was going to happen?**

“Nope, complete shock” Ten said grinning, that was one great thing about travelling through a big ball of mess like time, you never knew what could happen.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nope!**

**ROSE:** **Do you recognize the ship?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nope!**

**ROSE:** **Do you know why it crashed?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nope!**

“your hopeless” River told them, rolling her eyes.

**ROSE:** **Oh, I'm so glad I've got you.**

“You should be” Ten told her and she answered by slapping him around the head.

**THE DOCTOR:** **I bet you are! This is what I travel for, Rose! To see history happening right in front of us.**

**ROSE:** **Well, let's go and see it! Never mind the traffic, we've got the TARDIS!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Better not. They've already got one spaceship in the middle of London, don't want to shove another one on top.**

“You’re so boring Jack told the doctors who looked at him like he was mental. They were the funniest people on earth!

**ROSE:** **Yeah, but yours looks like a big blue box. No one's going to notice.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You'll be surprised, an emergency like this - there'll be all kinds of people watching. Trust me, the TARDIS stays where it is.**

“That is true, she is very noticeable” River said knowledgably. Everyone wondered why she called the TARDIS ‘she, when they only ever hear the doctor say it.

**_Rose looks distinctly disgruntled._ **

**ROSE:** **So, history's happening and we're stuck here.**

“Like us regular mortals” Jack said and everyone snorted.

“Jack your anything but regular, and your IMMORTAL” Eleven told him and Jack smiled, “exactly” he told them, confusing everyone.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes, we are.**

**ROSE:** **We could always do what everybody else does.**

**_The Doctor looks at her questioningly._ **

**ROSE:** **We could watch it on TV.**

“I have never watched history unfold on TV I just felt so, so, human” Ten said, disgusted.

**_The Doctor looks as though this is a completely new idea to him._ **

**NEWS READER:** **Big Ben destroyed as a UFO crash lands in Central London. Police reinforcements are drafted in from across the country to control wide-spread panic, looting and civil disturbance. A state of national emergency has been declared. Tom Hitchinson is at the scene.**

**_The Doctor and Rose are watching the TV intently. Jackie comes in to give Rose a cup of tea._ **

**JACKIE:** **I've got no choice! Either I make him welcome, or I run the risk of never seeing you again!**

**_Both Jackie and her friend Marianna babble on angrily._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oi! I'm trying to listen!**

“Very polite” Jack told the two, but they just smiled at their past selves. Amy was thanking whoever it was, that they weren’t this rude now.

**NEWS READER:** **his current whereabouts. News is just coming in, we can go to Tom at the embankments.**

**REPORTER:** **They've found a body.**

**_The Doctor raises his eyebrows._ **

So did everyone else, only the torchwood team had found out what really happened, and Gwen and Ianto didn’t know, since they joined after this particular incident.

**REPORTER:** **It's unconfirmed but I'm being told a body has been found in the wreckage. A body of non-terrestrial origins. It's being brought ashore.**

**_Jackie enters the room giving a bottle of wine to a couple of people._ **

**JACKIE:** **Oh, guess who asked me out - Billy Crewe.**

Everyone was laughing because although they didn’t know her, they knew only Jackie could gossip when Aliens had been spotted.

**_The Doctor shakes his head. The channel keeps being changed. The Doctor tries to wrestle the TV remote off a toddler on his lap. The Doctor changes the channel back to News 24. The little boy hops off the Doctors lap and stands in front of the TV screen. The Doctor points violently sideways._ **

“Aw he’s just a kid” Amy said scowling and eleven cowered under the scary gingers rage.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Go on!**

**_The toddler wanders off._ **

**REPORTER:** **I'm being told that... General Asquith is now entering the hospital. The building's evacuated. The patients have been moved out onto the streets. The police still won't confirm the presence of an alien body. Contained inside those walls**

“And the doctor is obviously going to check it out, he can’t help but interfere” River sighed as she tild them.

“True it’s like he has a need” Rose said, and the doctors huffed.

“Will you stop talking about us like were not in the room” They said together, everyone else just blinked at them. _Weird._

**_A group of soldiers enter the mortuary inside the hospital. General Asquith approaches the table where the alien lies covered with a cloth._ **

**ASQUITH:** **Let's have a look then.**

**_Dr Sato pulls back the cloth._ **

“TOSH?” Gwen and Ianto asked together. Jack just smiled.

“Yeah, I sent her, she was the best, I had at the time” He told them and they sighed, for a minute they were worried something else was going on.

“It’s surprising that two of your people have had contact with us, and we haven’t noticed until now” Ten told Torchwood, who nodded. Were they going to be seeing Owen at some point?

**ASQUITH:** **Good God. That's real? It's not a hoax or a dummy, or a...?**

The doctors snorted, it was an alien hoax, but by aliens.

**_Dr Sato shakes her head._ **

**DR SATO:** **I've x-rayed the skull. It's wired up inside like nothing I've ever seen before. No one could make this up.**

“Good old Tosh” Gwen said, smiling slightly. They missed her so much; the hub wasn’t the same without her and Owen.

**ASQUITH:** **We've got experts being flown in. Until they arrive... get that out of sight.**

**_She nods and covers the alien again. Two people shut the door of a mortuary shelf. Dr Sato runs after Asquith as he makes to leave._ **

**DR SATO:** **Excuse me, sir!**

**_The captain stops and turns to face her._ **

**DR SATO:** **I know it's a state of emergency and there's a lot of rumour flying around, but is it true, what they're saying? About the Prime Minister?**

“She’s very good, I’m guessing you didn’t ask her to find that out?” Ten asked.

“Nope” Jack told them and the rest smiled, they liked Tosh.

**_The captain does not answer her. He leaves without another word, followed by soldiers. She stares after them then hurries in the opposite direction._ **

“Gone to report to me now” Jack said smiling, she really was very good.

**REPORTER:** **Mystery still surrounds their whereabouts of the prime minister. He's not been seen since the emergency began. The opposition are criticizing his lack of leadership. Hold on--**

**_A man gets out of a car and enters 10 Downing Street._ **

**REPORTER:** **Oh - that's Joseph Green, MP for Hartley Dale. He's chairman of the parliamentary commission on the monitoring of sugar standards in exported confectionary. With respect, hardly the most important person right now.**

“What’s he doing there?” Ianto asked and everyone apart from the obvious shrugged.

**_When Joseph Green enters 10 Downing Street, his hand is shaken by the Junior Secretary._ **

**INDRA:** **Indra Ganesh. Junior secretary. I'll be your liaison.**

**JOSEPH:** **Where the hell is he?**

**INDRA:** **If we could talk in private, sir. Follow me, upstairs.**

**_A woman approaches them from behind._ **

**HARRIET:** **Excuse me! Harriet Jones. MP for Flydale North.**

“Wait, she was the prime minister before that nutter Harold Saxon took over wasn’t she?” Rory asked and Ten & Eleven who nodded stiffly, ten because he still wasn’t over Christmas, and Eleven because of the mention of the master. Jack shared looks with him, as if to say ‘he was more than a nutter’.

“Who’s Harold Saxon?” Rose asked confused.

“Oh he took over her, people voted her out of parliament, and he took over, complete nutter he was, started rambling about Aliens and ended up killing the president with these little computer tings he made himself.” Eleven again tensed up, wait until they find out. He realised that ten didn’t think anything of this, and was happy, he didn’t want a good plot line go to waste because of his curiosity.

**INDRA:** **I'm sorry, can it wait?**

**HARRIET:** **But I did have an appointment at 3:15.**

**INDRA:** **Yes. And a spaceship crashed in the middle of London. I think the schedule might have changed.**

“Not for her, she was determined” Eleven told everyone and they smiled.

**_The two men turn away from her and make their way up the stairs. Harriet looked confused._ **

“It looks like she didn’t even know” River said smiling.

“And why are you smiling?” Ten asked.

“Oh it just reminds me of someone I’ve heard about who missed everything too. Eleven realised she was talking about Donna and smiled too, definitely understanding why she thought of her.

**INDRA:** **You've heard about the alien body, sir?**

**JOSEPH:** **Never mind that, where is he? Where's the Prime Minister?**

**INDRA:** **No one knows, sir. He's disappeared. I have to inform you with the city grid locked and the cabinet stranded that makes you acting Prime Minister. With immediate effect.**

“Not the right time for the prime minister to take off” Amy said, with nods of agreement.

**JOSEPH:** **Oh, Lord. Oh, hold on-- _(farts loudly)_**

“urgh” Nearly everyone had looks of disgust on their face, until Jack did the same thing grinning.

**JOSEPH:** **Pardon me... nervous stomach. Anyway…**

**_They run up the stairs. Indra indicates a fat blonde woman._ **

“Oh” Jack said, realising it was the Slitheen

**INDRA:** **Margaret Blaine. She's with MI5.**

**MARGARET:** **There's no more information, sir. I personally escorted the Prime Minister from the cabinet room to his car - this is Oliver Charles, transport liaison.**

**OLIVER:** **The car's disappeared. There's no record of it, sir - it literally vanished.**

**JOSEPH:** **Right, er - inside, tell me everything.**

**_He ushers them into the cabinet room._ **

**INDRA:** **Er, sir?**

**_Joseph turns around and Indra holds a red case out to him._ **

**INDRA:** **The emergency protocols. Detailing the actions to be taken by the government of Great Britain in the event of an alien incursion.**

**JOSEPH:** **Right! Good! _(farts)_ Blimey!**

**_Indra looks slightly worried._ **

**JOSEPH:** **Pardon me. _(takes the case)_ Get to work, eh? **

**_He enters the room after Margaret and Oliver and slams the case down on the long table. He then looks across at them and starts laughing. A few seconds later they join in. Soon, they are all in hysterics._ **

“Okay then…”

**_It is dark. The Doctor slips outside the back door of Rose's flat. Rose emerges after him._ **

“Time to do some meddling” Jack said rubbing his hands together.

**ROSE:** **And where do you think you're going?**

“Nowhere mum” Ten said to Rose who hit him on the arm.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nowhere! It's just a bit human in there for me. History just happened and they're talking about where you can buy dodgy top up cards for half price. I'm off on a wander, that's all.**

“Yeah wonder” Rory said rolling his eyes.

**ROSE:** **Right - there's a spaceship on the Thames and you're just 'wandering'.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nothing to do with me! It's not an invasion! That was a genuine crash landing. Angle of descent, colour of smoke, everything! It's perfect!**

**ROSE:** **So…**

**THE DOCTOR:** **So maybe this is it! First contact! The day mankind officially comes into contact with an alien race. I'm not interfering because you've GOT to handle this on your own. That's when the human race finally grows up. Just this morning you were all tiny and small and made of clay! Now you can expand!**

“You genuinely thought it was a crash land?” River asked the doctors with a raised eyebrow.

“Well…” They both said smiling.

**_He laughs in delight. Rose smiles._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **You don't need me - go and celebrate history. Spend some time with your mum.**

“Jackie would have probably killed me if I had taken you away without telling…again” Ten whispered to Rose, who smiled, knowing just how true that statement was.

**_He walks away._ **

**ROSE:** **Promise you won't disappear?**

**_The Doctor stops, rolls his eyes and turns around again._ **

“Oh I see” Rose said a little hurt

**_He feels his jacket pockets._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Tell you what - TARDIS key. _(hands it to her)_ About time you had one. _(grins)_ See you later! **

**_He leaves. Rose looks down at the key in her hand, closes her fist around it and walks back to the flat door, looking distinctly chuffed. The Doctor leaves the block of flats. There is a raucous party on the third floor with a banner hanging over the balcony saying "THE ALIENS HAVE LANDED". A banner hanging from another window says "WELCOME TO OUR WORLD". A woman spots the Doctor and calls down to him._ **

**WOMAN:** **Hey, gorgeous! Come back and join the party!**

Amy snorted while Jack grinned. The doctors were just smiling smugly and everyone else was just rolling their eyes at the doctors.

**_Mickey emerges onto another balcony higher up. He picks up a trainer, smells it, and makes a face of disgust._ **

“Lovely” Jack said sarcastically, while Rose just laughed at her boyfriend’s antics.

**_He watches the Doctor look at a sign in a shop window saying "ELLO ET" and then does a double take as the Doctor walks up to the TARDIS taking a bunch of keys out of his pocket._ **

**MICKEY:** **Oh my God!**

“I’m guessing eh didn’t know you were back” Rory stated rather then asked Rose who did look guilty at that.

**_He runs back inside taking the smelly trainers with him. The Doctor enters the TARDIS, grinning. He runs to the console, smacks down a few buttons and turns a handle and beams up at it when it starts to move. Outside, the TARDIS begins to disappear just as Mickey runs out of the flats._ **

**MICKEY:** **Oi, Doctor! Doctooooooooooooooor!**

**_He sprints up to the TARDIS and throws himself at it, but just ends up hitting the heavily graffitied corrugated iron behind it and falls backwards from the impact._ **

Eleven looked at Jack and said “What is t with people and thinking the TARDIS is something to ride on?” Ten looked at him with a questionable look, along with everyone else. Well, apart from Jack and River, who were slightly smiling, and Eleven just told the rest “You’ll see” With a smirk as they as they all groaned.

**_He gets up again and brushes himself down, casting furtive looks around him to make sure no one saw him. He then walks off with as much dignity as he can muster. The console starts to smoke._ **

“For god’s sake” River said exasperated “Do you even know HOW to fly the TARDIS?” River scolded the doctors who looked angry at the fact she thought she knew THEIR TARDIS more than themselves. And ten was about to tell her so when Eleven slightly shook his head at him. There was nothing scarier than an angry River Eleven thought as he looked at his wife.

**_Looking slightly put-out, the Doctor hits it a couple of times with a hammer. Amazingly, this helps, and the Doctor kisses the hammer and gazes up at the console with a childish beam on his face._ **

River started to scold the doctors when the TV didn’t on, it seemed _Sexy_ didn’t want anyone having a go at _her_ Doctors; Even if that did _really really_ hurt.

**_10 Downing Street is heavily guarded on the outside. Harriet Jones places a cup of coffee on Indra's desk. He looks up at her._ **

**HARRIET:** **I bet no one's bought you a coffee.**

**_She laughs slightly._ **

**INDRA:** **Thank you.**

**HARRIET:** **Pleasure.**

**_He picks the cup up. She doesn't leave, but looks down at him expectantly._ **

“Really not going to work” Ianto stated.

**INDRA:** **You still can't go in.**

**HARRIET** **: Damn, you've seen through my cunning plan.**

**INDRA:** **Look, I'm sorry. It's just impossible.**

**_He gets up._ **

**HARRIET:** **Not even for two minutes?**

**_He shakes his head._ **

**HARRIET:** **I don't get many chance to walk these corridors. I'm hardly one of the babes - just a faithful back bencher. And I know we've had a brave new world land right on our doorstep, and that's wonderful. I think that's probably wonderful. Nevertheless, ordinary life keeps ticking away. _(rifles through her handbag and pulls out a folder)_ I need to enter this paper.**

“She is one determined woman” Jack told the room who nodded.

“Which is why she made a great Prime Minister” Gwen answered him, and he nodded.

**_Joseph Green, Margaret Blaine and Oliver Charles emerge from the cabinet room._ **

**HARRIET:** **Oh! Mr. Green, sir, I know you're busy, but could you put this on the next cabinet agenda?**

“Wow” was all they could say, she really did not give up easily.

**JOSEPH:** **What is it?**

**HARRIET:** **Cottage hospitals—**

**_Joseph looks at Indra in alarm who gives an apologetic and resigned wave of his hand._ **

**HARRIET:** **I've worked out a system whereby cottage hospitals do not have to be excluded from centres of excellence. You see, my mother's in the Flydale infirmary. That's my constituency - tiny lisle place, you wouldn't know it - but to give me a chance to—**

“This is why she made a great prime minister” Rory said, then continued after a pause “She actually cared” People around the room nodded, and ten was feeling slightly guilty that he got her fired, it seemed she was better than this ‘nutter’ whoever he was.

**JOSEPH:** **By all the saints, get some perspective, woman! I'm busy.**

**_All of them, including Indra, file out of the room, each giving her a funny look as they pass. Harriet is left alone holding her papers. She looks to make sure they are really gone, then slips into the cabinet room._ **

“Knew I likes her” Jack said smiling.

“Even though this could probably get her killed?” Amy asked

“Bundle of laughs you are” Ten told her thinking of his past words. The people in the room just rolled their eyes at the fact he was stealing, from himself.

“Yeah but we know she doesn’t since- “However Rory was cut off by eleven who said “How many times do I have to tell you Rory? Time isn’t set in stone it can change; things don’t necessarily have to happen that way, only fixed points will definitely happen” Eleven sighed as he finished and everyone just stared at him, all the future people thinking about the fixed point thing. Technically he died, but he didn’t, god the doctors life was confusing. **  
**

**_Harriet places her papers on the table, on top of the emergency protocols. She then seems to change her mind and picks them up again. She opens the case and puts it inside instead._ **

“Nice” Jack and Ianto said at the same time. Jack was grinning while Ianto was thinking ‘god help me’

**_Satisfied, she is just about to close it again when she spots the folder with "Emergency Protocols - Classified Information" written on the front. She sits on the chair in front of the case and opens the folder. She begins to read the first page with a look of awe on her face._ **

“WOW it took me forever to get them” Jack told the room who looked shocked, could Torchwood really get that kind of stuff?

**_Dr Sato settles herself in front of her desk, picks a pen up and begins to write. She hears a thumping noise in the distance. She pauses for a moment but then decides to ignore it. Then she hears it again. She turns around. The thumping repeats itself over and over again. It seems to be coming from the place where the alien was put._ **

“Tosh was okay, right?” Gwen asked Jack who just looked pointedly at her, like she was going to find out before the rest he thought.

**_She stares at it warily. The Doctor emerges from the TARDIS, which seems to have landed squashed up in a small storeroom. He looks around in slight confusion and then makes his way to the door. He turns on his sonic screwdriver, which makes a loud buzzing noise. He turns it off again hurriedly._ **

“Shhhh” Both doctors said grinning, while the other yet again rolled their eyes. It’s actually surprising people didn’t have a head ach from the amount of eye rolling.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Shh!**

They both grinned while everyone else sighed.

**_Dr Sato edges towards the door of the alien's cupboard. The thumping has become even more frantic, as though something is running around inside, banging against the walls. The Doctor finishes unlocking the door, puts his sonic screwdriver away and opens it. The Doctor finds himself in a room where about 20 soldiers are sitting around talking and laughing._ **

_Damn_ Was the general thought going around the room, although no one chose to voice this thought.

**_They fall silent when he opens the door. There is a pause while they all stare at each other, then they all leap to their feet and point their guns at him. The Doctor grins. Again._ **

“You really do grin, a lot” Jack told them, and they grinned, causing everyone to either laugh or roll their eyes, again.

**_Dr Sato approaches the door. She pulls it open and screams. Upon hearing the scream, the Doctor stops smiling and runs to the door._ **

“Tosh better be okay” Gwen warned Jack who looked pretty scared at that moment, even if he was immortal.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Defence part delta! Come on, move, move!**

**_All the soldiers follow him from the room in the direction of the scream. They run down the corridors. The Doctor spots Dr Sato cowering on the floor._ **

“She wasn’t used to it yet” Jack told a frowning Gwen, “She had only been working for me for a couple of months”

**DR SATO:** **It's alive!**

**_The Doctor turns to the men behind him._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Spread out. Tell the perimeter it's a lock down.**

**_He runs to Dr Sato's side and holds her hands._ **

**DR SATO:** **My God - it's still alive.**

“Aww poor Tosh” Ianto said, the whole alien thing was confusing at the start.

**_The men are still standing there watching them._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Do it!**

**_They run off and start searching the building. The Doctor turns back to Dr Sato. Blood is leaking out from under her hairline._ **

**DR SATO:** **I swear it was dead.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Coma - shock - hibernation - anything. What does it look like?**

**_There is a slight sound from behind him. He turns around quickly._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's still here.**

**_He stands up and beckons another soldier into the room. He walks forward quietly, looking for the source of the sound. When he hears another rattling, he drops to his knees and crawls to peer behind the desk. From the other side of the desk, the face of a pig peers back at him, snorting._ **

“A pig?” A couple of people asked shocked. The doctors just nodded both thinking of the poor pig.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Hello!**

**_The pig squeals in terror and runs across the room. The soldier readies his gun._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Don't shoot!**

**_The pig runs along the corridor. One of the soldiers points his gun at it and shoots before the Doctor can stop him._ **

“And you wonder why I hate guns?” Ten told the room, “it was a scared and defenceless creature who wasn’t going to hurt anyone, yet they still shot” He said venomously. Many around the room did not want to answer back, god he was scary like that. River and Torchwood all looked guilty as they tried to hide their guns from the doctor, who was now glaring at everyone around the room.

**THE DOCTOR:** **What did you do that for? It was scared!**

“Poor thing” Amy said sadly.

**_The soldier looks from him to the pig in alarm. The Doctor crouches down to look at the pig._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **It was scared.**

**_He strokes the pig as it dies._ **

Many around the room were looking pretty sad, apart from, those who looked guilty because they would have probably done the same as the soldiers if they were in that situation.

**_Harriet Jones hears voices approaching the cabinet room. Joseph and Asquith are talking about the President and U.K while walking towards the room. They enter the room. Harriet disappears into a cupboard just in time._ **

**ASQUITH:** **Furthermore, we can only assume that the Prime Minister's disappearance is the direct result of hostile alien action. And what have you been doing? Nothing.**

“Just like every other government we’ve had” Ianto told them.

**JOSEPH** **: Sorry! Sorry. Uh... I thought I was Prime Minister now.**

**ASQUITH** **: Only by default.**

**JOSEPH** **: Ooooh, that's not fair! I've been having such fun.**

“Oh great” Jack said knowing it was the alien now.

**_The Captain looks outraged._ **

**ASQUITH** **: You think this is FUN _?_**

**JOSEPH** **: It's a hoot, this job.**

**_Joseph, Margaret and Oliver all start to laugh._ **

“They do that too much” Amy said also coming to the same conclusion as the rest of the room.

**MARGARET:** **Honestly! It's super!**

**_Oliver farts._ **

**OLIVER:** **Oh! S'cuse me! _(farts again)_ Ooo! **

Jack was laughing while everyone else was looking disgusted, it took a while but finally Riversong had to ask. “What’s so funny this time Jack?”

He was laughing at the memory for another minute until he answered, “you really don’t want to know” He told the room who nodded. No, they probably didn’t.

**_They burst out laughing again._ **

**ASQUITH:** **What's going on here? And where's the rest of the cabinet? Why haven't they been air lifted in?**

**JOSEPH** **: Cancelled it. They'd only get in the way. _(farts)_ Oh, there I go. **

**_He farts twice more, heartily. Margaret joins in._ **

**MARGARET:** **Oh, and me! I'm shaking my booty.**

**_More hysterical laughter punctuated by farts._ **

**ASQUITH** **: Sir! Under section 5 of the emergency protocols, it is my duty to relieve you of command.**

“That aint gonna go down well” Jack said, stating the obvious.

**_Joseph stops laughing and looks up at the captain darkly._ **

**ASQUITH** **: And by God, I'll put this country under martial law if I have to.**

**JOSEPH** **: _(sarcastically)_ Oh, I'm SCARED _._ I mean, that's hair raising _._ I mean, literally _._ Look!**

**_He unzips his forehead. A bright blue light shines from the gap. Bewildered, the captain looks at the other two, who also unzip their foreheads._ **

“Oh” Said River, realising it’s the Slitheen, the doctor had of course told her he met them, but she hadn’t figured it out until now.

**_Where she is watching from a crack through the door, Harriet's eyes widen in shock. There are some disgusting and worrying noises from the cabinet room and Harriet leans back against the wall of the cupboard, horrified._ **

“Poor woman, must have been the shock of her life” Rory whispered, to Amy who nodded.

**_Dr Sato and the Doctor are standing over the pig's body._ **

**DR SATO:** **I just assumed that's what alien's look like. But you're saying it's an ordinary pig? From Earth?**

“Now she’s going to find out what species, and Radio me, again” Jack told the room who smiled, he seemed proud of Toshiko.

**THE DOCTOR:** **More like a mermaid. Victorian showmen used to draw the crowds by taking the skull of a cat and gluing it to a fish and calling it a mermaid. Now, someone's taken a pig, opened up its brain, stuck bits on... then they strapped it in that ship and made it dive bomb. It must've been terrified. They've taken this animal and turned it into a joke.**

“Awww” Rose said, The Doctor had happened to withhold this information room her.

**DR SATO:** **So it's a fake. A pretend. Like the mermaid. But the technology augmenting its brain... it's like nothing on Earth. It's alien. Aliens are faking aliens. But why would they do that...? _(turns to face the Doctor, only to find he has vanished)_ Doctor? _(hurries from room after him)_**

**_Dr Sato looks up and down a long corridor_ **

**DR SATO:** **Doctor?**

**_She turns as she hears the sound of the TARDIS engines. Obviously, she does not know what this sound is._ **

“Now she tells me everything that happened, including you” He said pointing to the doctors who smiled “And I’m gonna tell her to leave and come back, because you had it.” Jack was also very annoyed about how he couldn’t meet the doctor, the man he had been waiting for, for over a hundred years due to him being the one doctor he couldn’t meet, due to his own timeline!

**_Rose's sitting room is extremely crowded. Jackie raises her wine glass in a toast._ **

**JACKIE:** **Here's to the Martians!**

Eleven couldn’t help but be reminded of Donna yet again. He missed her, she was, along with Martha, Amy, Rory and Rose his best friend, and he just couldn’t help but regret the fact that he had to wipe her memories.

**EVERYONE:** **The Martians!**

**_Mickey appears in the doorway. The laughter dies away as he stares at Rose in her armchair. She looks around to see why everyone has gone quiet and sits up quickly when she sees him standing there._ **

**ROSE** **: I was gonna come and see you.**

**_He just stares at her._ **

“Oh no, something happened didn’t it?” Rory asked Rose who just nodded, she still felt guilty for that.

**WOMAN:** **Someone owes Mickey an apology.**

**ROSE** **: I'm sorry.**

**WOMAN:** **Not you. _(looks at Jackie)_**

**JACKIE:** **It's not my fault. Be fair. What was I supposed to think? _(gives Mickey a look and walks into the kitchen)_**

“What did she do?” Amy asked sighing.

“Just wait” Rose told her.

**MICKEY** **: You disappear - who do they turn to? Your boyfriend. Five times, I was taken in for questioning. Five times. No evidence, of course there couldn't be, could there. And then I get her - your mother. _(points at Jackie who rolls her eyes)_ Whispering around the estate - pointing the finger - stuff through my letterbox - and all 'cos of you. **

“WOW she really can get things done” Jack said astounded, he hoped he could meet Jackie sometime.

**ROSE** **: I didn't think I'd be gone so long.**

**MICKEY** **: And I waiting for you, Rose! Twelve months. Waiting for you and the Doctor to come back.**

**JACKIE:** **Hold on, you knew about the Doctor? Why didn't you tell me?**

**_Mickey notices someone trying to listen through the window into the kitchen. He slams them shut and closes the door._ **

**MICKEY** **: Yeah, yeah. Why not, Rose? Huh? How could I tell her where you went?**

“He would’ve been locked up” Gwen told them all, thinking about a previous case.

**JACKIE:** **Tell me now.**

**MICKEY** **: I might as well, 'cos you're stuck here. The Doctor's gone. Just now, that box thing just faded away.**

“Now you’re going to think he’s left” Jack said knowingly to Rose who just ignored him and his smug smile.

**ROSE** **: What do you mean?**

**MICKEY** **: He's left you. Some boyfriend HEturned out to be.**

“He’s not my boyfriend” Rose muttered to herself, while ten, who didn’t hear her turned and said, “I was never going to leave you, you know” Rose nodded, wondering why Mickey calling The Doctor her boyfriend made her happy. _Weird_ She thought as the TV Carried on.

**_Rose runs from the kitchen, grabbing a jacket from the back of the door on her way out. Mickey follows her. Jackie stays sitting down, looking frustrated. Rose and Mickey are standing at the spot where the TARDIS was parked._ **

**ROSE** **: He wouldn't just go, he promised me.**

**MICKEY** **: Oh, he's dumped you, Rose. Sailed off into space. How does it feel, huh? Now you are left behind with the rest of us Earthlings. Get used to it.**

“Okay a bit too far” Rory said with Amy nodding along.

“I’m so glad you didn’t act like that” She told him

“It was kind of easy to get used to it, I mean you used to go on and on and on and on and on…” He carried on until Amy hit him smiling.

**ROSE** **: But he would have said.**

“Sorry” Both Doctors told Rose, who just smiled, River was just glaring at the doctor for treating Rose this way.

**_Jackie walks over to them._ **

**JACKIE:** **What're you two chimps going on about? What's going on? What's this Doctor done now?**

**_Mickey chortles._ **

**MICKEY** **: He's vamoosed!**

“Oh I like that word” Jack said and everyone chuckled.

**ROSE** **: _(angrily)_ He's not! 'Cos he gave me this!**

**_She shows him the TARDIS key. Mickey gives a 'so what?' sort of shrug._ **

**ROSE:** **He's not my boyfriend, Mickey, he's better than that. He's much more important than**

“I am so glad you didn’t finish that sentence” Rory told Rose who nodded,

“Same” She told him.

**_She breaks off as the TARDIS key starts to glow in time with the sound of the TARDIS engines._ **

**ROSE:** **I said so.**

**_The engines get louder. Rose turns to her mother._ **

“I forgot Jackie was there” Ianto said with everyone agreeing.

**ROSE:** **_(urgently)_ ** **Mum! Mum, go inside. Mum, don't stand there, just go inside. Just-- mum, go-**

**_But Jackie is not listening to her. She is staring transfixed over Rose's shoulder, where the TARDIS is appearing out of thin air. The engines grind to a halt. Mickey points to the TARDIS meaningfully._ **

**MICKEY** **: Uh?**

**_Jackie stares at it in amazement._ **

“Here we go” Jack said excited, he loved the reactions of different people.

**JACKIE:** **How'd you do that, then?**

Jacks face fell; he wasn’t expecting that, not from Jackie. Then he smiled and answered “Magic” he moved his hands wiggling his fingers while saying this.

**_Rose looks at her warily. Rose enters the TARDIS where the Doctor is looking at the computer screen._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Alright, so I lied!**

“Of course you did” River said with a smile upon her face, you can’t possibly have the doctor an alien and no interference.

**THE DOCTOR: I went and had a look, but the whole crash landing's a fake - I thought so, it's just too perfect. I mean, 'hitting Big Ben' come on, so I thought let's go and have a look--**

**ROSE:** **My mum's here.**

“urgh” Both doctors said, they hated mothers. Amy just gave eleven the death glare as he was about to say something. He shut up; instantly.

**_The door creaks open and Jackie and Mickey enter. The Doctor looks around._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh, that's JUSTwhat I need. Don't you dare make this place domestic!**

“Don’t why I bothered” Ten said, much to the amusement of everyone else.

**MICKEY:** **You ruined my life, Doctor.**

**_The Doctor spins smoothly around to face him._ **

**MICKEY:** **They thought she was dead. I was a murder suspect because of you.**

“See, DOMESTIC” Ten

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(to Rose)_ ** **See what I mean? Domestic.**

Ten just gave a look to Rose who smiled back.

**_The Doctor spins back to face the computer screen. Mickey takes a few steps towards him._ **

**MICKEY:** **I bet you don't even remember my name!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Ricky.**

Rose just smiled, he does it on purpose and she knows.

**MICKEY:** **It's Mickey.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **No, it's Ricky.**

**MICKEY:** **I think I know my own name.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You THINKyou know your own name? How stupid are you?**

“Good one” Jack praised.

**_Jackie, who has been looking around the TARDIS with a bewildered expression, turns and runs outside again._ **

“She is full of surprises” Jack said, astonished. He was hoping for something entertaining.

**ROSE:** **Mum, don't! _(to the Doctor)_ Don't go anywhere! _(to Mickey)_ Don't start a fight! **

“I’d love to see this one in a punch up” Jack laughed with the rest, “Actually I’d love to see these two in a punch up” He said pointing to ten and eleven. Even more laughter came with this as the doctors pouted.

“Hey I hope you’ll find I am very manly” Ten said, and Rose just laughed.

“What we are” Eleven said, also defending himself.

“Oh please” Rose said rolling her eyes, she was about to list the things to prove how ‘manly’ he wasn’t when a note fell.

_Rose,_

_I would very much like you to list everything, but I haven’t got all the time in the world, this is very hard for me to pull off, and I REAAALLLYYYY don’t have until the end of the universe,_

_Sexy._

Everyone laughed as the doctors looked upset.

**_Jackie runs outside and back to the flats. Rose pursues her out of the doors._ **

**ROSE:** **Mum, it's not like that! He's not-- I'll be up in a minute, hold on!**

**_She runs back inside the TARDIS and back to the Doctor's side, where he is looking at his monitor again._ **

**ROSE:** **That was a REALspaceship?**

“What did you think it was? Paper?” Ten asked Rose who swotted him around the head.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yep!**

**ROSE:** **So, it's all a pack of lies? What is it then, are they invading?**

**_Mickey is on tip-toes peering at the screen over their shoulders._ **

**MICKEY:** **Funny way to invade, putting the world on red alert.**

“So he can be smart?” Ianto whispered to Jack who laughed.

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(mildly impressed)_ ** **Good point! So, what're they up to?**

**_On the TV, a news channel - footage of the spaceship crash landed in the Thames._ **

**REPORTER:** **As the crisis continues and the government shows remarkable lack of leadership, paranoia sweeps the country.**

“Have the government ever shown any leadership?” Gwen asked and yet again Jack laughed.

**_Jackie is sitting on the end of her bed, looking frustrated and restless. She sighs and kneads her forehead._ **

**REPORTER:** **There have been at least three reports of public assaults on people publicly identified as aliens.**

“PAANOIA” Jack screeched making everyone cover their ears in pain.

**_Jackie's look of anxiety increases._ **

**REPORTER:** **And now back to Tom Kitchnenson.**

**_Jackie falls back onto the bed, her hands over her face._ **

**TOM KITCHENSON:** **Are there more ships to come?**

“I really am going to have to pay more attention to the newspapers” Amy whispered to Rory “I don’t remember any of this”

**_Jackie turns her attention to the television._ **

**TOM KITCHENSON:** **What is their intention? The authorities are now asking if ANYONE knows ANYTHING _._ If any previous sighting has been made, then call this number. **

“Great, now she’s gonna call” Jack said sighing.

**_Jackie reaches for the telephone._ **

“Told you”

“Nobody said otherwise!” Rose told him and he pouted.

**TOM KITCHENSON:** **We need your help.**

**_Jackie dials the number on the screen. The first two times it is engaged. The third time, she manages to get through._ **

**JACKIE:** **Yes! I've seen one. I really have - an alien. And she's with him! My daughter, she's with him. And she's not safe. Oh, my God... she's not safe.**

**_Jackie exhales and sits back down on the foot of the bed._ **

**JACKIE:** **I've seen an alien. And I know his name, he's called 'The Doctor'.**

“If it’s actually someone proper, you should be fine” Ianto told the doctors, as though they hadn’t gone through this, they just looked at him amused.

**_The words 'The Doctor' are typed into a computer._ **

**JACKIE:** **It's a box. A blue box.**

**_'Blue Box' is typed in._ **

**JACKIE:** **She called it a 'TARDIS'.**

**_'TARDIS' is typed in. An alarm goes off._ **

“Don’t you just love the British government?” Ianto asked to the two now annoyed doctors.

“How did they find out about us?” Ten asked a very annoyed Eleven, it was all because of Torchwood, not Jacks torchwood, but still he hated it,

**_Indra enters at a run - the computer screen is flashing the words 'RED ALERT - THE THE DOCTOR'. Inside the TARDIS, Mickey peers curiously down at the Doctor, where he is once again wedged under the console._ **

**MICKEY:** **So, what're you doing down there?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(muffled, due to the sonic screwdriver he's holding between his teeth)_ ** **Ricky.**

“Mickey” Rose corrected and ten rolled his eyes.

**MICKEY:** **Mickey.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(takes the sonic screwdriver out of his mouth to make himself clearer)_ ** **Ricky.**

“Mickey” Rose said once again.

“Are you gonna do that all the time”

“Well I wasn’t, but then I realised it annoyed you” she said cheekily.

**_Mickey rolls his eyes, irked._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **If I was to tell you what I was doing to the controls of my frankly magnificent time ship, would you even begin to understand?**

**MICKEY:** **I suppose not...**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Shut it, then.**

**_He puts the sonic screwdriver back between his teeth. Mickey gives him the evil eye, and moves back round the console to where Rose is standing._ **

**MICKEY:** **Some friend you've got.**

“He just can’t take a joke” Jack said sighing, that was the only thing about Mickey, he could be great, but he can’t take a joke.

**ROSE:** **He's winding you up.**

**_Mickey still looks slightly upset. He does not answer._ **

**ROSE:** **I am sorry.**

**MICKEY:** **It's okay.**

**ROSE:** **_(earnestly)_ ** **I am, though!**

**MICKEY:** **Every day, I looked. On every street corner, wherever I went, looking for a blue box for a whole year.**

**ROSE:** **It's only been a few days for me. I don't know, it's... it's hard to tell inside this thing but I swear it's just a few days since I left you.**

“It has its ups and downs” River said wisely. Rose was really starting to wonder who she was, she seemed extremely smart and mysterious.

**MICKEY:** **Not enough time to miss me, then?**

**ROSE:** **_(smiles)_ ** **I did miss you.**

**MICKEY:** **I missed you.**

**ROSE:** **So, erm... in twelve months, have you been seeing anyone else?**

**MICKEY:** **No.**

“Probably because everyone thinks he murdered you” Jack told Rose who laughed, Jack didn’t get it.

**ROSE:** **Kay...**

**MICKEY:** **Mainly because everyone thinks I murdered you.**

“Oh great” Jack said making everyone laugh.

**ROSE:** **Right.**

**MICKEY:** **So... now that you've come back... are you gonna stay?**

**_He leans in to kiss her, but the moment is broken by the sound of sparks from beneath the console._ **

“Sorry” Ten told her. Rose just smiled at him “It’s fine, remember everything’s okay now”

**THE DOCTOR:** **Got it! Haha!**

**_Rose moves to the other side of the console to join him._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Patched in the radar, looped it back twelve hours so we can follow the flight of the spaceship, here we go... hold on... _(whacks the computer screen)_ Come on! _(shows Rose the graphic on the screen)_ That's the spaceship on it's way to Earth... see? Except... hold on... see, the spaceship did a sling shot round the Earth before it landed.**

“So it came from earth?” River asked eleven who nodded.

**ROSE:** **What does that mean?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It means it came from Earth in the first place - it went up and came back down. Whoever those aliens are, they haven't just arrived. They've been here for a while. The question is, what have they been doing?**

**_In the cabinet room, the alien who was previously inside the body of Oliver is now finishing putting on the skin suit of the General Asquith._ **

“Just lovely”

**ASQUITH:** **What do you think? How's the compression? I think I've got too much ballast round the middle _(farts)_ Ah, that's better. **

**_From the cupboard, Harriet Jones's eyes widen with shock and confusion._ **

**MARGARET:** **We've really got to fix the gas exchange. It's getting ridiculous.**

**JOSEPH:** **I don't know, it seems very human to me. Ah, better get rid of his skin...**

**_Asquith picks up the discarded skin of Oliver._ **

**ASQUITH:** **Shame! I quite enjoyed being Oliver. He had a wife, a mistress, and a young farmer.**

**_He makes towards the cupboard where Harriet is standing. She retreats further to the back. He opens the door and chucks the skin inside. He looks back at Margaret and Joseph._ **

**ASQUITH:** **God, I was busy.**

**_They laugh. He shuts the door again._ **

**JOSEPH:** **Back to work!**

**ASQUITH:** **I have an army to command!**

**MARGARET:** **Careful now**

**_They leave the room, their voices retreating. Harriet picks up the discarded skin of Oliver, and examines it._ **

“Smart woman, if only she was still in office” Jack told the room who all nodded (well apart from the obvious)

**_Indra rushes up to Margaret, Asquith and Joseph._ **

**INDRA:** **General Asquith! Sir - we've had a priority alarm. It's code nine confirmed code nine.**

**_Harriet Jones hurries out of the cupboard._ **

**ASQUITH:** **Code nine, huh? Which would mean...?**

**_Margaret gives a small and apologetic laugh while Joseph shakes his head behind him._ **

**INDRA:** **Well, in the event of the emergency protocols being activated... we've got software that automatically searches all communications for key words. And one of those words is 'Doctor'. I think we've found him, sir.**

**MARGARET:** **What sort of Doctor? Who is he?**

“If they knew who you were, do you think they would’ve left?” Ianto asked ten and eleven who both looked deep in thought.

“It depends, if they had met me before then yes, but if they only heard stories, then maybe no” Ten told him and he nodded.

**INDRA:** **Well, evidently he's some sort of expert in extra-terrestrial affairs, the ultimate expert! And we need him, sir. We need him here right now!**

**_Harriet pulls a face. The Doctor is switching the television from channel to channel._ **

**MICKEY:** **How many channels do you get?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **All the basic packages.**

**MICKEY:** **You get sports channels?**

“They all have one track minds I swear” Rose said grinning, the doctor laughed, they did certainly seem to have one track minds, yes.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes, I get the football. _(looks back at the screen)_ Hold on, I know that bloke. **

**REPORTER:** **It is looking likely that the government is bringing in alien specialists - those people who have devoted their lives to studying outer space.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **UNIT! United Nations Intelligence Task force - good people.**

“That’s not what you say when they have guns pointed at you” River said to ten who laughed “Yeah, yeah you’re probably right”

**ROSE:** **How do you know them?**

**MICKEY:** **'Cos he's worked for them.**

“WHAT?” Jack said shocked, the doctor he knew didn’t like guns or anything of the sort.

“It’s all in the past” Eleven told the room and Rose said “Bet you have to say that a lot” He grinned at her and nodded, technically everything was in the past to him, and when people badgered him about how he acted, it was very annoying.

**MICKEY: Yeah, don't think I sat on my backside for twelve months, Doctor. I read up on you. You look deep enough on the Internet... and in the history books, and there's his name. Followed by a list of the dead**

“He really is good, if only he didn’t whine too much” Ianto told jack who smiled, he would love to have had Mickey, if only he wasn’t in that parallel universe with Rose.

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's nice. Good boy, Ricky.**

**ROSE:** **If you know them, why don't you go and help?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **They wouldn't recognize me. I've changed a lot since the old days. Besides, the world's on a knife-edge. There's aliens out there and fake aliens. We want to keep this alien out of the mix. I'm going undercover... and eh, better keep the TARDIS out of site. Rickey! You've got a car - you can do some driving.**

**_He walks towards the TARDIS door._ **

**MICKEY:** **Where to?!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **The roads are clearing. Let's go and have a look at that spaceship.**

**_They step out of the TARDIS to the sound of helicopters - they are immediately caught out by a searchlight._ **

“Or not” eleven commented.

**LOUDSPEAKER:** **Do not move!**

**_Police cars and soldiers surround them, pointing guns and them and preventing their escape. Mickey makes a run for it. Jackie runs out of the flats and tries to get to Rose but two soldiers restrain her._ **

**JACKIE:** **No!**

**_Mickey is hiding behind some dustbins._ **

“So you get taken in but at least you’ll have Mickey” Jack said in a fake happy voice, he really liked mickey but he couldn’t help it.

**_The Doctor and Rose are standing in the centre looking slightly confused in the searchlight._ **

**LOUDSPEAKER:** **Raise your hands above your head! You are under arrest!**

**_The Doctor and Rose obey._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Take me to your leader!**

“I always wanted to say that” Jack ad eleven both commented, much to the amusement of the others.

**_Rose clambers into the back of a police car next to the Doctor. The door shuts and they drive off._ **

**ROSE:** **This is a bit posh. If I knew it was gonna be like this - being arrested - I'd have done it years ago.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **We're not being arrested, we're being escorted!**

**ROSE:** **Where to?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Where'd you think? Downing Street!**

**_He laughs. Rose joins in._ **

So do the others, but they don’t know why.

**ROSE:** **You're kidding.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm not!**

**ROSE:** **10 Downing Street?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's the one!**

**_Rose laughs with glee._ **

**ROSE:** **Oh, my God! I'm going to 10 Downing Street?**

**_The Doctor nods, grinning._ **

**ROSE:** **How come?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I hate to say it, but Mickey was right. Over the years I've visited this planet a lot of times, and I've been, uh - noticed.**

_Not noticed, more like tracked_ eleven thought bitterly. Damn Torchwood.

**ROSE:** **Now they need you?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Like it said on the news - they're gathering experts in alien knowledge. And who's the biggest expert of the lot?**

**_He grins expectantly at her._ **

**ROSE:** **Patrick Moore?**

Jack laughed.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Apart from him!**

**ROSE:** **Ah, don't you just love it**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm telling you, Lloyd George - he used to drink me under the table. Who's the Prime Minister now?**

**ROSE:** **How should I know? I missed a year.**

“Ummmmm….” Everyone was trying to think but they couldn’t remember the name. “Oh well” Jack said happily.

**_The car pulls up outside 10 Downing Street. The paparazzi and hundreds of police men are there. The Doctor gets out of the car and waves at them all, grinning manically. Rose smiles nervously and the looks up at 10 Downing Street._ **

**ROSE:** **_(under her breath)_ ** **Oh my God!**

**_She follows the Doctor inside. Jackie is talking to three police officers._ **

**JACKIE:** **So, she's alright then? She's not in any trouble?**

**STRICKLAND:** **Well, all I can say is, your daughter and her 'companion' might be in a position to help the country. We'll need to know how she made contact with this man - if he is a man. _(sits down with a loud grumble from his belly)_ Oh! Right - off you go then. I need to talk to Mrs Tyler on my own, thank-you. **

“He’s an alien isn’t he?” Rory said, the same tone he has every time he says ‘oh I’m dead, again’ although only Amy notices this and she smiles.

**_The other two police officers exit the flat. Harriet Jones slips inconspicuously down the stairs. She enters a room where the alien experts are standing around talking, waiting for the meeting to begin. She flashes her ID card at the policeman standing guard at the door._ **

**HARRIET:** **Harriet Jones - MP - Flydale North.**

“Nice” Jack said grinning, Harriet Jones what a woman.

**S _he mingles amongst the people. Indra enters._**

**INDRA:** **Ladies and Gentlemen, could we convene? Quick as we can, please. It's this way on the right and can I remind you, ID cards are to be worn at all times. _(approaches the Doctor, gives him an ID card)_ Here's your ID card. I'm sorry, your companion doesn't have clearance.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I don't go anywhere without her. _(loops the ID card around his neck)_**

**INDRA:** **You're the code nine, not her.**

_Wrong move, you never split the doctor and his companion up._ River thought as this happened.

**_Harriet sidles up to them._ **

**INDRA:** **I'm sorry, Doctor... it is the Doctor, isn't it? She'll have to stay outside.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **She's staying with me.**

**INDRA:** **Look, even Idon't have clearance to go in there. I can't let her in and that's a fact.**

**ROSE:** **_(to the Doctor)_ ** **It's alright, you go.**

**_Harriet appears at Indra's shoulder._ **

**HARRIET:** **Excuse me? Are you the Doctor?**

**_Indra looks positively exasperated._ **

“Haha, he likes her, he just can’t say it” Jack said gleefully.

**INDRA:** **Not now, we're busy - can't you go home?**

**THE DOCTOR** **_: (to Rose)_ ** **Are you sure?**

**ROSE:** **Yeah, they're the experts, you should hear what they've got to say.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I s'pose so. Don't get into any trouble.**

“Nice try” Both doctors said to each other’s, as everyone else looked confused, they complimented themselves, didn’t they? River just laughed, _he will never change._ She thought.

**_The Doctor follows the other experts into the room._ **

**HARRIET:** **_(to Indra)_ ** **I just need a word in private.**

**INDRA:** **You haven't got clearance, now leave it! _(takes Rose's arm)_ I'm going to have to leave you with security. _(begins to lead her away)_**

**HARRIET:** **It's alright. I'll look after her. Let me be of some use. _(to Rose)_ Walk with me. Just keep walking**

**_They walk past the guards at the door._ **

**HARRIET:** **That's right... don't look round! Harriet Jones, MP Flydale North.  
 _(shows Rose her ID card)_**

**_The experts are sitting down in their seats. Joseph and Asquith make their way to the desk at the front. The Doctor enters last and takes a seat at the back of the room, reading the booklet he finds on the chair extremely quickly. Harriet is outside in the corridor talking to Rose._ **

**HARRIET:** **_(upset and distressed)_ ** **This friend of yours... he's an expert, is that right? He knows about aliens?**

**ROSE:** **Why do you wanna know?**

**_Harriet breaks down into tears. Rose takes her arms awkwardly in an attempt to comfort her._ **

“I really am not good at comforting people” Rose told the room, some sniggered *coughed*Jack*Cough* at her awkwardness. Some just felt really sorry for Harriet Jones.

**ASQUITH:** **Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to have your attention please. As you can see from the summaries in front of you, the ship had one porcine occupant—**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Now, the REALLYinteresting bit happened three days ago, see, filed away under every other business. The North Sea - the satellite detected a signal, a little blip of radiation at one hundred fathoms like there was something down there... you were just about to investigate and the next thing you know, this happens - spaceships, pigs - massive diversion - from what?**

“Woah, jumped right into it didn’t you?” Jack stated

I didn’t want to lose anytime over people babbling o” Eleven defended.

**_Harriet Jones is back in the cabinet room and showing Rose the body suit of Oliver._ **

**HARRIET:** **They turned the body into a suit! A disguise for the thing inside! _(bursts into tears again)_**

**ROSE:** **It's alright! I believe you. It's... it's alien. They must have some SERIOUStechnology behind this... if we could find it _(starts rummaging around the room)_ we could use it. **

**_She opens a cupboard and the Prime Minister's body falls out. Rose and Harriet hurry to examine it._ **

**ROSE:** **Oh, my God! Is that--?**

**_Indra enters._ **

“Please don’t say he dies, I like him” Gwen said, with Ianto nodding along.

**INDRA:** **Harriet, for God's sake! This has gone beyond a joke - you cannot just wander--  
 _(spots the body on the floor)_ Oh, my God. That's the Prime Minister! **

**_The Doctor is still lecturing the experts, Asquith and Joseph._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **If aliens fake an alien crash and an alien pilot, what do they get? _(a pause as he works it out)_ Us. They get us. It's not a diversion, it's a trap. **

“Shit” Gwen and Jack swore at the same time, causing people to chuckle.

**MARGARET:** **Ohhh!**

**_Indra, Rose and Harriet turn to see Margaret enter the cabinet room._ **

**MARGARET (CONT'D):** **Has someone been naughty?**

“Get outta there” Jack said, really getting into the episode. Rose just laughed at him.

**_They look at each other. Margaret shuts the door behind her. Jackie goes into the kitchen. She is still speaking to the officer, Strickland._ **

**JACKIE:** **It was bigger on the inside. I dunno, what do I know about spaceships?**

**STRICKLAND:** **That's what worries me. You see, this man is classified as 'trouble'. Which means that anyone associated with him IStrouble. _(looks at Jackie through the hatch, retreats back into the living room)_ And that's my job. _(takes off his hat to reveal a zip on his forehead)_ Eliminating trouble. **

“Can anything else go wrong” Rory asked, also getting into the episode.

**_He starts to undo the zip, filling the room with a blue light._ **

**INDRA:** **That's impossible. He left this afternoon. The Prime Minister left Downing Street, he was driven away!**

**MARGARET:** **And who told you that? Hmm? _(walks to the baffled Indra)_ Me. _(strokes the hair from her forehead)_**

**THE DOCTOR:** **This is all about us.**

**_The experts all look intrigued._ **

**THE DOCTO:** **Alien experts - the only people with knowledge how to fight them gathered together in one room.**

**_Joseph farts. The Doctor raises his eyebrows and fixes him with a pointed look._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Excuse me, do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world?**

“It is rather rude” Rose said in a fake posh accent, ten just gave her his special smile, while everyone else laughed.

**JOSEPH:** **Would you rather silent but deadly?**

Jack sniggered, but immediately stopped when the next bit came up.

**_Asquith and Joseph snigger. The Doctor stares at them. Asquith takes off his hat and undoes the zip on his forehead while Joseph laughs manically. Asquith pulls the skin suit down and reveals the Slitheen inside. The Doctor stares at him, transfixed._ **

“Oh god, you froze up?” Jack asked Astonished.

“I DID NOT” The doctors said outraged.

“Were you scared like a little girl?” he asked in an extremely patronising voice. They just ignored him, both thinking that was some they would say, hell eleven remembered saying things like that to Mickey.

**_Margaret pulls her skin suit, revealing herself to the disgust and shock of Indra, Harriet and Rose. Jackie pauses halfway through making the tea. The flickering blue light is filling the whole flat. She tentatively walks to the kitchen door. Asquith finishes shrugging off his skin suit. Joseph is still cackling evilly. Jackie, now framed in the doorway of the kitchen, beholds the alien. Her eyes widen with shock. She takes deep breaths. Margaret is now entirely out of her skin suit. She stands before Rose, Indra and Harriet who all look astounded. Asquith, also out of his skin suit, straightens up and addresses the room._ **

**SLITHEEN/ASQUITH:** **We are the Slitheen.**

“Slitheen, I’ve heard of the,” Gwen muttered to Jack.

“Yeah I may have mentioned them” He told her smiling.

**_Margaret roars in delight and grabs Indra between her claws, pinning him up against the wall. He shouts as she strangles him._ **

“No” Gwen and Amy moaned, why did all the nice ones have to get killed?

**_The Slitheen advances on Jackie. She screams and backs against the counter, sinking against it as the Slitheen raises his claw to strike._ **

**JOSEPH:** **Thank you all for wearing your ID cards. _(takes a weapon from his pocket, at the ready--)_ They'll help to identify the bodies.**

**_He presses the button. Everyone in the room is bathed in electric light. The Doctor falls to his knees in pain. Margaret strangles Indra. Harriet and Rose wince. Jackie screams as the Slitheen prepares to strike. The Doctor shouts in pain as his whole body shakes. Joseph has a savage pleasure in his eyes. Asquith laughs. TO BE CONTINUED, shows up on the screen._ **

“AWWW DAMN” Jack moaned “Next episode c’mon, next episode”

“Nah” Ten said “I’m a bit hungry”

“Yeah” eleven joined in “How about more food”

“No please I really want to see what happens next” Jack was practically jumping in his seat with anticipation.

“Oh I don’t know” Rose said yawning, “I’m kind of Tired” Everyone was laughing at Jacks pained face as he turned on the puppy dog eyes. Ianto just rolled his eyes with everyone else and they all relaxed back into their seats and Jack let put a yelp of happiness. “I can’t wait” He said gleefully, as the screen turned on. **  
**


	6. World War Three (2)

** Chapter 6: World War Three (2) **

**With a huge effort, the Doctor manages to shake the electricity from his body. Sweating, he staggers to his feet with it held in his hand.**

**THE DOCTOR** **: Deadly to humans, maybe.**

“Yes then Doctor!” Jack said rubbing his hands as if cold, he was so excited and he didn’t know why.

**_He plunges it into the chest of the Slitheen. Both Joseph and the Slitheen howl with pain._ **

“As a good man once said, Justice” Jack laughed.

“Really who said that?” River asked.

“Vernon Dursley”

“…” Everyone just went silent and looked at each other.  
“You can read?” Rory asked, astonished.

“Yes, I read” Jack told them matter-of-factly “But that does come from the films, I mean the books are over 200 pages long…BORING”

Ten was too mad at jack saying that Harry Potter was boring to say anything, but River couldn’t help but roll her eyes as Eleven too, shifted in his seat with annoyance clear in his facial features.

**_Margaret, also covered in the electricity, drops Indra's body from the wall. In the kitchen, the Slitheen who was attacking Jackie is also suffering._ ** **_The Doctor dashes to the door, past the bodies._ _Rose grabs Harriet's hand and they run from the room, Harriet whimpering slightly, Rose just looking terrified._ _Jackie is still crouched on the floor in horror, watching the alien screeching in pain. Mickey appears in the doorway._**

“Oh great, him again” Ianto whispered, which was quite out of character for the tea boy. Gwen just gaped at him then turned her head back to the screen. _These people are bringing out something different in Ianto._ She thought to herself, and she didn’t know whether it was good or not.

**MICKEY** **: Jackie!**

**_He whacks the Slitheen over the head with a chair, grabs Jackie's arms and pulls her out of the kitchen. He pauses in the doorway to take his phone out of his pocket and snap a picture of the Slitheen._ **

“Gotta admit, he’s quite smart” Jack told the room who nodded.

“Well he’s got to have some brain cells” Ianto told them, and they all laughed, apart from Rose and Eleven, who both just sighed.

**_He grins, and then runs to join Jackie. The Doctor finds security all gathered in reception._ **

**THE DOCTOR** **: Oi! You want aliens - you've got them. They're inside Downing Street. _(claps his hands)_ Come on!**

“And that doesn’t look gay at all” Jack exclaimed sarcastically.

They all laughed, and Rose said “But you just said…” She trailed off, and Ianto told her, “Don’t even try to understand him” Rose still looked totally and utterly confused.

**_He leads them in the direction of the conference room, their guns at the ready. Joseph finally manages to deactivate the weapon, and the electricity disappears._ **

“God dammit” Jack said excitedly.

**_He picks up the skin suit of General Asquith._ **

**SLITHEEN/ASQUITH:** **Reinstate my disguise! Hurry up! Hurry! Hurry!**

“Great, now you’re going to get blamed for them dying” River said knowingly, and when the Doctor’s stayed silent she just sighed. O _f course he would be blamed, he gets blamed for everything_ she thought, and then added, _well, he wouldn’t be the Doctor if he got blamed for everything._

**_Joseph hastens to help the Slitheen into the skin suit. Rose and Jackie run down a corridor._ **

**HARRIET** **: No, wait! _(they stop)_ They're still in there! The emergency protocols! We need them!**

“See that’s why you always have a smart person with you” Jack told the group, the Doctors grinned, taking it as a compliment.

“Too bad we don’t have one of them” Amy teased as, the others roared with laughter. The doctors grins turned into grimaces, and Rose patted tens arm, affectionately, still trying to fight off the sniggers.

**_She runs back in the direction of the cabinet room. Rose follows her, but they are quickly forced to change direction as Margaret Slitheen comes their way._ **

“oops”

**_She chases them. They run across a hallway, Rose closing the door behind them._ **

“Not going to work” Jack tells rose, in a sing song voice.

**_Margaret simply leaps through it._ **

“told ya”

“No one disagreed” Rose answered, smiling smugly Jack just looked on unaffected.

**_Rose and Harriet arrive back in another room, shutting the door behind them. The Doctor leads security into the meeting room, where Joseph is making the finishing touches to Asquith's skin suit. They both stop when they see the Doctor and security standing there._ **

“You never catch a break do you?” Rory asked the doctors, who started shaking their heads glumly.

**JOSEPH** **: Where've you been?**

**_Security start checking the bodies for any sign of life._ **

**JOSEPH:** **I called for help, I sounded the alarm. There was this... lightening! This kind of er... um... electricity, and they all collapsed!**

**SGT. PRICE** **: I think they're all dead.**

**JOSEPH** **: That's what I'm saying. He did it! _(points at the Doctor)_ That man there!**

“Here we go again” River said sighing, every time this happens. Every.damn.time.

**THE DOCTOR** **: I think you will find the Prime Minister is an alien in disguise.**

“You actually thought that would work?” Gwen asked the doctors who shrugged and both told her “Worth a try”.

**_Joseph folds his arms sceptically. The Doctor looks at the policeman next to him._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's never going to work, is it?**

“Nope” Everybody in the room, apart from the doctors, said at the same time. They all looked at each other then laughed.

**POLICEMAN** **: Nope.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Fair enough.**

**_He runs for it._ **

“An awful lot of running to do-oooOOOoooo….” Jack sang, as everyone had to cover their ears **(A/N Yes I know John Barrowmen is a good singer, but I just had to, okay?)**

“What the bloody hell was that?” **(A/N Sorry :L)** Ianto asked him, still trying to get the hearing in his left ear back.

“It was a song about the doctor actually” Jack told him matter-of-factly “ And you’re just jealous because of my amazing talents”

“A what?” Ten asked at the same time as eleven, who asked “ About who?”

“I don’t know, I just found them on youtube, along with a couple of cat videos” Jack answered. River decided to speak up.

“Have either of you met Charlie McDonnell or Alex Day yet?” she asked the two, knowing the answer already. They both answered “no” at the same time.

“Well, in your future, my past, you meet Charlie and Alex, and they travel with you.” She told them and they gave her a look as if to say _and._ “And they recorded different meetings with you and your companions, and they put them on Youtube, calling it Trock. Everyone just thinks it’s a new kind of way to make music. Anyway, yeah people seem to really like them and of course you forbade them to say that’s actually real.” The doctors just looked horrified at the thought of having people singing about their adventures. “Well in the future you like it” She told the two, “You even met their other band members, Ed Blann, Michael Aranda and Liam Dryden, who looks surprisingly like you” She told ten who just sat there gaping at her, it was pretty hard for the others not to laugh at the expression on his face.

Ianto broke up the gaping session, that was going on between the doctor’s and asked, rather shyly “Shouldn’t we get back to the TV?” Everyone nodded, and all turned to the TV.

**_Security are hot on the Doctor's tail, and he soon finds himself surrounded. He puts his hands in the air, grinning._ **

**ASQUITH** **: Under the jurisdiction of the Emergency Protocols, I authorize you to execute this man!**

**_Security ready their guns._ **

**THE DOCTOR** **: Uh, well, now, yes. You see, eh... the thing is... if I was you, if I was going to execute someone by backing them against the wall, between you and me, little word of advice... _(life behind him pings open)_ Don't stand them against the lift!**

“Genius” A couple of people said, smiling, the doctors just looked smug at the compliment. _Great_ River thought seeing this _give him some more reasons to have a big head._ Little did she know, Rose was thinking exactly the same thing.

**_He backs into the lift and closes the door with his sonic screwdriver. Margaret Slitheen is still chasing Rose and Harriet. Rose knees a locked door._ **

“Feisty” Jack said, wriggling his eyebrows.

**_The lift pings open, revealing the Doctor. Margaret roars at him, and he smiles and nods around at them all._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(pleasantly)_ ** **Hello!**

“Only you doctor” Amy told the two and they smiled.

**_The doors shut again, distracting Margaret long enough for Rose and Harriet to slip away un-noticed._ ** **_Rose and Harriet find themselves in a room where all the doors are locked - a dead end._**

“You never catch a break do you?” Gwen just asked, well everyone, who all nodded, apart from Ianto, of course.

**ROSE** **: Hide!**

“Sorry but it’s not going to work” River told Rose, who grinned.

“It was worth a try” she answered.

**_They both hide themselves extremely poorly._ ** **_The lift pings and the Doctor steps out on the second floor._ _Asquith and security are still standing next to the lift they backed the Doctor against._** **_Asquith tells them the upper floors are in quarantine._ ** **_The lift pings. Joseph and Asquith step into it. Sargent Price tells them they have to evacuate the building. Joseph refuses, using the emergency protocols as an excuse and steps back into the lift._ **

**JOESEPH:** **Seal off number 10 - secure the ground floor - and if the Doctor makes it downstairs - shoot on site!**

**_He shuts the doors. The sergeant turns to face the others._ **

**SGT. PRICE** **: Well, you heard him! Move out!**

**_They do so. The sergeant follows them._ **

**ASQUITH** **: Let the sport begin.**

**_Joseph farts._ **

“If I haven’t said before, they have lovely manners” Amy told the room, a disgusted look on her face. Everyone agreed with her.

**JOSEPH:** **I'm getting poisoned by the gas exchange. I need to be naked!**

**ASQUITH** **: Rejoice in it! Your body is... magnificent.**

“That’s what she said” Jack snorted as he said it.

“What are you? Twelve?” Rose asked him, although she was smiling with him.

**_They both undo the zips on their foreheads. Margaret Slitheen enters._ **

**SLITHEEN/MARGARET** **: _(playfully)_ Oh, such fun! Little human children... where are you? Sweet little humeykins... come to me... let me kiss you better**

“Great, so they have good smell aswell, just great” Rory muttered.

**_Rose bolts from her hiding place behind a cabinet to take refuge behind the curtain._ **

**SLITHEEN/MARGARET:** **kiss you with my big, green lips. _(hisses)_**

“I didn’t know she could speak parstletongue!” Jack exclaimed. The others just laughed at is actions.

**_The Doctor runs down a flight of stairs, hearing the Sergeant barking orders in the distance. Then he hears the lift ping, and hastily backtracks and hides in a crevice next to the door. The two Slitheen walk past._ **

**SLITHEEN/JOSEPH** **: We'll keep this floor quarantined as our last hunting ground before the final phase.**

**_The Doctor waits until they are out of sight._ ** **_The two Slitheen, Joseph and Asquith join Margaret._**

“Oh great, just what you need, more aliens” Ianto said, sighing.

**SLITHEEN/MARGARET:** **My brothers.**

**SLITHEEN/JOSEPH:** **Happy hunting?**

**SLITHEEN/MARGARET:** **It's wonderful. The more you prolong it, the more they stink.**

**SLITHEEN/ASQUITH:** **Sweat... and fear.**

**_Harriet's mouth drops open with horror._ **

**SLITHEEN/JOSEPH:** **I can smell an old girl... stale bird... brittle bones.**

“Lovely”

**SLITHEEN/MARGARET:** **And a ripe youngster. All hormones and adrenaline. Fresh enough to bend before she snaps.**

**_Margaret sweeps the curtain aside revealing Rose, who screams. Harriet jumps out from her hiding place._ **

**HARRIET:** **No! Take me first! Take me!**

“Always liked her, I still don’t see how she got fired, she was a god PM” Gwen said. “She even found out about Torchwood! Not an easy feat, I’ll tell you that”

**_The Doctor crashes in and blasts a fire extinguisher in the Slitheen's faces._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Out! With me!**

**_Rose pulls the curtains down over Margaret's head and then both she and Harriet run to stand behind the Doctor. The Doctor looks at Harriet._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Who the hell are you?**

**HARRIET:** **Harriet Jones - MP for Flydale North.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Nice to meet you.**

**HARRIET:** **Likewise.**

“Always exchanging pleasantries, even in a dangerous situation” Rose smiled as she said this, and ten also flashed a smile back.

**_The Doctor blasts the fire extinguisher again. Then they run for it._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **We need to get to the cabinet rooms!**

**HARRIET:** **The Emergency Protocols are in there! They give instructions on aliens!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Harriet Jones - I like you.**

“I think we all do” River said. Ten still felt guilty about deposing her, but she should have known not to get a Timelord angry. Eleven was also feeling guilty, but not for the same reasons. She had given er life for the earth, and he could never pay her back for it.

**HARRIET:** **And I like you too.**

“Don’t we all?” River asked quietly, although Amy heard her, and smiled.

**_They run. The Doctor bypasses a locked door with his sonic screwdriver and the Slitheen pursue them all the way back to the cabinet room. They have no time to close the door, so instead the Doctor picks up a bottle of brandy and hold his sonic screwdriver to it._ **

“You always come up with the best and worst ideas” River told the doctors, who looked pleased, and offended, at that comment. They both ended up just taking it as a compliment though.

**THE DOCTOR** **: One more move and my sonic device will triplicate the flammability of this alcohol. Whoof! We all go up. So back off.**

“LIE” Jack shouted.

**_The Slitheen hesitate._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Right then. Question time. Who exactly are the Slitheen?**

**HARRIET:** **They're aliens.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes. I got that, thanks.**

“Sarcasm really suits you, you know?” Rory told the doctors who smiled.

“Too bad it’s the lowest form of wit” Amy told them, everyone laughed and the doctors just pouted, again. **(A/N Is this happening too much?)**

**SLITHEEN/JOSEPH:** **Who are you, if not human?**

**HARRIET:** **Who's not human?**

**ROSE:** **He's not human.**

**HARRIET:** **He's not human?**

“I just… love it… when they find out” Jack said through laughter.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Can I have a bit of hush?**

**HARRIET:** **Sorry.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **So - what's the plan?**

**HARRIET:** **But he's got a Northern accent.**

“Lots of planets have a North” everyone quoted, much to the amusement of the doctors.

**ROSE:** **Lots of planets have a North.**

They all just laughed, _only the doctor_ , going through most minds.

**THE DOCTOR:** **I said hush. Come on!**

**_He holds the brandy threateningly out in front of him._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **You've got a spaceship hidden in the North Sea. It's transmitting a signal. You've murdered your way to the top of government - what for? Invasion?**

**SLITHEEN/ASQUITH:** **Why would we invade this God forsaken rock?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Then something's brought the Slitheen race here - what is it?**

**SLITHEEN/ASQUITH:** **'The Slitheen race'?**

**SLITHEEN/JOSEPH:** **Slitheen is not our species. Slitheen is our surname. Jocrassa Fel Fotch Pasameer Day Slitheen at your service.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **So, you're family.**

**SLITHEEN/JOSEPH:** **It's a family business.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Then you're out to make a profit. How can you do that on a 'God forsaken rock'?**

**SLITHEEN/ASQUITH:** **Ahhh... excuse me? Your device will do what? Triplicate the flammability...?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Is that what I said?**

**SLITHEEN/ASQUITH:** **You're making it up!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Ah, well! Nice try. Harriet, have a drink. I think you're gonna need it. _(offers her the brandy)_**

“Such a gentlemen” Rose cooed.

**HARRIET:** **Pass it to the left first.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Sorry. _(hands it to Rose)_**

**ROSE:** **Thanks.**

“I needed it at that moment” Rose said, grinning.

“My kind of woman” Jack said grinning back, Rose pretended to gag, while Ten started laughing along with the others. That was after he had a face of thunder at Jacks words.

**SLITHEEN/ASQUITH:** **Now we can end this hunt... with a slaughter.**

**_He flexes his claws menacingly. The Doctor fold his arms._ **

“Ga-“ Jack was cut off by a pillow that was thrown at his head.

**ROSE:** **Don't you think we should run?**

“Don’t forget, the doctor always has a plan” Eleven said, talking about himself in the third person. Everyone, even Ianto and Gwen snorted at his words.

“Sweetie, you’re not fooling anybody” River told the doctor, who huffed and looked away.

**_The Slitheen shuffle forward._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Fascinating history, Downing Street. Two thousand years ago, this was marsh land. 1730, it was occupied by a Mr. Chicken.**

“He was a nice man” Ten, Eleven and surprisingly River said at the same time. Everyone, even ten and eleven gaped at her. “Spoilers” She told them mysteriously, leaving Jack groaning at the thought of having to wait for more spoilers.

**THE DOCTOR: He was a nice man. 1796, this was the cabinet room - if the cabinet's in session and in danger, these are about the four most safest walls in the whole of Great Britain. _(presses a switch near the door)_ End of lesson _._**

Everyone just smiled, and Jack whooped, however Amy was the first to question “Doesn’t that mean you’re trapped?” She asked the doctors who nodded.

**_Every entrance to the room is immediately blocked by metal shutters. The Doctor turns to Rose and Harriet._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Installed in 1991. Three inches of steel lining every single wall. They'll never get in.**

**ROSE:** **And how do we get out?**

**_Pause._ **

**THE DOCTOR** **: Ah.**

“Yeah, didn’t think of that” Ten told them and they all just rolled their eyes.

**JOSEPH** **: He is safely contained. Now, cut off communications inside that room, then summon the family, it's time we finished with this insane planet for good!**

**_They make to leave. Jackie and Mickey emerge from a side door of the block of flats. They run stealthily across the yard to avoid detection from the policeman who still surround the building. They remain unnoticed._ **

“Oops I forgot about them” Jack said, with everybody nodding in agreement.

**REPORTER:** **And there's still no word from inside Downing Street, though we are getting even more new arrivals.**

**_He looks around as another fat man gets out of a car outside Downing Street._ **

**REPORTER:** **That's group Captain Tennant James of the RAF - though why he's been summoned, I've no idea.**

“Tennant” River mumbled, then told the group “I’ve heard that name from somewhere” Everyone just shrugged their shoulders and went back to the TV, River let it go…. for now.

**_Another man emerges from a car._ **

**REPORTER:** **And that's ah... Ewan McAllister. Deputy Secretary for the Scottish Parliament. And this is most unusual!**

**_A fat woman makes her way to 10 Downing Street._ **

**REPORTER:** **I'm told that is Sylvia Dillane - chairman of the North Sea Boating Club. Quite what connects these people, we have no idea.**

“How ‘bout the fact they’re all aliens?” Rory asked sarcastically.

**_Margaret comes down the stairs and greats Tennant James. Margaret tells them they are meeting upstairs. He farts._ **

**MARGARET:** **That's the spirit. Off you go.**

**_Ewan McAllister stands in front of her - she shakes his hand, tells him it is good to see him and nods pleasantly at Sylvia. Asquith stops the Sergeant as he goes past._ **

**ASQUITH:** **Ah! Sergeant - now that the Doctor's been neutralized, the upper levels are out of bounds - to everyone.**

“And that’s not something to suspect at all” Ianto muttered annoyed, sometimes people were really stupid.

**SGT. PRICE:** **Then who are they?**

**_He nods towards the three newcomers who are now going up the stairs._ **

**ASQUITH** **: Ahh, Sergeant. I want you to liaise with communications - the acting Prime Minister will be making a public address. He will speak to the nations of the world.**

**_He walks off, leaving the Sergeant looking bewildered and confused. Margaret is showing her family into a room._ **

**MARGARET:** **There you are - if you'd just like to go through and get changed.**

**_She ushers Sylvia into the room and grabs a coat hanger on her way to the other door. She takes a skin suit from an emerging Slitheen._ **

**MARGARET:** **Now, if you'd like to head down to the end corridor, it's first on the left.**

**SLITHEEN:** **Thank you.**

**_Margaret hangs the skin suit up. Jackie and Mickey are in Mickey's kitchen. Mickey is holding a kettle._ **

“So British, when in doubt or danger or anytime at all, have Tea” Amy said grinning.

**JACKIE:** **Have you got anything stronger?**

“Like mother, like Daughter, eh?” Jack winked to Rose who just laughed.

**MICKEY:** **No chance, I've seen you when you've had a few - this aint time for a conga.**

“Now I have to get Rose drunk” Jack said grinning widely.

**JACKIE:** **_(sits)_ ** **We've gotta tell someone.**

**MICKEY:** **Who do we trust? For all we know, they've all got big bog monsters inside of them. I mean, this is what he does, Jacks. _(brandishes a couple of mugs at her in his enthusiasm)_ Everywhere he goes - death and destruction, and he's got Rose in the middle of it.**

“I resent that” Both doctors said, and everyone raised their eyebrows at them. Ten then said “There’s not _always_ destruction” he told them, although most still had disbelieving looks on their faces.

**JACKIE** **: Has he got a great big green thing inside him, then?**

“Urgh” Eleven said, he hated that thought.

**MICKEY:** **I wouldn't put it past him. _(takes a bottle of milk from the fridge)_ But like it or not, he's the only person who knows how to fight these things.**

**JACKIE:** **I thought I was gonna die.**

**_She bursts into tears. Mickey gives her a quick hug._ **

**MICKEY:** **Come on, yeah? If anyone's gonna cry, it's gonna be me. Now, you're safe in my flat, Jacks - no one's gonna look for you here, especially since you hate me so much.**

**JACKIE:** **You saved my life. God, that's embarrassing.**

“Pretty much”

**MICKEY:** **You're telling me.**

**_They laugh slightly._ **

**JACKIE:** **He wanted me dead. And he's still out there, Mickey _(stands)_ That policeman... that thing**

**_Strickland sniffs the air. He turns to another policeman behind him._ **

**STRICKLAND:** **Right - you head off. You're in full control, I've got one or two things that still need doing. I haven't quite finished with Mrs. Tyler yet**

“I sense trouble” Jack said, leaning forward, he loved trouble, especially when he knew they would survive.

“Not hard, when you’re watching the doctors life” Rory told him with a “Hey” from the doctors.

“True” Jack agreed, completely ignoring the doctors exclamations.

**_The other police officers nod and get in the car. Joseph goes up to Margaret who is adjusting the skin suit on the hangers._ **

**JOSEPH:** **Is that all of us?**

**MARGARET:** **All the family except Sit Fel Fotch.**

“Nice name” Gwen snorted, everyone else laughed with her.

**MARGARER: He's found a hunt of his own.**

**JOSEPH:** **Ah!**

**_They smile and he walks off. The Doctor drags Indra's body into a cupboard,_ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **What was his name?**

**HARRIET:** **Which one?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **This one - the secretary or whatever he was called.**

**_Harriet goes to look._ **

**HARRIET:** **I don't know. I talked to him. I brought him a cup of coffee. I never asked his name.**

“That’s always bad, not knowing someone, even though you’ve talked to them, especially if they’ve died” Eleven said depressed. Which surprised Amy he was always so cheerful, she had only seen him like this a couple of times and it was not fun.

**_The Doctor crosses Indra's hands over his body._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Sorry. _(strides into the room)_ Right, what have we got? Any terminals? Anything?**

**ROSE:** **No. The place is antique. What I don't get, is when they killed the Prime Minister, why didn't they use him as a disguise?**

“Too slim” Rory muttered, surprising the doctors, maybe they did, especially eleven, overlook how smart he was. Amy just smiled, sometimes she loved it when he shocked people.

**THE DOCTOR:** **He's too slim - they're big old beasts, they need to fit inside big humans.**

**ROSE:** **But the Slitheen are about 8 feet, how do they squeeze inside?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's the device around their necks - compression field - literally shrinks them down a bit. That's why there's all that gas, it's a big exchange.**

“Wish I could use that to go a couple of sizes smaller” Said all the woman and…Jack. He just grinned at the looks he was getting, while Rose was observing Amy, a little jealous, she was so skinny! She then chuckled to herself, wow she hadn’t had a thought like that since, well then, with the Slitheen.

**ROSE:** **Wish I had a compression field, I could fit a size smaller.**

**HARRIET:** **Excuse me, people are dead, this is not the time for making jokes.**

“Actually, I find it’s the perfect time to make jokes, lightens the mood a bit” Jack told the group, and Gwen smacked him around the head.

**ROSE:** **Sorry... you get used to this stuff when you're friends with him.**

“True” River agreed with Rose, who smiled.

**_She indicates the Doctor, who is busy scanning the walls with his sonic screwdriver._ **

**HARRIET:** **Well, that's a strange friendship.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Harriet Jones - I've heard that name before - Harriet Jones. You're not famous for anything, are you?**

“Well she is the Prime minister of ‘Britain’s Golden Age’” Gwen told ten who smiled. And answered “I know all of the Prime Minister’s name, even if they’re insignificant, well actually no one is insignificant, 900 years of travelling and I’ve never met anyone insignificant” He told her then added “But some are rather annoying” He shared a look with her, then nodded towards Jack. She laughed, and Jack looked bewildered.

“What?” She laughed more “What? Have I got something on my face?” he rubbed is face, and Gwen just couldn’t stop laughing at his expression “Oh no what is it, please don’t say I have a grey hair, or a wrinkle, my god have I gained weight?!” He asked suddenly very self-conscious, which made everyone break down laughing. Jack just huffed, still very scared at what Gwen was laughing at, what if he was getting fat or old, making a mental note to check a mirror soon, he went back to watching the TV, waiting for the laughter to die down, which took a couple of minutes.

**HARRIET:** **Huh! Hardly.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Rings a bell, Harriet Jones**

**_He looks as though he is struggling to remember something._ **

**HARRIET:** **Lifelong back bencher I'm afraid, and a fat lot of use I'm being now - the protocols are redundant, they list the people who can help and they're all dead downstairs.**

**ROSE:** **Hasn't it got like, defence codes and things? Can we just launch a nuclear bomb at 'em?**

“You’re very violent aren’t you?” Rory asked Rose who just laughed, with ten nodding ‘yes’ at him. This earned a whack over the head from Rose.

**HARRIET:** **_(stares)_ ** **You're a very violent young woman**

**ROSE:** **I'm serious! We could!**

“It would be fun!” Jack said grinning, while everyone else just shook their head.

“Just because you can survive being blown up” Eleven told Jack who looked at him in bewilderment.

“I can?” He asked, Eleven just groaned, “How do you constantly keep secrets?” He asked River who just laughed smugly.

**HARRIET:** **Well, there's nothing like that in here. Nuclear strikes do need a release code, yes, but it's kept secret by the United Nations.**

**_The Doctor stops scanning the mantelpiece with his sonic screwdriver to listen._ **

“Wait I thought it doesn’t do wood?” Amy asked, and the doctors just rolled their eyes, “ I wasn’t scanning the wood” Eleven told her.

“Then what were you doing?” She asked, but he and ten wouldn’t answer.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Say that again.**

**HARRIET:** **What, about the codes?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Anything. All of it.**

**HARRIET:** **Um, well... the British Isles can't gain access to atomic weapons without a special resolution from the UN.**

“Like that’s ever stopped them” River said laughing, Rose, Ten and Eleven just looked shocked.

“What?” She asked.

“You’ll see” Rose told her.

**ROSE:** **Like that's ever stopped them.**

“Awww the doctors girlfriends think alike” Jack teased, he found himself being hit, shot at and shouted at by three of the four women in the room. Meanwhile, Ten was having the words _girlfriends_ , going through his head. While Rose, completely ignoring the fact he said _girlfriends_ plural, was finding herself oddly jealous of River, and her relationship with the Doctor.

**HARRIET:** **Exactly, given our past record - and I voted against that, thank you very much. The codes have been taken out of the governments hands and given to the UN.**

**_The Doctor is deep in thought._ **

**HARRIET:** **Is it important?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Everything's important.**

**HARRIET:** **If we only knew what the Slitheen wanted. Listen to me, I'm saying 'Slitheen' as if it's normal.**

“You get used to it” Gwen told the TV, and this time she found herself being laughed at by, well, everyone. Jack was in hysterics and they had to wait 5 minutes for him to calm down. “Idiot” Gwen mumbled, but Jack just smiled.

**ROSE:** **What do they want, though?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, it's just one family so it's not an invasion. They don't want Slitheen world... they're out to make money, which means they want to use something, something here on Earth... some kind of asset.**

**HARRIET:** **Like what? Gold? Oil? Water?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You're very good at this.**

**HARRIET:** **_(pleased)_ ** **Thank you.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Harriet Jones - why do I know that name?**

**_Rose's phone goes off._ **

**ROSE:** **Oh! That's me.**

“I forgot about the doctors phone powers” Amy said grinning.

“Phone powers?” Eleven asked.

“Yeah, well you like make it amazing”

“But you don’t have to make me sound like the most idiotic superhero ever” He told her, “What do I do, call a hundred people within a minute?”

“Well what do you want to be called? Brain Boy?”

Eleven just huffed, “well, no, but I could have a better one then phone whiz, like Fez man, or Time man, Mad Man with a blue box is better than ‘brain man’ or ‘Phone Whiz!” He told her and she just rolled her eyes. Everyone else was looking on in amusement.

**_She takes her phone out of her pocket._ **

**HARRIET:** **But we're sealed off - how did you get a signal?**

**ROSE:** **He zapped it! Super-phone.**

“What about Zap-it-man?” Jack asked Eleven who shook his head.

“No, not….Me enough, make sense?”

“No” He answered, “But whatever, I never knew you were so picky”

**HARRIET:** **_(to the Doctor)_ ** **Then we can phone for help! You must have contacts.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Dead downstairs, yeah.**

**ROSE:** **It's Mickey.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Oh, tell your stupid boyfriend we're busy.  
ROSE: Yeah, he's not so stupid after all.**

**_She hands the Doctor her phone. Mickey has sent her the photo of the Slitheen in Jackie's kitchen. Mickey and Jackie enter Mickey's bedroom, Mickey checking around the door first. He is on the phone to Rose._ **

**MICKEY:** **No, no, no, no, no - not just alien, but like, proper alien. All stinking, and wet, and disgusting. And more to the point, it wanted to kill us!**

**JACKIE:** **I could've died!**

**_Mickey gestures violently at Jackie._ **

**ROSE:** **Is she alright, though? Don't put her on, just tell me.**

“Haha, I wouldn’t want to talk to her at that moment either”

**_The Doctor snatches the phone from her._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Is that Ricky? Don't talk, just shut up and go to your computer.**

**MICKEY:** **It's Mickey. And why should I?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Mickey the Idiot - I might just choke before I finish this sentence, but eh - I need you.**

Both doctors started dramatically chocking and holding their necks. Throughout this façade, they end up sliding of the sofa’s onto the floor. Everyone just waited until they had finished, trying to look un-amused, but failing miserably.

**_Rose smiles. Mickey is on the UNIT website._ **

**MICKEY:** **It says password.**

**_The Doctor is putting the mobile on speakerphone._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Say again.**

**MICKEY:** **It's asking for the password.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Buffalo - two Fs, one L.  
 _Jackie puts down two cups of tea on the computer desk._**

“Oh tea, how I’ve missed you!” Rory said dramatically, with Amy rolling her eyes at his antics.

**JACKIE:** **So, what's that website?**

**_Mickey finishes typing in the password and turns to her as the page loads._ **

**MICKEY:** **All the secret information known to mankind. See, they've known about aliens for years, they just kept us in the dark.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Mickey, you were born in the dark.**

**ROSE:** **Oh, leave him alone.**

**MICKEY:** **Thank you. Password again.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Just repeat it, every time.**

“Not very tight security” Gwen muttered frowning, she guessed she should be happy that it helped the doctor, but if that one password got into the wrong hands, she would hate to see what would happen.

**_Mickey hands Jackie the phone as he types it in again._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Big Ben - why did the Slitheen hit Big Ben?**

**HARRIET:** **You said to gather the experts - to kill them.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That lot would've gathered for a weather balloon, you don't need to crash land in the middle of London.**

**ROSE:** **The Slitheen were hiding - and then they put the entire planet on red alert, what would they do that for?**

**JACKIE:** **Oh, listen to her.**

**ROSE:** **At least I'm trying!**

**JACKIE:** **Well, I've got a question if you don't mind. Because since that man walked into our lives, I have been attacked in the streets. I have had creatures from the pits of hell in my own living room, and my daughter's disappeared off the face of the Earth.**

**ROSE:** **I told you what happened.**

**JACKIE:** **I'm talking to him. 'Cause I've seen this life of yours, Doctor. And maybe you get off on it. And maybe you think it's all clever and smart, but you tell me. Just answer me this - is my daughter safe?**

The doctor’s both looked uncomfortable at this, because no one was ever safe and they still put them in danger. Everyone in the room tensed up, knowing the answer, not wanting to hear it, because they knew how it could end, in fact all but two did know how it ended, and it wasn’t ever happy.

**_Mickey looks around at her. The Doctor stares intently at the phone._ **

**ROSE:** **I'm fine.**

**JACKIE:** **Is she safe? Will she always be safe? Can you promise me that?**

**_The Doctor glances up at Rose, who looks back at him. They stare at each other._ **

**JACKIE:** **Well, what's the answer?**

**_Mickey grabs the phone off Jackie, breaking the moment._ **

**MICKEY** **: We're in.**

Everyone let out a sigh of relief, thankful for the distraction.

**_Let off the hook, the Doctor rushes around the table._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Right then - on the left, there's a tab - an icon - little concentric circles - click on that.**

**MICKEY:** **What is it?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **The Slitheen have got a spaceship in the North Sea and it's transmitting that signal, now hush, let me work out what it's saying.**

**JACKIE:** **He'll have to answer me one day.**

**MICKEY:** **_(gesturing violently)_ ** **Hush!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's some sort of message.**

**ROSE:** **What's it say?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Don't know - it's on a loop, keeps repeating.**

**_Mickey's doorbell rings._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Hush!**

**MICKEY:** **That's not me. _(to Jackie)_ Go and see who that is. **

**JACKIE** **: It's three o'clock in the morning.**

**MICKEY:** **Well go and tell them that.**

**_Jackie gives him a look as she gets up. Mickey shakes his head._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's beaming out into space, who's it for?**

**_The doorbell rings more persistently._ **

**JACKIE:** **Alright!**

**_She opens the door to reveal Strickland._ **

“Shit” Gwen swore, with others thinking the same thing around her.

**STRICKLAND:** **Mrs Tyler.**

**_Jackie slams it shut again and runs back to Mickey's room squealing._ **

**JACKIE:** **It's him! It's the thing, it's the Slickeen!**

“Haha Slickeen” Jack laughed at his new name for that race.

**MICKEY:** **They've found us.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Mickey, I need that signal.**

**ROSE:** **Never mind the signal, mum just get out! Get out! Get out!**

**_Mickey picks up a cricket bat._ **

“Manly” Jack commented, but was ignored.

**MICKEY:** **We can't, it's by the front door.**

**_Outside the front door, the Slitheen takes his body suit off. Jackie and Mickey see the blue light shining beneath the cracks around the door._ **

**MICKEY:** **Oh, my God. It's unmasking. It's gonna kill us.**

**HARRIET:** **There's got to be some way of stopping them! _(to the Doctor)_ You're supposed to be the expert, think of something!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I'm trying!**

**_The Slitheen makes worrying noises from outside._ **

**MICKEY:** **I'll take it on, Jackie. You just run. Don't look back. Just run.**

“At least he’s willing to risk his life” Ianto told the room everyone nodded. Rose was extremely proud of her boyfriend.

**_He squares himself in front of the door. Down the phone, they hear the Slitheen smashing the door in._ **

**ROSE:** **That's my mother.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Right! If we're going to find their weakness, we need to find out where they're from - which planet. So, judging by their face and shape, that narrows it down to five thousand planets within travelling distance. What else do we know about them? Information!**

**ROSE:** **They're green.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yep, narrows it down.**

**ROSE:** **Uh, good sense of smell.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Narrows it down.**

**ROSE:** **They can smell adrenaline.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Narrows it down.  
HARRIET: The compression technology. **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Narrows it down.**

**ROSE:** **The spaceship in the Thames - you said slipstream engine?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Narrows it down.**

**_The Slitheen punches a hole through the door._ **

**MICKEY:** **It's getting in!**

**ROSE:** **Oh! They hunt like it's a ritual.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Narrows it down.**

**HARRIET:** **Wait a minute! Did you notice, when they fart - if you'll pardon the word - it doesn't just smell like a fart - if you'll pardon the word - it's something else, what is it, it's more like uh... um...**

**ROSE:** **Bad breath!**

**HARRIET:** **That's it!**

“Calcium Decay!” River shouted, forgetting that it would probably be mentioned on the TV.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Calcium decay! Now that narrows it down!**

**ROSE:** **We're getting there, mum!**

**MICKEY:** **Too late!**

**_The Slitheen is still having some trouble getting through the door._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Calcium phosphate, organic calcium, living calcium, creatures made out of living calcium, what else, what else - hyphenated sodium - yes! That narrows it down to one planet! Raxacoricofallapatorius!**

“Raxa- what?” Gwen and Amy asked, both smilling at each other.

“Raxacoricofallapatorius!” Rose, River, The two doctor’s and Jack shouted, causing the other to hold their hands over their ears.

**MICKEY:** **Oh, yeah, great. We could write 'em a letter.**

“That would be a good letter!” Jack said laughing. Everyone else just looked confused, but decided not to ask what the hell he was going on about.

**_The Slitheen kicks half the door down and begins to step through it._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Get into the kitchen!**

**_Jackie and Mickey back into the kitchen. They slam the door, trying to bar it shut with a chair and a dustbin as the Slitheen throws its weight against it._ **

**JACKIE:** **My God, it's going to rip us apart!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Calcium, recombined with compression field - ascetic acid. Vinegar!**

**HARRIET:** **Just like Hannibal!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Just like Hannibal. Mickey, have you got any vinegar?**

**MICKEY:** **How should I know?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **It's your kitchen.**

**ROSE:** **Cupboard by the sink, middle shelf.**

**_Jackie snatches the phone from Mickey._ **

**JACKIE:** **Give it here, what do you need?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Anything with vinegar!**

**_Jackie grabs a jug and opens the cupboard._ **

**JACKIE:** **Gherkins!**

**_The Slitheen is poking holes in the door with its claws._ **

**JACKIE:** **Yeah! Pickled onions!**

**_She adds them to the jug. Mickey has the bat raised ready._ **

**JACKIE:** **Picked eggs!**

“You kiss him?” Jack said a little disgusted. Both Doctor’s looked horrified yet again as Rose howled with laughter.

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(to Rose)_ ** **You kiss this man?**

Everyone else started laughing aswell, and the Doctors were starting to hate how many coincidences they and Jack had.

**_The Slitheen finally kicks down the door and enters the kitchen. Jackie and Mickey back against the counter. Jackie chucks the vinegar all over it. There is a few seconds silence and then it explodes, splattering the whole room, Jackie and Mickey with green goo. Having heard the bang, the Doctor, Rose and Harriet all breathe a sigh of relief. Mickey lowers his bat._ **

**ROSE:** **Hannibal?**

**HARRIET:** **Hannibal crossed the Alps by dissolving boulders with vinegar.**

**ROSE:** **Oh. Well, there you go then.**

**_They raise their glasses in toast, and drink._ **

**ROSE:** **Phew!**

**_Downstairs, Asquith approaches Joseph._ **

**ASQUITH:** **He's dead. Sip Fel Fotch Pasameer- Day Slitheen is dead.**

They all laughed at the ridiculous name. **  
JOSEPH: I felt it. How could that happen?**

**ASQUITH:** **Somebody must've got lucky.**

**JOSEPH:** **That's the last piece of luck anyone on this rock will ever have.**

“That’s the problem with Aliens they all underestimate humans” Ten said sighing. “It’s generally what gets them killed.”

“Well sometimes, it’s a good thing” Amy reminded him.

“Yeah but it can also be a bad thing” Ten told her, not wanting to expand on his answer, he turned to the TV.

**_Joseph and Asquith walk out of the doors of 10 Downing Street, to address the crowd outside. He faces the camera._ **

**JOSEPH:** **Ladies and Gentlemen - Nations of the World - Human Kind. The greatest experts in extra-terrestrial events came here tonight. They gathered in the common cause. But the news I bring you now is grave indeed.**

**_Mickey, wiping the goo off himself with a towel, comes into the living room to watch Joseph on the TV._ **

**JOSEPH:** **The experts are dead. Murdered - right in front of me by alien hands. Peoples of the Earth, heed my words. These visitors do not come in peace.**

**_Mickey takes the phone off Jackie._ **

**MICKEY:** **Listen to this.**

**_He holds the phone to the TV._ **

**JOSEPH:** **Our inspectors have searched the sky above our heads and they have found massive weapons of destruction, capable of being deployed within 45 seconds.**

**_The Doctor, Rose and Harriet are crowded around the phone, listening to him._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **What?**

**JOSEPH:** **Our technicians can - baffle - the alien probes. But not for long. We are facing extinction. Unless we strike first. The United Kingdom stands directly beneath the belly of the mother ship. I beg the United Nations - pass an emergency resolution. Give us the access codes! A nuclear strike at the heart of the ship is our only chance of survival. Because... from this moment on... it is my solemn duty to inform you... planet Earth is at war.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **He's making it up. There's no weapons up there, there's no threat. He just invented it.**

**HARRIET:** **Do you think they'll believe him?**

“That’s the thing with you humans, you’re too gullible” Eleven told the room.

**ROSE:** **They did last time.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's why the Slitheen went for spectacle. They want the whole world panicking, because you lot - you get scared, you lash out.**

**ROSE:** **They release the defence codes**

**THE DOCTOR:** **And the Slitheen go nuclear.**

**HARRIET:** **But why?**

**_The Doctor opens the metal shutters. The Slitheen are still standing outside the door._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **You get the codes, release the missiles. But not into space because there's nothing there. You attack every other country on Earth, they retaliate, fight back. World War Three - whole planet gets nuked.**

“Well that explains it” Ianto said.

“But why?” Gwen asked.

**_Margaret Slitheen, still in her skin suit, stands before the Doctor._ **

**MARGARET:** **And we can sit through it in our spaceship waiting in the Thames. Not crashed. Just parked. They'll be two minutes away.**

**HARRIET:** **But you'll destroy the planet, this beautiful place. What for?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Profit. That's what the signal is beaming into space - an advert.**

“Always down to money” Ten said, a little disgusted. “Everyone all they want is money, they don’t care about beauty or people, they just care about money.”

“Not all of us” Rose defended, and the doctors smiled.

“Yeah not all off you” ten told her, smile widening. That was true, there were certain people who didn’t care about money, people who cared about lives and actually had a soul, and those people were generally the best people in the world, even if they do nothing with their lives, they are still the best.

**MARGARET:** **Sale of the century. We reduce the Earth to molten slag, then sell it. Piece by piece. Radioactive chucks capable of powering every cut-price star liner and budget cargo ship. There's a recession out there, Doctor. People are buying cheap. This rock becomes raw fuel.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **At the cost of 5 billion lives.**

**MARGARET:** **Bargain.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Then I give you the choice - leave this planet or I'll stop you.**

“I’d take that is I were you” Jack warned, and this time, nobody laughed, because it was true. Never go against the doctor, never get him mad, and just never ever try to kill people, because he will retaliate and not in the nicest way possible.

**_The Slitheen all burst out laughing._ **

**MARGARET:** **What? You? Trapped in your box?**

**_The Doctor does not look remotely abashed. He stares her out._ **

“Yes. Him” Everybody said, and the doctors couldn’t believe how much faith they had in them/him.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Yes. Me.**

**_Margaret laughs again, but nervously. The Doctor fixes her in his gaze and closes the shutters. The smirk fades from Margaret's face. London is almost completely deserted._ **

**REPORTER:** **Yesterday saw the start of a brave new world. Today might see it end. The streets are deserted. Everyone's home - just waiting. As the future is decided in New York.**

**NEWSREADER** **: It's midnight here in New York. The United Nations has gathered. England has provided them with absolute proof that the massive weapons of mass destruction do exist. The security council will be making a resolution in a matter of minutes.**

**_Mickey picks up the phone from the top of the TV._ **

**NEWSREADER:** **And once the codes are released, humanity's first interplanetary war begins.**

**_Jackie is watching the TV biting her nails, scared and anxious. Inside 10 Downing Street, Margaret and Asquith make to go up the stairs as Joseph pauses at the bottom to talk to the Sergeant._ **

**JOSEPH:** **Sergeant. We'll take the call in the Prime Minister's office. Maintain the oppositions. Good luck.**

**_They shake hands. Asquith pats him genially on the shoulder, and the Sergeant resumes his post at the bottom of the stairs. Margaret, Asquith and Joseph bundle their way into the Prime Minister's office, all insanely excited._ **

**MARGARET:** **Oh! Look at that! The telephone is actually red.**

“Couldn’t help but add that little touch could he?” Rory smiled.

**_She blows it a kiss. Joseph sits down behind the desk, farting as he does so._ **

**JOSEPH:** **_(excitedly)_ ** **How long 'til they phone?!**

**ASQUITH:** **Counting down...!**

**_Jackie is on the phone again._ **

**JACKIE:** **Alright, Doctor. I'm not saying I trust you, but there must be something you can do.**

**HARRIET:** **If we ferment the porch, we could make ascetic acid.**

**ROSE:** **Mickey, any luck?**

**MICKEY:** **There's loads of emergency numbers - they're all on voicemail.**

**_The Doctor is standing quietly with his arms folded, leaning against the wall away from the other two. He is deep in thought._ **

**HARRIET:** **Voicemail dooms us all.**

**ROSE:** **If we could just get out of here**

**THE DOCTOR:** **There's a way out.**

**ROSE:** **What?**

**_She turns to face him incredulously._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **There's always been a way out.**

**ROSE:** **Then why don't we use it?**

**_The Doctor strides over to the table and leans over to speak into the phone._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(to Jackie)_ ** **Because I can't guarantee your daughter will be safe.**

**JACKIE:** **Don't you dare. Whatever it is, don't you dare.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's the thing, if I don't dare, everyone dies.**

**ROSE:** **Do it.**

**_The Doctor looks up at her._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **You don't even know what it is, you'd just let me?**

“Sometimes you have too much trust in me, Rose Tyler” the doctor looked at Rose as he said it, and she could see a wave of emotion in his old, old, eyes, but she couldn’t work it out. “And that may be the downfall of you” he said sadly. Eleven couldn’t look at anyone, even River found it hard to not have a sad look on her face. Jack, who generally tried to be a happy person, was also depressed. Amy and Rory noticed this, but decided not to say anything, guessing that it wouldn’t end well by the people in the rooms emotions.

**ROSE:** **_(simply)_ ** **Yeah.**

**_The Doctor stares at her._ **

**JACKIE:** **Please, Doctor. Please! She's my daughter, she's just a kid!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Do you think I don't know that? Because this is my life, Jackie, it's not fun, it's not smart, it's just standing up and making a decision because nobody else will.**

**ROSE:** **_(softly)_ ** **Then what're you waiting for?**

**_The Doctor looks up at her again._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I could save the world but lose you.**

**_They stare intensely into each other’s eyes for a long moment until Rose averts her gaze with a shy smile._ **

**HARRIET:** **Except it's not your decision, Doctor. It's mine.**

**JACKIE:** **_(angrily)_ ** **And who the hell are you?**

**HARRIET:** **Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North. The only elected representative in this room, chosen by the people, for the people, and on behalf of the people I command you. Do it.**

**_The Doctor looks back at Rose and grins. Joseph, Margaret and Asquith are still waiting for the phone to ring._ **

**JOSEPH:** **Victory... should be naked!**

Jack was laughing hysterically changing the uses to be depressed emotion in the room to one of curiosity. “Let’s just say, a show girl, a pilot and 100 aliens intending to invade” Jack couldn’t help but laugh more at the memory, and everyone decided they definitely didn’t want to know.

**_He unzips his forehead. The other two follow suit. Rose jumps onto the table._ **

**ROSE:** **How do we get out?**

**_Doctor opens the briefcase containing the emergency protocols._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **We don't. We stay here.**

**_He opens the emergency protocols._ **

**_In New York, the newsreader receives new information through her earpiece._ **

**NEWS READER:** **The counsel is voting. The results should be known any second now.**

**_The Slitheen finish removing their skin suits. The Doctor shuffles through the protocols and then turns to address Mickey._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Use the buffalo password, it overrides everything.**

**_Mickey types the password in. Jackie watches him._ **

**JACKIE:** **What're you doing?**

**MICKEY:** **_(as though he can't quite believe what he is saying)_ ** **Hacking into the Royal Navy. _(after a moment)_ We're in. Here it is, uh... H.M.S. Taurean, Trafalgar Class Submarine, 10 miles off the coast of Plymouth. **

**_Jackie stands, agitated._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Right, we need to select a missile.**

**MICKEY:** **We can't go nuclear, we don't have the defence codes.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **We don't need it, all we need is an ordinary missile. What's the first category?**

**MICKEY:** **Sub Haffoon, UGMA4A.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **That's the one. Select.**

“Do you even know what it is?” River asked the two, who stayed unnaturally quiet. “Of course, act first, ask questions later”.

**_Jackie walks up behind Mickey._ **

**JACKIE:** **I could stop you.**

**MICKEY:** **_(turns)_ ** **Do it, then.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Ready for this?**

**_Mickey and Jackie stare at each other for a few more seconds - but Jackie doesn't move._ **

**MICKEY:** **Yeah.**

**_He looks back at the screen. Jackie sits back down._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Mickey the Idiot. The world is in your hands. Fire.**

**_Breathing heavily, Mickey screws up his eyes and clicks the Fire button. 10 miles off the coast of Plymouth, a missile launches itself out of the sea._ **

**JACKIE:** **Oh, my God.**

**_The missile is shown on the screen. Harriet taps the steel shutters._ **

**HARRIET:** **How solid are these?**

“Not solid enough” River stated and everyone groans, wondering how the hell they get out of this one.

**THE DOCTOR:** **Not solid enough, built for short range attack, nothing this big.**

**ROSE:** **Alright. Now I'm making the decision. I'm not gonna die, we're gonna ride this one out.  
 _(opens the cupboard door)_ It's like what they say about earthquakes, you can survive 'em by standing under a doorframe. Now this cupboard's small so it's strong. Come and help me! Come on!**

“YES!” Jack yelled, and everyone else couldn’t help cheering with him.

**_Harriet hurries to help her. The missile soars over the sea._ **

**NEW YORK NEWSREADER:** **The vote is in. The counsel says... yes. They are releasing the codes.**

“This is cutting it awfully close!” Amy said nervously and Rory held her hand and whispered, “You do realise that the doctors and rose are sitting in the same room as us right?” Amy just giggled and hit him playfully, “Aren’t I allowed to be concerned?” She asked him, and he shrugged.

**_The Slitheen family are now all gathered around the phone._ **

**SLITHEEN/JOSEPH:** **Ring, damn you!**

**_Mickey is still staring at the computer screen._ **

**MICKEY:** **It's on radar. Counter defence 556.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Stop them intercepting it.**

**MICKEY:** **I'm doing it now.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Good boy.**

**_Mickey taps a few keys._ **

**MICKEY:** **556 neutralized.**

**_The Doctor rips the mobile off speaker phone. Downstairs, the Sergeant rushes to a computer terminal, looking over the operator's shoulder._ **

**SGT PRICE:** **What do you mean, 'incoming'?**

“Well I would think that’s kind of obvious” Jack said, rolling his eyes at the stupidity of the sergeant.

**_The operator points at the screen where the missile shows up on radar. The missile soars over London. The Sergeant smashes the glass on the fire alarm, which goes off._ **

**SGT. PRICE:** **Everybody out! Now! Get out!**

**_Everyone runs to the door. The Slitheen family hear the alarm._ **

**JOSEPH:** **What the hell is that for?**

**_The Sergeant bursts in._ **

**SGT PRICE:** **Sir, there's a missile!**

**_The Slitheen all look round at him._ **

**SGT PRICE:** **Sorry.**

“HAHAHAHA” everyone was laughing at the guys face, but none more than Jack, who was rolling on the floor with laughter. Everyone else stopped, looked at him and burst out in further laughter. They couldn’t stop, and it was another 5 minutes until they did. “Oh god, I haven’t seen a reaction like that since 1901, oh god, that was hilarious, I thought he was going to faint, well he did, but not because he found out I was immortal, I’ll tell you that”

“So you are immortal” Rose said

“I thought that was kind of obvious”

“Well no one has explained it to me!” she told him and he laughed

“Oh, maybe later”

Rose just huffed, but said no more.

**_He runs out again. The missile soars past Mickey's flat. Jackie runs out onto the balcony to watch it._ ** **_Two of the female Slitheen are fighting over Margaret's skin suit._**

**SLITHEEN 1:** **That's mine!**

**SLITHEEN 2:** **No, mine!**

**_The others are all struggling to get back inside their skin suits. A hoard of security guards run out of the door of 10 Downing Street. The Sergeant fires a gun into the air._ **

**SGT PRICE:** **Everybody run!**

**_Everyone runs. He looks up into the sky to see the missile making straight for 10 Downing Street._ ** **_Rose, the Doctor and Harriet bundle into the cupboard. The crouch in a corner, Rose and Harriet either side of the Doctor._**

**HARRIET:** **Nice knowing you both.**

**_They all hold hands._ **

**HARRIET:** **Hannibal!**

**_They brace themselves. The second before the missile hits, the Slitheen all look up._ **

**SLITHEEN:** **Oh, boll—**

**_The missile hits._ ** **The whole of 10 Downing Street explodes in flames. _The Doctor, Rose and Harriet are all severely shaken around in their cupboard. Then it stops. The place is in ruins, smoking. Then, the Doctor, Rose and Harriet emerge from the wreckage. Harriet looks around._**

**HARRIET:** **Made in Britain.**

**_The Sergeant hurries over to them._ **

**SGT PRICE:** **Are you alright?**

**HARRIET:** **_(flashing her ID card at him)_ ** **Harriet Jones. MP, Flydale North. I want you to contact UN immediately, tell the ambassadors the crisis is over and they can step down. Go on, tell the news!**

“I can see why she got elected” Rory muttered, and Amy asked “And you couldn’t before?” She asked giggling. “Oh be quiet” he said affectionately.

**SGT PRICE:** **Yes, ma'am.**

**_He hurries away again._ **

**HARRIET:** **Someone's got a hell of a job sorting this lot out. Oh, Lord! We haven't even got a Prime Minister!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, maybe you should have a go.**

**HARRIET:** **Me? _(laughs)_ I'm only a back-bencher. **

**ROSE:** **I'd vote for ya!**

**HARRIET:** **Now, don't be silly.**

**_Rose and the Doctor grin._ **

**HARRIET:** **Look, I'd better go and see if I can help.**

**_She climbs over the rubble towards the crowd of people. The Doctor beams at Rose._ **

**HARRIET:** **Hang on! _(shouts over to the crowd)_ The Earth is safe! Sergeant!**

**_The Doctor and Rose walk together._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **I thought I knew the name.**

**_He watches her hurry over to the cameras and ambulances._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Harriet Jones - future Prime Minister. Elected for three successive terms - the architect of Britain's Golden Age.**

“Good woman” Jack nodded as he said, with everyone agreeing around him.

**HARRIET:** **The crisis has passed! Ladies and Gentlemen - I have something to say to you all!**

**_Rose and the Doctor watch her fondly from a distance. Then they turn and walk away. Harriet speaks to the camera._ **

**HARRIET:** **Mankind stands tall - proud - and undefeated. God bless the human race.**

**_She beams around at them all. Rose enters her flat, and is greeted with a huge hug from a relieved Jackie. They both close their eyes, happy to be together again._ ** **_The Doctor enters the TARDIS, looking very pleased with himself. He starts the engines and grins up at it._ _Rose is sitting on the chair in front of the TV, watching a repeat of Harriet Jones' speech._**

**HARRIET:** **Mankind stands tall - proud –**

**_Jackie comes in._ **

**JACKIE:** **_(contemptuously)_ ** **Harriet Jones. Who does she think she is? Look at her! Taking all the credit. Should be you on there. _(addresses TV)_ My daughter saved the world!**

“Always seems to forget us” Ten told the room, pointing between him and eleven. Everyone else just laughs. “That’s mothers for you” Eleven told him and they grinned.

**ROSE:** **I think the Doctor helped a bit**

**JACKIE:** **_(sitting down)_ ** **Oh, alright then. Him too. You should be given knighthoods.**

The doctors and Rose look between each other and start laughing. “Oh they do, don’t worry about that Jackie” River smiled, and ten looked at her shocked _how is it she knows everything?_ He asked himself.

**ROSE:** **That's not the way he does things. No fuss, he just... moves on. He's not that bad if you gave him a chance.**

**JACKIE:** **He's good in a crisis, I'll give him that.**

“I think it’s the end of the world!” Jack said holding his heart. Everyone else just laughed, again, at jacks antics.

**ROSE:** **Oh! Now the world has changed, you're saying nice things about him.**

**JACKIE:** **Well, I reckon I've got no choice! There's no getting rid of him since you're infatuated.**

**ROSE:** **_(unconvincingly)_ ** **I'm not infatuated**

**JACKIE:** **What does he eat?**

“Nothing, trust me” Amy told them, thinking about the time when she was eight. Eleven just smiled.

**ROSE:** **How do you mean?**

**JACKIE:** **I was gonna do shepherds pie.**

“EURGH!” both doctors screamed put in disgust, the looked at each other, that had never happened before.

**_Rose sniggers._ **

**JACKIE:** **All of us. A proper sit down. 'Cause... I'm ready to listen. I wanna learn about you and him and that life you lead. Only, I dunno, he's an alien. For all I know, he eats grass and safety pins and things.**

“mmm…grass” Rory said sarcastically while everyone laughed.

**ROSE:** **He'll have shepherd pie. You're gonna cook for him?**

**JACKIE:** **What's wrong with that?**

**ROSE:** **He's finally met his match.**

**JACKIE:** **You're not too old for a slap, you know.**

**_Rose giggles. Jackie gets up and goes to the kitchen._ **

**JACKIE:** **You can go and visit your gran tomorrow.**

**_Rose's mobile rings._ **

**JACKIE:** **You'd better learn some French. I told her you were in France. I said you were au-pairing.**

**_The caller ID on the screen of Rose's mobile reads 'TARDIS calling' complete with a little TARDIS icon. Rose answers._ **

**ROSE:** **Hello?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Right, I'll be a couple of hours, then we can go.**

**ROSE:** **_(incredulous)_ ** **You've got a phone?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **You think I can travel through space and time and I haven't got a phone? _(laughs contemptuously)_ Like I said, couple of hours... I've just got to send out this dispersal _(presses a button)_ There you go. That's cancelling out the Slitheen's advert in case any bargain hunters turn up. **

**ROSE:** **My mother's cooking.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Good! Put her on a slow heat and let her simmer.**

“good one” Jack told the doctors who smiled as everyone else chuckled.

**ROSE:** **She's cooking tea. For us.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **I don't do that.**

**ROSE:** **She wants to get to know you.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Tough! I've got better things to do!**

**ROSE:** **It's just tea.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Not to me it isn't.**

**ROSE:** **She's my mother.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, she's not mine!**

**ROSE:** **That's not fair!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, you can stay there if you want! _(pause)_ But right now there's this plasma storm brewing in the horse head nebula. **

**_Rose listens to him intently._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Fires are burning 10 million miles wide. I could fly the TARDIS right into the heart of it then ride the shock wave all the way out - hurtle right across the sky and end up anywhere.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Your choice.**

**_He hangs up. Rose ends the call slowly and presses the phone to her lips, deep in thought. The Doctor pauses for a second and then goes back to the console._ ** **_Jackie comes back into the living room with two cups of tea._ **

**JACKIE:** **Rose, I was thinking**

**_Rose's seat is empty, so Jackie walks in the direction of Rose's bedroom instead._ **

**JACKIE:** **I've got that bottle of Amaretto from New Year’s Eve, does he drink?**

**_Jackie opens the door to Rose's bedroom. Rose is stuffing some clothes into a bag. Jackie watches her._ **

**JACKIE:** **I was wondering whether he drinks or not.**

**ROSE:** **Yeah, he does.**

**_She continues stuffing the clothes into the bag._ **

**JACKIE:** **_(quietly)_ ** **Don't go, sweetheart.**

**_Rose stops for a moment and looks around at her._ **

**JACKIE:** **Please don't go.**

**_Guiltily, Rose continues to pack. It is night time. Mickey is sitting reading a newspaper on a bin outside the TARDIS. The small boy who graffiti'd the TARDIS the previous day is now busy cleaning it off again. The Doctor pokes his head around the door._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **Good lad. Graffiti that again and I'll 'ave ya. Now, beat it.**

“How dare he, drawing on my lovely TARDIS, my sweet baby TARDIS, poor thing, I’m surprised she didn’t have a right tantrum. Humans always destroying things, if I ever see that boy again…” Ten trailed off not realising everyone was staring at him. “What?” He asked when he did notice.

“Oh nothing” Rose smiled sweetly at him.

She gave Jack a stare that said ‘I think he needs help’ Jack nodded at her, completely agreeing. The same thing was going on through Amy’s, Rory’s and River’s head, because Eleven, was nodding along with Ten, and they were now in a deep conversation about how their poor baby TARDIS, would need counselling if it happened again. Everyone who wasn’t the doctors, all looked at each other, and then burst out laughing. The doctors not knowing what it was for just ignored them and went back to their conversation.

**_The little boy scurries off. The Doctor grins. Mickey glances after him. The Doctor walks over to Mickey._ **

**MICKEY:** **I just went down the shop. And I was thinking, you know, like the whole world's changed. Aliens and spaceships all in public. And here it is.**

**_He shows the Doctor the front page of the newspaper, headlined 'Alien Hoax?' - the Doctor gives a small smile._ **

**MICKEY:** **How could they do that? They saw it!**

**THE DOCTOR:** **They're just not ready. You're happy to believe in something that's invisible, but if it's staring you in the face - nope! Can't see it! There's a scientific explanation for that. You're thick.**

“I completely agree” Both doctors said agreeing with their past selves.

“Yep definitely getting him counselling” Rose told the others, who nodded bewildered.

“What?” Ten asked.

“Oh nothing”

He and eleven looked around at everyone, shrugged, then turned back to the TV.

**_Mickey laughs._ **

**MICKEY:** **We're just idiots.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Well, not all of you.**

**MICKEY:** **_(surprised)_ ** **Yeah?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **Present for you, Mickey. _(hands Mickey a disc)_ That's a virus. Put it online, it'll destroy every mention of me. I'll cease to exist. **

**MICKEY:** **What do you want to do that for?**

**THE DOCTOR:** **'Cos you're right. I am dangerous. I don't want anybody following me.**

**_In the background, Jackie and Rose emerge from the flats._ **

**MICKEY:** **How can you say that - and then take her with you? _(gestures Rose)_ **

**THE DOCTOR** **: You could look after her. Come with us.**

Rose looked at him suspiciously, “I didn’t know you asked him” She said to the doctor, who held his hands up in defeat, “Hey, not my idea!” He told her and she nodded.

**MICKEY:** **I can't. This life of yours... it's just too much, I... I couldn't do it. _(as Jackie and Rose approach)_ Don't tell her I said that. **

**JACKIE:** **_(to Rose, pleading)_ ** **I'll get a proper job. I'll work weekends, I'll pass my test and if Jim comes round again, I'll say no. I really will.**

**ROSE:** **I'm not leaving 'cos of you. I'm travelling, that's all. And then I'll come back!**

**JACKIE:** **But it's not safe.**

**ROSE:** **Mum... if you saw it out there... you'd never stay home.**

**_She turns to the Doctor, taking her backpack off her shoulders._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **_(sarcastically)_ ** **Got enough stuff?**

**ROSE:** **Last time I stepped in there, it was spur of the moment.**

**_She throws an enormous bag into the Doctor's arms._ **

**ROSE:** **Now I'm signing up. You're stuck with me. Haha.**

“Never going to get rid of me now” Rose teased the doctor, not realising the pained expression in Eleven and River’s face. Ten it seemed also didn’t notice and said “Oh Haha” Sarcastically, but the grin on his face looked as if it would never be removed.

**_Rose goes up to Mickey - Jackie looks the Doctor up and down._ **

**ROSE:** **_(to Mickey)_ ** **Come with us. There's plenty of room.**

**_Mickey gestures to the Doctor._ **

**THE DOCTOR:** **No chance, he's ah, a liability, I'm not having him on board.**

**ROSE:** **We'd be dead without him.**

**THE DOCTOR:** **My decision is final.**

**_Rose turns back to Mickey._ **

**ROSE:** **Sorry.**

**_They kiss briefly. Mickey gives a small wave as she backs away._ **

**MICKEY:** **Good luck, then.**

**JACKIE:** **_(rounding on the Doctor)_ ** **You still can't promise me. What if she gets lost? What if something happens to you, Doctor, and she's left all alone standing on some moon a million light years away - how long do I wait then?**

**_The Doctor stands there hugging Rose's backpack, not really having an answer, but Rose comes to his rescue._ **

**ROSE:** **Mum**

**_Jackie spins around to face Rose._ **

**ROSE:** **You're forgetting - it's a time machine. I could go travelling around suns and planets and all the way out to the edge of the universe and by the time I get back, yeah - ten seconds would have passed. Just ten seconds. _(puts her hands on Jackie's shoulders, smiles kindly)_ So stop worrying. See you in ten seconds time. Hmm?**

**_She hugs her. The Doctor steps into the TARDIS. Rose follows him. Mickey gives a small wave and Rose shuts the door, leaving Mickey and Jackie alone outside. The TARDIS dematerialises. Jackie keeps her eyes on her watch as they stand in silence, then_ **

**JACKIE:** **Ten seconds.**

**_She walks back to the flats. Mickey settles himself back on top of the dustbin with the newspaper._ **

“Oh my god, that dragged on!” Jack complained.

“Okay then we won’t watch any more” Ten teased, and Jack quickly changed his views.

“No, no I want to” he moaned, like a little kid.

“Fine then, but I want a break, we’ve watched five episodes, and I’m busting for a toilet” Rose told them, and they all agreed that a nice five minute break would be nice.


	7. Chapter 7

** Chapter 7: Break **

As they all got up, Jack asked ‘sexy’ for a bathroom. A door to left of the television appeared and he rushed in there to relieve himself. However, Jack was more concerned about his own reflection, and looked into a mirror, that had conveniently been put there. “Okay” he said to himself, “still looking sexy”, he ran his hand threw his hair trying to see whether there was any grey hairs. After five minutes of thoroughly searching, he was pleased when he found none. He smiled to himself, and screamed out in agony.

The scream was heard by the others, who all looked at each other then went running to the bathroom door. “Jack, Jack, what is it” Ten asked, but go no answer. They all started hammering their fists on the door, until they got a reply, which came three minutes later.

“It’s okay, I’m okay” Jack told them, and they all looked very confused.

“Oh don’t worry, he’s probably found a grey hair or something.” Rose said laughing with the rest of the people in the room. All of them continued what they were doing before, which was well…nothing.

Meanwhile in the bathroom Jack was hyperventilating, sitting on the floor taking deep gasps of breath, he slowly got up and smiled into the mirror, he could not help but whimper as he saw it. Right at the sides of his eyes lay a teeny tiny wrinkle, to most it would be unrecognisable, but to Jack it showed him that he was turning into an old man. _Oh my god, I’m old,_ Jack thought to himself. _But I can’t be old I’m Captain Jack, I’m immortal! How can_ I _be old?_ The Captain was pacing the bathroom, in fear of what he would eventually become. The picture of the head in the pool of water suddenly surfaced into his mind, and it took all of the will power the Captain had not to scream out…again.

During Jacks little conflict, other things were going on in the ‘living area’ as they had decided to call it. It seemed the two doctors had moved to the middle Sofa’s and were talking about past adventures. This caused a lot of laughter coming from the two as they were remembering ‘the good old days’. Amy was talking to Gwen and Ianto was in a conversation with Rory. But perhaps the most interesting conversation was going on was the one between Rose and Riversong, who hadn’t been able to have a proper conversation before this break.

“Hi” Rose said to Riversong, rather nervous. She had just walked over to River who was looking at the group, rather amused.

“Oh, hello” River smiled to Rose and then pointed towards the two doctors “They’re like little kids aren’t they?” The two giggled as the doctors high fived…again.

“How many times is that now?” Rose asked River who sighed.

“Who knows?”

Rose and River stood there gazing upon the room, in an awkward silence for a while, both trying to think of something to say. Rose, finally caved, she turned to the mysterious woman and asked, “No need to be rude, but how close are you to the doctor?” It was not one of a demanding tone, nor was it one of a jealous; it was filled with curiosity, which River rather admired. However beyond the curiosity, was a hint of spite, as if Rose Tyler was not going to give up on her future with the doctor. River looked at the girl, and was quite impressed, she had heard stories of Rose Tyler, but never did she think she would meet her. And now that she had, she realised that Rose Tyler was not who River had imagined to be. She was so much more than that.

River laughed, not mocking, but in anticipation. She wanted to find out every secret that makes this girl who she is; she wanted to find everything that made Rose Tyler, Rose Tyler. She wanted to do this with everybody she ever met, but none more so than this complicated girl. This amazing, bright girl that the doctor fell in love with, she had never met anyone as complicated as the doctor, but maybe, just maybe Rose Tyler would be this person. “I, I travel with the doctor, on occasion.”

“On occasion?” Rose questioned.

“Spoilers” River told her.

“Okay, if you can’t tell me that, then tell me this, where am I?” Rose knew she wouldn’t like the answer, but she needed to know. “Because I never want to leave this life, it’s amazing, and I would go kicking and screaming, but I need to know, is the doctor happy without me, did I chose to leave and did he ever realise?” Rose of course was talking about the fact that she was in love with the impossible man, maybe he didn’t realise, but she did. It would have taken her longer, had she not been in this room, but she realised she really did love him.

River sighed “The answer to your questions will come very soon” She told Rose, who had an aggravated look on her face, “But I can tell you, that you never left willingly, that you are happy and that the doctor, never stopped loving you” Rose gasped at this ridiculous piece of information, if he loved her then she would know, wouldn’t she? Rose decided to brush this piece of information off, and take it that River meant as a friend, and decided to take the plunge, and ask the one question that had been plaguing her thoughts throughout this, whatever it was.

“Are you and the doctor married?” she did not mean it to come out so quickly, and so direct, but River just laughed, like she had been asked this question before.

“Spoilers” She told Rose, who laughed.

“Right of course” It was an odd start, but it set the two off, they started talking about all the different aliens that they had met, and all the planets they had visited, and of course, they mentioned the ridiculous man and his blue box. They were soon joined by Gwen and Amy, and bouts of giggles were coming from the group of girls, which made the men scared.

“What do you recon they are talking about?” Rory asked eleven cautiously who just looked at the girls, and told him,

“No idea, but whatever it is, it’s not good for us.” He replied.

If you looked on the room, you would probably think of it as a scene from a school disco, all the boys on one side of the room and all the girls on the other.   
A couple of minutes later, Jack came out of the bathroom, a bit shaken, he had figured out that there was no weight gain, and no more grey hairs, but he was scared about the wrinkles, and made a silent vowel to never smile again, once this gathering was over, of course.

“Everybody ready?” he asked the group, who nodded. They all sat in their respected seats, but they didn’t look as uncomfortable as before. All the woman found themselves being harassed by the men over what they were giggling about, yes, even the doctors asked more than twice. They all sent exasperated looks to each other and smiled, their boys would never change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always thought this chapter was a bit out of character for Rose seeing as how she reacted in School reunion but then I think it may be River. She seems to have that calming affect on people, oh and she knows everything, and therefore is not as jealous as Rose (like Sarah Jane was)

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think, do you like the idea? any ideas on what you think should happen.


End file.
